This Too, Will Pass

post #418

This Too, Shall Pass

I remember I read the sentence which now I use as this entry's title a while back ago. Even at the time I thought it's a good quote. Just about two weeks ago I came to a situation where I found this saying fit my condition.

At the brink of a new year, I finally have to face the inevitable. A change of project location. Surely, eventually I will move one from this project location, which I have adjusted to so well in these last two years (and several months) of my life. I'm gonna miss the decent sleep I've had since this location is near to my house. I'm gonna miss the Kelapa Gading Mall which can be reached within 10 minutes. I'm gonna miss the sport facilities I can use, the parking spot, internet access, celebrity fitness sessions, and most importantly that someone.

I can't deny that I have accustomed to this very comfortable environment. But as the title suggested, this too, will pass. New Year...New Project...

I can't help but feel a bit melancholic about this place. I'm gonna miss you....

Drowsy December

post #417

BIG whoaaaaahhhh...
Time flies. It really does. After a year of hibernating period, I finally have the chance to write yet another entry to this blog. As I write, Linkin Park's song, My December is playing. I don't know if I have said this, but I love Chester's voice in this song. The rhythm, lyric, voice...they form a great song which gives me the chill every time I listen to it.

Lot of things have happened in this year. Year 2011 has brought a lot of new experiences, laughter, disappointment, you name it.

Some of my friends get married this year. A good friend of mine has become a father. I'm assigned to a new project, still at the same client (Thank God for this). I just got back from Manila for a training. Philippine is an interesting country. It's an Asian country with Western taste...one thing that really surprise me when I set foot on it was the car steering wheel. It's on the left side. It took me a while to get used to it. One thing that I like is that the majority of the people there can speak English fluently. Some are better than me I guess. Finding church there is as easy as finding musholla in Jakarta. That's the thing about this year. So many things happen, my passion to write has (as I have mentioned in my previous entries) declined....it has been overcome by my laziness...my procrastination.

My inspiration, my muse have also been affected by the little amount of time I can spend on blog walking. Just the other I read a friend of mine blog which she just started to update again. I guess these days people are more into twitter where they can just write a sentence to update what's on their mind, or just to shout out to the world what they think, what they feel that very moment. This actually can be done via blog as well, but I suppose it's a rarity to see a blog which post only contains a short sentence such as "Gosh, I'm so sleepy now. Need coffee, stat."

There are some topics I want to write, but I haven't got the inspiration about how to write them (plus my acute laziness has not been much help either).

But since this is December, I drag myself to write...as in My December lyric,
This is my December, this is my time of the year.

Dunno why, but I love December. Perhaps that imaginary snow, impression of Christmas and holiday season, and also an imminent change of year gives the idea of a new page in life. A new chapter with blank page, ready to be written. A new chapter which offers a promise of a better tomorrow...

Speaking of drowsy, it just stopped raining few minutes ago. A perfect weather to lazying, relaxing...but unfortunately I still have few hours to kill before I can go home...Overall, it's been a great year and I think I owe a thank you to God for all the things I experience in this year. Come next year, may it be better than this one, amen.

Year End Note

post #416

Hmmm....last year, I spent New Year's Eve at a friend's house in Gading Serpong...it was last minute invitation and it was awesome....we had BBQ, drinks, movies, games....it was filled with activities till 1 Jan afternoon.The year before that, I guess I went to Willy's house along with some pals....The year before that....I guess (if my memory still works OK) we were stuck in front of Gading Mall exactly at midnite, when the fireworks show started. It was raining lightly...a very romantic setting, just that the three of us that were in the carr were all guys...we're on our way to Bowo's place...lolll...Going back further, I think I spent New Year's eve in 2006 at Happy Puppy.


This year...no plan. Just blank. Either I'm too tired with the work...I had to cancel some of my leave plan since there were some work I couldn't leave behind...or else. I just spent these last days lazying (wow...lazying is actually a word), sleeping, watching movie...And again, uneventfully, today is the last day of 2010. It's just like any other days...aside from the trumpet and the noises.


2010...what accomplishment that I've made in this year? I think in general I can check all points in my resolution for 2010 that I compiled last year as done. Career advancement, checked...Better work location / opportunity, checked...Healthier life style, checked (still need improvement though)...I even got some bonus. God answered my prayer in His time and it was rather surprising timing for me.


For all that, I really wanna be thankful to God. I manage to get through this year (well minus few hours). Thank You for all Your blessings, God!
There are some things that I still need to improve though, hence once again I make my 2011 resolution.


God, you know my deepest desire,
My dreams, my plans, my worries
May them be in accordance with what You have in mind for me
I know that you will give me the best, nothing less
Please give me the wisdom,
Patience and faith
So I can live my life better
Throughout the year of 2011
Amen

Point A Star

post #414

Just wanna write a short entry. Today I listened to Sonora and it never failed me in reminiscing some good ol' songs back from the day. BSB - I Want It That Way. Then it leapt forward and played BSB - Inconsolable. Anyway...won't be writing about these songs, rather, I simply dedicated this entry for Sheila on 7. Yes, I just listened to their song again, Tunjuk Satu Bintang. It's a mellow, slow song. I just love the drum beat, the bass, and melody. I just LOVE it!

