World Clock

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Roles and Responsibilities

post #196

Wanna write this blog since last week, but things were just out of hand and the momentum just kinda fade away as time went by, till today...So many things happened, train of thoughts running through my brain. I can't even remember them all....

First of all, for the first time I experienced a huge problem with my car battery. It just went totally dead on Thursday night two weeks ago. I was like...what the F.... I remember that I did not leave any lights or electrical instrument that might drained the battery. Luckily there were some parking guys and a driver who helped me 'jump start' my car engine....Phheww..... After that incident, I bought myself a jumper cable just for caution.

Got a nice surprise on Friday morning though. She sent me an sms and then called me and we talked for almost an hour. She said that she's addicted talking to me. It seemed like we have endless topic to talk about. Gee....that's a big compliment coming from her. I don't know that I'm that addictive. We might have endless topic to talk about since we haven't talked in quite while. What if we talk regularly, does the addiction still there? Maybe yes...maybe not....Yeah I have to admit it was great talking to her, but I dunno deep down I feel like it's not quite ok, remembering her status. It seemed like I got the role of 'the other guy'.

Which reminds me when I was filling gas at Shell gas station. I looked at one of the guy who worked there...I guess we all have our roles in this world, in this life. But what is it? Do we all know what is our role? Our responsibilities? *blur.... I remember I had this thought I wanna write about this, but my mind's blank at the moment....Lead me to a question, what if we want a role that is not for us? Who defines this role mapping to all of us? Can we exchange roles and responsibilities?
I remember Ko Riko once said in one of our prayer gathering session that (talking in religious context) God has placed this longing, a calling for each and everyone of us at the bottom of our heart. Like a watchmaker who knows exactly how the watch works and which component does what to make the watch works, so does He knows what roles that we play in this (short) life. If it's so, how about the poor? Is it fair that there are poor people? Is it fair that there's famine, war, and lots of other bad things happen?

To be honest, I dunno...I just dunno...I have so limited space inside this tiny head of mine and my knowledge is far from excellent...maybe what I can say that I try to live my life to the best. I don't even really know for sure what role I hold...beside the role as a son, a brother, an employee, a friend...and other roles in the social environment I take part in.....Maybe time will reveal it.....?

Just went to another gath on saturday. Novi came with me, her hair looked different. But the star of the gath was I must say diva, though she only stopped by for a minute. She looked more gorgeous than the last time I saw her, maybe because last saturday her make up was more natural....

Well..anyway...talking to her reminds me of this song by Michael Fredo, Love All Over Again. It's an old song, but after she called me, the reff was playing on my head..dunno why...lolzzz... I tried look for it and finally got it...thanks to multiply. I remember it was very hard for me to get this song. It's been 8 years since the album was released and I just got it few days ago....Hail the internet!! That's a thing when searching for one album wonder artist, needs lots of time and patience....but it's worth it...So here it is...


Michael Fredo - Love All Over Again

My state of mind, my state of heart
You are the reason, you play the greatest part
When you're around me
Oh baby when you're gone it's still the same

I told myself never again
No sleepless nights and days of endless pain
I saw it coming and so I tried to hide my heart away

CHORUS:
Just when I thought my heart was safe
You make me fall in love all over again
No matter how I run, I just keep on falling in love all over again

What is this thing you do to me
Why can't I break away, why can't I just be free
I guess that love is why I can't walk away from you

To you I guess my love belongs
Do with it what you want to
Baby right or wrong
I understand there is no getting over you

CHORUS

I'm not gonna fight baby, I give in
Give in to you now
It's gonna be right because
As much as I tried, girl I can't let you go
No I can't let you go

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