Moment of Peace

post #163

Finally, long weekend has arrived. This week has been very hectic and tiring. Got two new units to be developed on Monday morning, but at that time I was making Technical Design for a program that I just finished. So I had to postpone those units.....till today. Lots of work need to be done, little time to do them. But I may say that today was the Last Suffer(ing)....well..at least for this week. Time to recharge my emotional battery. It's a good thing that I have fully recharged my e-battery last Sunday with David, Agus, Bowo n Maria. It's been a while since we went karaoke together. As usual, David and me were the first who arrived at Happy Puppy. We sang few songs n then Agus came. Not so long after that Bowo came woth Maria. Just like so many times before, we sang for three hours. But we only ordered two pitchers of beer, since only David n me who drank it. After that we went to the mall, planning to watch a movie. But unfortunately David forgot to bring his side card, so we ended up eating at a new restaurant, Overrice if I'm not mistaken. But we're still hungry so we ate again at another restaurant.

How many years have it been since we knew each other? We've grown up. We talked about different things now, things we had never imagined we'd be talking about when we're still teenagers. David was still single. We talked about this one and it seemed we have similar reason for being single, though he always encouraged me to find a girl...settle down...if you want you can marry... (quoting Boyzone - Father n Son..lolzzz). Like I have written before, mind is very tricky. I can still remember a dialog in Smallville between Lex n Lionel...

Lex : You've tried so hard to convince the Kents that you're a good person, you're starting to believe your own lies.

Hmmmmm.....Have I convinced my self so hard that I reach a point that I believe that I don't need a girl? Is it because my faith in the institution called marriage begin to fade? Am I being too skeptical? Or have I been alone too long in this Fortress of Solitude that I unconsciously block all possibilities to have a relationship? There're some who have given me this warm fuzzy feelings.....but maybe I have this syndrom like Robbie William's song, Feel....'before I fall in love, I'm preparing to leave her'. If you ask me, "Do you want a girl?" I'd say yes. But if you ask me, "Do you need a girl?" I dunno.... There's not much that I can offer and it won't be fair to expect more in return from the girl.

Tal Bachman - She's So High

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah

(Chorus):
'Cause she's so high...
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high...
High above me

First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me
Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother?

(Repeat Chorus)

She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

(Repeat Chorus)

All of these are maybe this...maybe that....Why is it so complicated.....Can love be simple? But again....what is love ?

"..I wanna hold your hand like this and never let go....."

Reminds me of Jay Chou's song Jian Dan Ai (Simple Love)....One of my (very)favorite song...


簡單愛
Jian Dan Ai
Simple Love


曲: 周杰倫
Qu: Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

词: 徐若瑄
Ci: Xu Ruo Xuan
Lyrics: Vivian Hsu


說不上為什麼
shuo bu shang wei shen me
Couldn’t really say why

我變得很主動
wo bian de hen zhu dong
I became very initiative-taking

若愛上一個人 / 什麼都會值得去做
re ai shang yi ge ren / shen me dou hui zhi de qu zuo
If you fall in love with someone, anything is worth doing

Pre Chorus
我想大聲宣佈
wo xiang da sheng shun bu
I want to announce loudly

對妳依依不捨
dui ni yi yi bu she
That I can’t bear to be apart from you

連隔壁鄰居都猜到我現在的感受
lian ge bi ling ju dou cai dao wo xian zai de gan shao
Even my next door neighbors can guess my feelings right now


Chorus 1
河邊 / 的風 / 在吹著頭髮/ 飄動
he bian / de feng / zai chui zhe tou fa / piao dong
The breeze by the river, is blowing your hair, swaying

牽著 / 妳的/ 手一陣莫名/ 感動
qian zhe / ni de / shou yi zhen mo ming / gan dong
Holding your hand, a sense of unknowingly being touched

我想帶妳回我的外婆家
wo xiang dai ni hui wo de wai po jia
I want to take you to my grandma’s home

一起 / 看著日落 / 一直到我們都睡著
yi qi / kan zhe ri luo / yi zhi dao wo men dou shui jiao
Watching the sunset together until we fall asleep


Chorus 2
我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou bu fang kai
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

愛能不能夠永遠單純沒有悲哀
ai neng bu neng gou yung yuan dan chun mei you bei ai
Can love be forever innocent without sadness

我 想帶妳騎單車
wo, xiang dai ni qi dan che
I want to take you bike-riding

我 想和妳看棒球
wo, xiang he ni kan bang qiu
I want to watch baseball with you

想這樣沒擔憂 唱著歌 一直走
xiang zhe yang mei dan you chang zhe ge yi zhi zou
Want to be like this with no worries, singing as we walk along

我想就這樣牽著妳的手不放開
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian zhe ni de shou be fang kai
I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go

愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害
ai ke bu ke yi jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai
Can love be simple without pain

妳 靠著我的肩膀
ni, kao zhe wo de jian pang
You leaning on my shoulder

妳 在我胸口睡著
ni, zai wo xiong kou shui jiao
You sleeping on my chest

像這樣的生活 我愛妳 妳愛我
xiang zhe yang de sheng huo wo ai ni, ni ai wo
Like this kind of life, I love you, you love me

想 簡！簡！單！單！ 愛
xiang! Jian! Jian! Dan! dan! Ai...
Want simple simple love!