Well, it turned out that I already put this song on my previous blog entry, almost two years ago. Here's the link to it, in case you wonder what I was writing at that time. --> My Sassy Girl
Here's to SO7, one of few Indonesian Band which music I really love.

I like the last line of the lyric,

If dreams come true someday
Beside you always, my days are

Evening Trip Down Memory Lane

post #413

Writing another entry again this evening (finally) with Madonna's Dear Jessie accompanying me. Heard this song yesterday on Sonora, after so long. It brought up fond memories and feelings. Some memories that I couldn't remember in details, but the feeling it resurrected was....comforting. I like the song. It's a very good song for my child someday :D

Memories...are designed to fade. Just like what I had written, I might not remember all the details of an important event in my life, but I surely remember how it felt. This is also strengthen by the association with other elements during that particular event, i.e. song, place, scent. My senses created a bond with the particular event, hence when I hear, smell, see some element which is the same or resembles, my mind is triggered to 'download' that memory.

Well, this holiday season was different with the last two years. Usually at this holiday time of the year, I'd be in Melbourne, visiting my sister. But not this year. I had already visited her back in March (and played with my gorgeous nephew). I do the usual routine I had done years ago, helping my mom. When I was in store today, I heard songs from Ronan Keating - Life is A Rollercoaster, then Westlife - If I Let You Go.

Boy, these songs went way back. Being there also reminded me of myself, 11 years ago. Similar situation. But at that time it was Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way and Boyzone - All That I Need. Eleven years. I was very young, naive, inexperienced about life. This week has been a reminiscing week. After the Lion's Lunch at Bandar Jakarta, the next day we had lunch at Kopi Tiam. Then on Wednesday we met up again, with David this time, unfortunately Bowo couldn't come. But there's something different, we brought our bf/gf this time. Looking back two years ago, I don't think we'd ever thought that the day would come so fast. The days when the four of us had Sunday Date...hanging around, watching movies, singing at NAV, eating....those are fond memories that will be carved forever in my mind and heart. We ended up our kongkow session with the classic, karaoke at NAV.

I also started to watch Smallville again. I watched season 9. The storyline was...not too far away. I still could catch up though I haven't watched it since season 4 (or 5). Well, no more Lana and Lex, I found it not as appealing as it had been. But I heard from my friend that season 10 (which started this September 2010) will be the last. I thought to myself, finally. It's a final season which is very long overdue. Nine years ago I'd NEVER miss Smallville. Still fresh in my mind how hard it was to get the season 1 DVDs. Kristin Laura Kreuk mesmerized me so badly. But as time went by, we grew apart (now I sound like a drama king...lolllzz).

There were so many images, thoughts, flashbacks running through my mind these last few days. All of them reminded me of times in my life which bring a smile on my face each time I reminisce. I guess it's good to take a trip down memory lane some times. Consider it as a chicken soul for the soul. It's a good way to reflect who I was, what I have become, have I grown, have I become better, what lessons in life I have learned since then..etc... These are then questions we can ask ourselves during the trip. And at the end of it, we may find ourselves rejuvenated, re-motivated, but unfortunately not younger :D


Madonna - Dear Jessie

Baby face don't grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lantern
He will make your dreams come true for you

Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover that
Brings good luck to you, it's all true

Chorus:

Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I said, hang on you're already there

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

Because of You

post #411

Hmmmm..... *long pause
I don't have a really clear idea about what I'm gonna write. It's been a while, my passion to write had faded even more. I just know I want to write, but there are just these vague ideas floating around in my head. Ideas that I couldn't really grasp and pour down in this entry.

Been meaning to write in June, but I spent most of it in Bogor, extremely tired to even think about writing. The first month of Go Live was cruel. There were days when I had to work > 24 hours. Yup, that hectic. But just like what Heath Ledger character, Joker, said in Dark Knight...What doesn't kill you only make you stronger stranger.

Several things that I remember in June were the crazy work, last month of a colleague, sleep in a hotel, and Ne-Yo's song, Because Of You. Well, actually I first heard the acoustic version by Sabrina. A colleague played her song and I liked it instantly. It became my theme song during my stay in Bogor. Another big thing happened in June; watching Wonder Girls mini concert (or should I say, mini case) with a special girl.

After June, come July. The memorable thing in July perhaps was just my Mom's bday. Then.....blank...I couldn't recall any outstanding event in July. Series of days just blended into plain month.

Now...I'm drowsy and almost lost for words to write...so let this short entry mark my comeback...at least for now.

Ne Yo - Because Of You

Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug

Chuck

post #410

Work's been overwhelming lately...no more lite browsing during office hour...heck even no more more browsing after office hour. I was really drowned in work. Went home at almost midnite these last few days. All for the preparation of Go Live on 1st June.

Luckily...I had the long weekend to recharge. Some of my colleagues weren't as fortunate as they had to come to Bogor to have a briefing, which lasted for 8 hours....Well...it couldn't be called briefing...8 hours is not brief :D

Anyway...lot of things happened lately...but the main reason I write this entry is because I just managed to watch Chuck again after..... a year and a half (I think)...the last episode that I watch was Christmas episode of 2008....and now...I got the the rest of season 2 and 3...yippieee....Gosh....it surprised me that I hadn't watched in such a long time. I used to get weekly supply from MS, but after she moved to KL, my supply was stopped.

Anyway...Yvonne was still pretty....Chuck was still funny...and...in season 3, there's a new addition to the team. To my surprise, it was Brandon Routh...the (fail, if I may say so) Superman in Superman Returns. And to make me even more excited, Kristin Kreuk appeared as well from episode 5.

Wowwww....how long has it been? Since the first time I laid my eyes on her in Smallville. It was 2001. Nine years have passed, yet she still looked dazzling. She's not a teenage girl anymore. I don't even really follow news about her since Smallville season.....5 (I think). The last movie of her that I watched was Chun Li (not so good).

Looking her in Chuck gave me that breeze....reminded me of the times when I was such a fan of her. It made me realize that I missed her. I missed her eyes, her smile, her voice, her laughter....I miss those days...my univ days...days when I wouldn't miss Smallville episode....

I miss you, Kristin Laura Kreuk

Bluntly Babling

post #410

Currently I'm tired, my eyes are begging to be shut; but I just gotta write. I really do. While this momentum lasted. It's been almost a month since my last entry, I was swamped with lots of things. Well..let's get start, shall we?

The Outing.
The outing was great. Tiring, exhausting, yet entertaining, thrilling, and exciting. There's this incident with the taxi that I rode in the morning on my way to the rendezvous site, the office. Got the first taxi quite easily, though it didn't look very convincing...then near Pramuka it seemed that the engine was having some kind of problem. It was coughing....and the driver switched something on and off...but eventually the engine gave up. The driver face was panic and he seemed worried.

There were two thoughts crossed my mind almost simultaneously. My naive, trusting, sympathetic side thought it must be sucked for the driver. He'd lose some money because of this engine problem. He looked a bit panic and upset about the engine, how it gave up on him.

My house-md-doctrin-everyone's-guilty-until-proven-otherwise side thought...darn...lucky I was riding in the morning and I got another taxi quite easily as well. I wondered how would it be if I took the taxi in the middle of the nite....what if the engine problem was fake? The driver seemed ok, but we all knew too well about the saying look could be deceiving. I'd probably be a victim *knock wood...

Well, lesson learned here that we have to be careful and aware at any time...I'd like to think positive, yet I still have to prepare for the negative ones.

Anyhow, I got to the rendezvous point on time and went there by bus...arrived at lunch time, opening, some ice breaking and free time. I spent some of the free time by playing soccer . My shirt was soaked wet due to the humid air. Then went to the villa. My roomie was AG again...hehehehe..The bungalow/villa was great. We had couch, little kitchen, and our own pool. Not like that we're gonna use the kitchen anyway, but still nice.

After taking a bath and relaxing for a while, ma and AG went to the the main dining area to enjoy dinner and the rest of the first day event. As usual, some updates and QnA session with the SEs. Then NJP performance, other updates and then the prime event....Take Me Out...it was hilarious!!

We still needed to practice our project performance so we did. The CMD watched as we rehearsed till 1.30 AM...Yupp...we were that dedicated...to win :D One thing I really hate there was the humidity....It was VERY HUMID. Darnnn...It was night and I was sweating like a pig. I didn't know if beach air was like that...but it was really annoying! (yup with exclamation mark. It was THAT annoying) Went back to my villa after the rehearsal and sleep right away.

The next day we have games. We had trekking in the morning. It was standard..waking through the forest (I think) until we arrived at the beach. There were games there. It's fun...then we went back to the main dining area in the afternoon. We were told to be back at 3 PM because the games would be started at another beach. I went back to my villa...took a bath (againnnnn) then went to take a nap, because the rehearsal took few hours of my precious sleeping time. I overslept and woke up at 3 sth PM and it was raining. I was thinking to skip the game and back to sleep. But there was this shuttle car so I decided to come to the beach. Long story short, arrived there, waited for the rain to stop/get better. The games was we had to build a raft, assign one person to grab as many flags which were put on floaters as possible. It was the only game we played due to the unfriendly weather.

Went back to the villa, took a bath (yes...againnn...you're welcome to count how many times I bathe in a day while I was there) then went back to the dining place. The main event for the second day was project performance, rampak bedug and olympic result announcement (though I already kned the result). The project performances were great....fresh....and very fun to watch. Our project performance kicked ass as well, though we had to make some improvisation due to Fuad's missing costume. It ended well...and came the announcement.