想 簡！簡！單！單！ 愛
xiang! Jian! Jian! Dan! dan! Ai...
Want simple simple love!

Repeat Pre-Chorus
Repeat Chorus 1
Repeat Chorus 2
Repeat Chorus 2


I wish it were that simple..... or am I being too rational? Ignoring my heart.......There's a song by Patty Smyth....
"..And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust....
And its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch..."
Have I started to become untouchable....?


Patty Smyth - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

I dont wanna lose you,
I dont wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I dont wanna hate you
I dont wanna take you
But I dont wanna be the one to cry
That dont really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

Now I could never change you
I dont wanna blame you
Baby you dont have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

And theres no way home
When its late at night and youre all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch.
Theres a reason why people dont stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just aint enough.
Baby sometimes love just aint enough.


Yeahhh...love is never enough.....
My mind has really been a mess this week...but today, I'm having a moment of peace.... This Gregorian song is very soothing...their songs are very good...Well, I'm gonna enjoy this moment of peace.....relinquish this Last Suffer(ing).....on this Thursday evening....when Jesus had His Last Supper with His disciples.......


Gregorian - Moment of Peace

Mm Mm Mm Mm Mm
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

In moment of peace

Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah

(Chorus)

Come now, come by our side,
Into a place where you can hide,
We are the sunshine,
Rest your Soul here,
And you'll find,
We are the energy,
We give the world to thee,
Hold up your heart now,
We will ease pain from your brow.

(Sarah Brightman)
When the world is in tatters,
And destruction is near,
You can come with us here.

When the people are strangers,
We will rest here and be,
In a moment of peace.

When the world is in tatters,
And destruction is near,
You can come with us here.

When the people are strangers,
We will rest here and be,
In a moment of peace.

(Chorus)

Light up the dark below,
See through the stars,
Reach to the earth's flow
Drift into the joy of our hearts,
Unleash the energy,
Taste of the wine,
Drink as a Soul,
That knows now, power divine.

When the world is in tatters,
And destruction is near,
You can come with us here.

When the people are strangers,
We will rest here and be,
In a moment of peace.

When the world is in tatters,
And destruction is near,
You can come with us here.

When the people are strangers,
We will rest here and be,
In a moment of peace.

In a moment of peace.

Palm Sunday

post #162


"Kristus Raja...Kristus Mulia...Kristus...Kristus Tuhan kita...."

That's the line I kept singing on the procession of today's Palm Sunday. I forgot how many years it has been since the last time I participate in the procession. I think I got lazy on the last few years. Maybe because my mass schedule was usually on saturday afternoon (what a lame excuse...lol). Walking along with the other parish members, I remembered hansel's question, "How's your lent going?" "What do you give up this lent?" I couldn't answer these questions right away coz I don't think this year is better than last year. So I said plain. Then hansel said that he/she also didn't grow a new leaf. Dunno if the things I give up this lent are quite significant in the process of being a better person. It seems like I give up the same things, just like last year. Then the question will be, what's the use? Giving up the same things, failing to keep one some things....

I remembered on last monday I attended this prayer gathering for young professionals. Ko Riko talked about sucess. What is the main obstacle that keeps us from being success? It's none other than fear. Yes, the biggest obstacle of success is fear of failing. Once we have this fear and don't overcome it, we will never be success. Coz we'll never even have the courage to take the first step, to try, to fail, to reflect, to try again after failing. The possibility of failing is so scary for us that it paralyzes us. We have to be dare to fail. Of course dare in this term is also realizing our ability, our potential. What do we have that can help us achieving our dreams (he used the term our calling that God has put in the depths of our heart).

We have to open ourselves to a new perspective. We all fail. Human fail. There's no one in this world who hasn't failed. We're all faces of failure. Then he took an example from the bible. Both Peter and Judas failed Christ. Peter the brave denied Him three times and Judas exchanged Him for money. But the difference was, Peter didn't lock himself in the closet after failing, he didn't become desperate. While Judas so desperate in failing his teacher, he ended his life. Peter set the difference that made him the first pope. Even Jesus failed (He fell three times on his way to Golgotha). But He always stood and walked again.