I got MAP voucher for being best player and top scorer in Futsal.
Our futsal team also won vouchers and medals as the champion.
Our olympic team also won vouchers since we were the leading team that won three our of four categories (Futsal, Squash, Bowling). We only lost in Wii
To my surprise, my team in the outing games also won the 1st prize...wowww...yippiiieee
It felt good.....very good (esp getting those voucher...hehehehehe)

Went back to my villa and......










yup....I took a bath, again. Went to sleep afterward.
The morning after, we had our breakfast. Then some free time. I ended up sleeping....while the others went to beach to enjoy snorkeling, water skiing, etc. Ermmmm.... Sleeping and Sweating would make a good tagline for this outing :D

Anyway, we all gathered again at lunch time to hear the announcement for the project performance. As predicted, we won 1st place. Closing speech from CMD, then went back to Jakarta. Arrived at around 6.30 PM. Went back home....ate.....slept....

The week after that was a busy week. One month before go live and I also needed to focus on release 2 development. There was this incident when I drove my mom for her routine medical checkup. On our way back home, I was driving while talking....then out of nowhere there's motorcycle crash in front of the car. I didn't really see what happened but I thought the motorcycle s brushed against each other....the effect was both of them fell down, one of them was somersaulting in the air...It was just like in the movies....luckily I still had a good reflexes. I hit the brake to avoid crashing into their motorcycles....Phewwww.....that was close

Nothing else was quite eventful in that week...as far as I could remember. The next week was busier that I thought. Went to Bogor (finally) to resolve some issues on site. It's quite overwhelming...but we managed to get the issues resolved. Little did I know that that nite I was gonna experience some thing for the first time.



The nite went like ordinary nite. We were tired and wanted to go home. We used project car to go back to AOP HO. On the toll road...there was this Suzuki Carry that stopped on the right lane. The CRV in front of our car tried to brake. Our driver followed....But I saw that the CRV was too close. I thought to myself...Oh Boy, we're gonna hit that car....to my surprise, we didn't. The driver managed to brake inches to avoid hitting the CRV.

I was about to sighed in relief when....*#$&**^%$#$^%&%$^@#%$^!@$%
We were hit from behind, and was the passenger of the third row. I was pushed forward by the impact. My knee hit the 2nd row seat. I looked behind and there it was. Another car. We were in silence for a while. Then driver came out. We did too. I looked at the car that hit us. It was Innova and it didn't look pretty at all. The engine hood was bent. The front grill was severely damaged. The front lamps were broken. And I think the radiator was broken as well because I could see there's water leaking.... I was wow-ed....surprised....it was my first traffic accident. Then the driver and the man (it's middle aged man) who hit us had a conversation....not so long after that a man came out of nowhere and suggested that we move the cars to the left lane because it's dangerous to be on the right lane. We might be hit again by other cars.

We moved the cars to the left lane and it turned out to be that the suddenly appeared man was an illegal tow truck driver. He came with his partner and they intimidated us to come with them...bla bla bla....they're really hot-headed....one of them (the younger one) even took the car keys. But it seemed that the older one saw that there were quite many of us (4 guys), so he focused more on the middle aged man who unfortunately drove alone. I think the middle aged man saw what was coming. He wanted us to stay till his insurance tow truck came...but these illegal tow truck drivers forced us to leave (I assumed because they thought they had an easy prey). The project car driver went in the car and drove away. In a way I felt sorry for that man. He's surely extorted by those guys...geezz...

Lesson learned....be careful when driving a vehicle, esp when you drive alone. If something like that happened, I would settle with the other driver as quickly as I can, they drove away to the nearest crowded area, let say toll gate....

I guess the crash was the highlight of this week. Spent the day by relaxing yesterday...then watching Robin Hood today. Cate Blanchett was exquisite. There's something about her that appealed. Don't know what it is....

Well...I really need to hit the bed now....my eyes are flickering like a lamp needs to be replaced...
So....till next time

Crushed

post #408

And I was crushed....

David Archuleta - Crush

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Food Poisoning

post #407


Being sick is not wonderful. That’s the lesson I learned these last two days. I think I just got my very first food poisoning yesterday. Well…actually I already felt something strange on Wednesday night. My assumption, it was because of the seafood that I ate at Pond Pangandaran. And then mixed with Chococino at Café du Chocolat. Perhaps these two created unwanted chemical reaction in my stomach which led to my food poisoning.

It was terrible. I drove home with exhausted body. I thought it was just like any other fatigue coz of work. But when I got home it got worse. I tried to sleep, but then the fever came. My body was hot (literally). I felt something on my stomach and digestive system, like gas or whatever which made me miserable the whole night. I could barely sleep and when I finally did, it was because I was already too tired with the pain and fever. Not to mention I threw up several times.

Woke up the next morning feeling a bit better, so I decided to go to work. But I still felt not fit…and after eating breakfast it seemed that it’d be getting worse and that I really needed some rest. A colleague was kind and gave me Norit to ease my food poisoning. I took half day off and went home at lunch time. Went to sleep till evening. I think the Norit kicked in. I woke up in the evening and ate dinner. Didn’t really have the appetite, but I had to eat.

After that I went online for a while…then went to sleep again. And today I think I’m much better…thank God. This experience reminded me…when was the last time I got sick? I couldn’t really remember, but I think it was few years back when I was diagnosed with Typhus symptoms. At times like this, it’d be great to have someone to look after me…but even without that person, I managed to survive. Perhaps this self-sufficient thing is not such a bad thing after all. Perhaps I’ve been keeping things to myself way too long…

I asked my friend who also ate at Pondok Pangandaran. One of them experienced similar symptoms, only much lighter, the other two were fine….hmmm…I stick to my assumption that the food there was the cause of my sickness…Anyway….being sick is not recommended. Seriously!!

A Glimpse of Parenthood

post #406

Just did a blogwalking and it move me to write this entry. The one that I have been postponing since I got back from Melbourne. After visiting my friend who just gave birth, this passion to write rose again, but I got caught up with work (lame excuse :p) and other things.
Anyway there’s a major difference when I visited my sis back in Sept with the latest one. I was so excited the last time because finally I could see, touch, hear, and hold my nephew. Not just seeing his picture which my sis often tag me on FB. The days I spent there mostly revolving around daily activities and my baby nephew, how it’s like to have a life there (non-working life ;p). And I have to say, it’s a very good life.

There’s a song that constantly playing in my mind when I thought my baby nephew. It’s Simply Red – For Your Babies, an old, but very beautiful song. The music and lyric are just wonderful. Come to think about it, baby is amazing. Living in the mother’s womb for nine months, during which the mother could feel every movement her baby made. Every nudge, every kick, even every burp. Perhaps that’s why mother-child bond is generally stronger than father-child.
Few months ago I chatted with my sis and talked about the baby. She said that her whole life would change. When the baby was still her womb, she’d be worried whether the baby had enough nutrition, hoped that the baby would be born normal, without complication or other genetic disorder. When the baby became a child, she’d want her child to grow healthy physically and mentally. When her child became a teenager she’d worried about her son/daughter behavior and choice of friends. When her son/daughter graduated from univ, she’d worried whether he/she would get a good job. Then how about his/her spouse to be? Would he/she have a happy family….and so on.. In short, worried for her baby’s life. I said to her, “Sis, being a parent is a lifetime, 24 7 job”.

How often do we look at baby picture and comment about how cute the baby is. Or when we see someone holding a baby, we often say…”Owww…he/she is such a cute baby”. Little do we know about behind the scene activities of that cute baby. When we have to change the diaper (luckily now disposable diaper is very easy to find), bath, and feed the baby. More than just once/twice my baby nephew cried so hard and one of us would rush, tried to sooth him. Not only that, the feeding schedule was also quite tiring. A lot of things have to be prepared when taking the baby out. Milk, change of clothes, diapers, etc should be on the checklist. These are the things we often do not realize. These are the things parents must do for their baby. Parents have to sacrifice a lot for their baby. They have to put aside their ego, re-prioritize things for the baby. They might even do things they had never thought they could do.

It’s true what people say that being parents is not easy. There’s no school to teach the parents-to-be. There’s no one, fixed, and definitive guideline about how being a parent should be like. There are only inputs from our own parents, friends, other people, books, etc. Parents would eventually decide their own parenting style, hence here we are, unique individuals with vast background and upbringing diversity.

That’s what I experienced on my last trip to Melbourne, a glimpse of parenthood. It’s not easy, but when I looked at my nephew’s peaceful face while he was sleeping, looked at his genuine smile or pout, smell his sweet baby scent…all the troubles were definitely worthy. I’m sure this kind of feeling that parents have for their baby.

Just like these fragments of Simply Red – For Your Babies

You've got that look again
The one I hoped I had when I was a lad
Your face is just beaming
Your smile got me boasting, my pulse roller-coastering
Any way the four winds that blow
They're gonna send me sailing home to you
Or I'll fly with the force of a rainbow
The dream of gold will be waiting in your eyes


Congrats to a friend of mine who just became a parent. You have brought life into this world. I believe you’re gonna be a great parent.
Like I have said in so many occasions, Life is about choices and consequences. If we choose to be a parent, then we should be ready for the consequences as well. Hopefully we will be a great parent too, if we decide to be one.

Four Seasons

post #404

Hmmm…Last Saturday was really ‘four seasons in one day’ day. Woke up and chatted for a while, then went to mall to meet some friends. Then we went to our Jr High friend’s house that just gave birth to a cute baby girl. There were four of us. We sat, talked about how times flew so fast. We still could remember the days when we were just Jr High students…but now she’s a mommy. We watched in awe as the little baby was lying fast asleep. Mixed emotions came over me. Just like when I visited my sister and held my nephew for the very first time.

I guess we’re all amazed by the fact that the baby girl was a new life brought to this world. She’s a person, a daughter of our friend. In a way it made us feel old. Come to think of it, yeah we’re not kids anymore. We’re not adolescent anymore. We’re adults now. We stayed there for a while, admiring the beauty of the newborn baby. Then my two other friends came and joined us. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay longer because I already had another appointment, so at 3 .15 PM I bid my farewell.
Arrived at Wisma Indocement faster than I had predicted earlier. I came right on time, met S and registered myself. I called V and she said she’s still waiting for R to pick her up. They arrived at around 4.30 PM, right after the opening finished. In the middle of the event, V told me that she thought she saw a friend back from univ, but she wasn’t sure. Then I looked at the person she’s referring to. To my surprise….I knew him. I asked her if the person she meant was DK. She said yes….WOWWWWW what a small world. DK was my high school friend. One of my close friend in fact. She was surprised as well when I told her that I knew him. I was a bit fuzzy for a while, wondering how they could know each other. Then I remembered that DK took the same major with V and that he’s her senior.

Then after the event we met up and talked for a while. DK brought his little sister. Well not so little anymore since she’d be graduating from her medical school in a year. She became a cute girl. The last time I saw her perhaps when I went to DK house sooooo many years ago. She caught my eyes. Anyway we decided to continue our little chit chat and catching up so we went to GI to have dinner together. We ended up buying Korean food, family package for three for me, DK and his siter. While V and L bought pizza bar. We talked and talked. Reminisced my high school times, compared to my Univ times and my working days. There we were. My friends from various phases of my life, sat at the same table. I was a bit overwhelmed at first, trying to compartmentalize and associate different memories from different stages of my life. I was very thrilled to meet DK…honestly I was lazy to come…but God really had something else in mind and there I was, catching up with an old friend, having a splendid time. There were times when our eyes met and I was just struck. It’s like being pierced. Darn…luckily I kept my cool. We weren’t quite finished yet, but it’s already 10.30 PM (time really flew by so fast when you enjoy it). I had to drive V and L home.

After driving the girls home, I went home. While driving home, I couldn’t stop thinking…its four seasons in a day. In a way it shattered the walls I built to separate the stages of my life. But it was great to meet them, it’s like they could see different sides of me. It was one amazing Saturday!

Tak Ada Yang Abadi

posting nomor 403

Sudah lama sekali tidak menulis dengan menggunakan bahasa Indonesia, saya jadi merasa canggung menuangkan pikiran dalam bahasa Indonesia. Entah kenapa di dalam benak saya yang bersliweran justru kata-kata dalam bahasa Inggris.

Hmmm...saya coba mengingat-ingat; Tujuan awal (dan utama) saya membuat blog ini adalah untuk melatih diri saya dalam berbahasa Inggris. Setelah lima tahun, tujuan awal itu tampaknya telah tercapai. Hal ini menjadi salah satu faktor pemicu 'kemalasan' saya dalam menulis. Bulan Maret lalu saya tidak menulis sama sekali. Saya sempat menulis beberapa hal di Facebook, namun tidak disini.

Hal kedua yang tak kalah (atau mungkin justru lebih) penting adalah inspirasi. Tahun-tahun sebelumnya, saya selalu merasa ada begitu banyak pikiran yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini. Ada demikian banyak kejadian dalam hidup yang menggugah saya untuk menulis, untuk mengulasnya dari sudut pandang saya. Tetapi dengan seiring berjalannya waktu, dorongan untuk menulis itu seakan memudar. Mengutip lagunya Rossa.. "Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku...."

Memang benar pepatah yang mengatakan, segala sesuatu ada waktunya. Dahulu saya bisa sedemikian bersemangatnya, menulis beberapa judul dalam satu hari. Minimal satu minggu saya pasti menulis. Namun sekarang, boro-boro sehari, sebulan pun berlalu tanpa goresan tulisan. Hasrat untuk menulis yang memudar ini sempat bersemi sejenak ketika saya membaca blog seorang teman. Dia masih muda, namun dia dapat menuangkan pikirannya dalam blog dengan sungguh menarik. Sayang hal ini tidak berlangsung lama.

Layaknya seniman yang butuh sumber ilham, saya pun butuh sesuatu untuk memberikan inspirasi menulis. Hal ini yang tidak saya punyai saat ini. Ada beberapa ide yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini, namun (seperti yang pernah saya tulis sebelumnya) ada keengganan untuk menulis. Saya berpikir, nanti saja, sedang tak ingin...atau dalam bahasa Inggrisnya, not in the mood.

Itulah inspirasi. Ia dapat datang mengetuk kapan saja, dan ketika saya tidak membuka pintu dan mempersilahkannya masuk, ia berlalu secepat ia datang. Dan saya hanya dapat terdiam, menanti ketukan berikutnya dari sang inspirasi. Dahulu saya dapat menulis tentang apa saja. Bahkan ketika tak ada hal yang tampaknya menarik (setidaknya bagi saya) untuk ditulis, saya menulis semacam jurnal untuk mengabadikan hal-hal yang terjadi dalam hidup saya.

Setajam-tajamnya pikiran, lebih tajam ujung pena.

Hal ini yang saya pegang ketika saya menulis hal-hal tersebut. Ada beberapa hal yang ingin saya simpan, yang pada suatu waktu di kemudian hari dapat saya lihat kembali, untuk mengingatkan saya. Karena saya menyadari, seberapapun kerasnya saya mencoba, ingatan (seperti halnya hasrat menulis) saya akan pudar. Yang dapat saya simpan adalah kesan, perasaan yang saya rasakan terhadap kejadian atau orang tertentu.

Sebenarnya ada banyak sekali hal yang terjadi pada bulan Maret 2010. Yang paling berkesan adalah liburan saya ke Melbourne. Di sana saya sempat merasakan bagaimana menjadi orang tua, walau hanya untuk sekilas.
Tidak ada sekolah yang dapat mempersiapkan seseorang untuk menjadi orang tua.
Tidak ada buku panduan yang dapat dijadikan pegangan mutlak
Tidak ada kumpulan pasal yang mengatur secara baku bagaimana menjadi orang tua yang baik
Hanya ada satu kesamaan mendasar dari semua orang tua.
Semangat memberi sepenuhnya dan cinta yang seakan tak berbatas kepada buah hati

Bila dipikir-pikir, menjadi orang tua pun ada waktunya sendiri. Waktu yang mempersiapkan seseorang, dan kehendak seseorang pula yang membuatnya mengambil keputusan untuk menjadi orang tua (atau tidak).

Hidup....memang rangkaian keputusan, pilihan, dan konsekuensi yang timbul dari pilihan yang diputuskan. Rangkaian ini tidak dapat diputar kembali dan hal inilah yang membuat hidup begitu indah, penuh dengan kemungkinan yang jauh melebihi bayangan kita...namun di lain sisi, menimbulkan kekhawatiran tersendiri....

Bagaimanapun...tidak ada yang abadi kecuali perubahan itu sendiri.
Ingatan memudar
Orang berubah
Hasrat berlalu
Hidup berjalan


Dan tentunya, blog ini pun tak abadi....
Seperti yang tertuang dalam lagu Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi


Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi

Takkan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Takkan selamanya raga ini menjagamu

Seperti alunan detak jantungku
Tak bertahan melawan waktu
Semua keindahan yang memudar
Atau cinta yang telah memudar

Reff:
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi

Biarkan aku bernafas sejenak
Sebelum hilang

Tak kan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Tak kan selamanya raga ini menjagamu
Jiwa yang lama segera pergi
Bersiaplah para pengganti

Reff



tulisan ini didedikasikan untuk seseorang yang telah memberi warna tersendiri dalam hidup saya

Tired Yet Excited

post #402

We did it...We won our 2nd match....Thank You, God....though it took a lot of patience to get there....but we did it....Tired....yet excited...we advanced to the semi final...yeahhhh....Five goals were enough to put me as the top scorer for the moment....I hope I could keep it up...

Though I hadn't been good lately....You really showed that You are the master of universe...You are omnipotent...Thank You...Let this short entry be a reminder of Your Greatness....

Ash Wednesday 2010

post #401

Lent has begun.
...... *blank
Lately I've been feeling tired.....where did this fatigue come?
Not to mention...dulll.....it's like I've lost inspiration to write, hence the last few entries were just basically me scribbling....

Was this an end of an era? Just like now....usually the words just came out by themselves as I typed, but now I have to think about them....what am I gonna write....etc...

Anw....today's the Ash Wednesday in 2010. Marked the beginning of Lent. Attended evening mass @St James church with David...It was WOW....hadn't been there for almost a year since it's renovated and it was fabulous...the giant statue...the 2nd floor....it's very grand....

....Well....God I hope I can make it through this Lent with flying mark....too dull and drowsy to write some more...

CNY 2010

post #400

Happy CNY 2561 to those who celebrates it!

Just a short entry....Had a blast yesterday. Big family gathering...took some pictures, did some catching up....met with cute nephews and nieces....It was fun and refreshing...

Twenty years ago, I was one of them....
Twenty years, seemed like a very distant place, yet time had brought me to the present in blinks of an eye...

Anyway....Happy CNY...May it brings us all prosperity, health, success, and love throughout this year of the Tiger

It happened that this year CNY coincided with Valentine's Day....It's still the same old same old...
so...in the spirit of Tiger and Love....

Cough + Cold

post #399

Cough + Cold...just the 'right combination' to make my day.
As far as I remember, this was the first time I spent my birthday with almost fever body, light head throbbing, cough, and cold....just greattt...

Perhaps I pushed myself too hard on Monday, then continued to work till late yesterday, then went to a friend's house to give a birthday surprise...hence my condition dropped...

But anyway I'd like to reflect....to be grateful for everything that I had, achieved, experienced....years really flew in the speed of light ;p
As I looked in the mirror when I got my hair cut, I saw a quiet, reserved man...he seemed unwell, tired. His eyes told me everything. Then I thought...hmmm...was this the man I had wanted to be?

Hmmm...so many things happened lately that made my head spin, lost in my own train of thoughts.
One thing for sure I'm grateful for who I am...what I have...what I've become...who I have...
Just a little bit more....

Grazie Dio!
Thy Love is my precious treasure.

Nothing Else Matters

post #397

Just a reminder that today, we won our first match against team 4. Quite miraculously I had to say. We're down one person, five vs six persons...We tried to keep up the deficit by pressing and using counter attack. I wasted a golden chance to score, which led to our first goal. The keeper managed to save my shot, hence corner was awarded. From the corner, an own goal was born.

I was being marked intensively by an opponent player. But after the first goal, the pressure was on the team who had more players. Thus they started to attack more...which made some holes on their defense. And I managed to maximize it by scoring a goal...YEAAAHHH!!!!!!

We held on till half time. Two goals lead was something that we weren't really expected. Wowww....We restored our stamina during first half break and then the second half began. I wasn't being marked exclusively and that made me able to score two more goals.....YIPPPIEEE!!!!

I scored a hattrick. Niceee.....although I was tired...I pushed myself...perhaps it's the adrenaline rush which flowed through my veins that shrugged the fatigue aside...for some moments when there were chances....And it was awesome...I converted those chances into two goals...Too bad I wasted few chances...and in the end the opponent managed to score consolation goal.

Nevertheless...we won! 4 -1 was the final score. Five against six, and we won....

The euphoria of scoring....of winning....there's nothing else matters....
Thank You, God...

Hopefully we can play better, get our 6th player...and win the championship....

As for now...I want to lay myself in this bed of euphoria...

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
but I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for things they say
Never cared for games they play
I'd never cared for what they do
I'd never cared for what they know
And I know

Yeah!

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

The World Is Not Enough

post #395

These last two days were full with surprises. Just the other night I learned that her sister was my classmate back in univ. I was like....What the.....????!!!
Of all the girls in this city....I ended up meeting a girl whose sister was my classmate.

Number two...I was chatting with a colleague when she told me about 'bule' guy whom she met at her friend's wedding reception. The bule guy wrote something about her. So I checked her FB account and it just happened that I saw a girl on her profile friend list that looked familiar. I browsed her profile and found out that this girl was a forum member that I joined....it turned out that this cute girl was my colleague's cousin...all this time and I just found out yesterday...lolllzz

Talking about small world, huh??
If I thought about it....really...I think we all are connected, somehow, someway....
The world is just not enough

Garbage - The World Is Not Enough

I know how to hurt
I know how to heal
I know what to show
And what to conceal
I know when to talk
And I know when to touch
No one ever died from wanting too much

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

People like us
Know how to survive
There's no point in living
If you can't feel the life
We know when to kiss
And we know when to kill
If we can't have it all
Then nobody will

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

I feel safe
I feel scared
I feel ready
And yet unprepared
The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

The world is not enough
The world is not enough
No Nowhere near enough,
The world is not enough

Faithful

post #394


I'd like to share today's sermon which I think is good for us to reflect on.

Today's bible reading was taken from John 2:1-12

In short, it's about the wedding in Cana, the one where Jesus made His first miracle, changing water into wine.

Then the pastor started his sermon. He talked about the wedding, which must had been an important event for the family. Then, it turned out that the wine was running out. It couldn't be good.But God gave a helping hand just when it was needed the most. What would have happened if the family really had run out of wine? The guests would have complained, the wedding wouldn't be smooth...okay,perhaps we'd think...it's just a wedding...worst thing that might have happened was it became a lousy, unpopular wedding...it's not like someone's dying..well...the pastor seemed to have more on his mind about this bible reading than just saving the wedding.

Father Yoyon (the pastor name was Sukaryono, we called him Romo Yoyon) continued. He talked about a teacher who had very tight budget. His monthly salary was minimum and based on his calculation, it'd only enough for him and his family for 20 days. No matter how he re-calculated and managed his salary, it'd only be enough for 20 days. But strange thing happened. He didn't know how, but he got through the month, and the following months. Somehow he managed to get through.

Father Yoyon continued more. We too, often worry about our lives. We want to pay the bills, pay the kids tuition, pay for daily needs, etc...these are important things in life. We need them. And sometimes we found that based on our calculation, it seemed that we couldn't afford it. But just like the teacher managed to get through, we somehow manged to get through as well. As for the teacher; where did he manage to survive the remaining 10 days? Well...it's a miracle made by God.

Just like Jesus turned the water into wine at the wedding in Cana....God turned anything in our lives, change it into something that will ensure we live.

Because God is faithful. Because God is the bridegroom and we, the church, are His bride (referring to the first reading from Isaiah 62:1-5). Then Father Yoyon came to the ending of his sermon. He said, though God has always been faithful to us, human; we on the other hand often cheat on Him. We cheat by looking for other sources of power, we cheat in our behavior...and so on.

Father Yoyon ended his sermon by asking a question for us, the parish, to ponder.
This was what he said, "If you had a spouse or someone you really, deeply in love with;Someone that you give your everything. Then you find out that the person cheat on you, what would you feel?"

Imagine what God feels when we cheat on Him...


-----------
My own personal thought...God is faithful, we just have to have faith in Him. Talking about example, I like Kaka, a Brazilian soccer player whose life is far from gossip and scandal. Young people should look him up as a role model, rather than Cristiano Ronaldo.

I hope this note can be a reminder for us all. Honestly I had goosebumps when Father Yoyon said the line in italic above.