Soichiro Honda said that success can only be achieved through series of repeated failure and introspection. I think the keyword here beside daring to fail is introspection. Failure is normal, but without introspection, we will end up making the same mistakes, falling into the same hole over and over again. Each time we fail we should examine it, take lessons from it as our life experience so we'll evolve. I hope by writing this journal I also doing this introspection part, to be a better man. Easter message...There's always a better tomorrow, we just have to have the courage to embrace it.

Robbie Williams - Better Man

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

*chorus
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man.....

Pursuit of Happiness

post #161


"And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it."

I took this quote from Will Smith's line in Pursuit of Happyness. I watched it last sunday with Lia, after we had had a lunch. It was a very good movie. Boring to some who doesn't like lot's of dialog movie, but to me it had an interesting storyline.

Hearing Will Smith said that made me thinking. Was it true? No one can actually have happiness? If it's true, then life will be very empty I suppose. I believe that happiness is a state of mind (not merely though). It's not a place/location or something to be/get. But I'm not that naive, I'm a realist too. How can we be happy if we don't have anything (financially speaking). This 'happy' state of mind will be washed away with bad emotions, and even in the process I believe we're not happy anymore since we already have that negative emotions.

So...Are You Happy Now?



Michelle Branch - Are You Happy Now?

Now, don't just walk away
pretending everything's okay and you don't care about me.
and I know it's just no use
when all your lies become your truths and i don't care yeah yeah yeah

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now oooooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
and left me with an empty plate and you don't care about it, yeah.
And I am giving up this game,
and leaving you with all the blame, cause I don't care yeah, yeah, yeah

(chorus; Are you happy now x2)

Yeah, yeah do you really have everything you want.
You could never give something you ain't got,
you can't run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now yeah, yeah
Come on tell it to my face or have I been replaced,
are you happy now yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ohh, ohh, oh oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ohh oh.
would you look me in the eye,
could you look me in the eye.
I've had all that i can take i'm not about to break cause I'm happy now ooh

Are you happy now?

Irresistible Ipod

post # 160

When I saw this pic on a forum, I instantly wanted to buy an ipod....
I'd definitely buy an ipod.....if it comes with this kind of package... ;p *drooling... lolzzz...


Speaking of things I want to buy...Here's my wish list:
1. Cell Phone
2. Digicam
3. Flash Disk (min 4GB)
4. Laptop
5. 2.5" HDD
It'll sure cost a lot and there's no ipod on the list, but I think I can squeeze it in if there's an interesting offer...like the pic above... ;D

Yearning Room

post #159

I listened to this song few days ago on the radio. I remembered that I read about this song in a friend of mine's blog. But then I forgot about it, until I heard it again, on the radio. I liked it instantly. Mellow...Slow...Melancholic...

Then I searched it on the internet, got it from a beautiful girl's multiply. When I wandered around her multiply, I was surprised. Wow........she's a top quality girl.

This song reminded me of my chat sessions....We're only able to meet in that yearning room...


Letto - Ruang Rindu

Di daunnya ikut, mengalir lembut
terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada

Jalanku hampa dan ku sentuh dia
terasa hangat oh didalam hati
kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi

Tak pernah ku ragu dan slalu kuingat
kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
kusaat itu takut, mencari makna
tumbuhkan rasa yang sesakkan dada

Kau datang dan pergi, oh begitu saja
semua kuterima, apa adanya
mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
di ruang rindu, kita bertemu

Funtastic Vegas

post #158

What a weekend. Had my 2nd community gathering last saturday and it was a blast. Very exhausting, yet exciting day. Playing badminton in the morning after a long time, seeing the computer and digital camera exhibition after that. Went home to get myself ready for the community gathering which had theme 'Funtastic Vegas'. It took place at Djakarta Theatre. Very cozy place and I was very fortunate to have be Rafaela's escort. Picked her up at 6 PM and I was stunned when I saw her.

She looked even more beautiful than the last time I'd seen her. The last time I saw her was when we ate dim sum at Mangga Dua Square and it was months ago. She wore a black skirt with gold top which accentuated her legs. She had nice legs. So we went to the event, arrived there at about five minutes past 7. There was a photographer who took some pics of us. Going to the event with Rafaela was really a treat. Sulis even asked me who's the girl I was with. I had to admit that going with Rafaela

The event itself was great. Just like the theme, Funtastic Vegas, there in the room there were some tables for us to gamble. Just like a casino. We're even given some coins to gamble. The dealers were some pretty girls. There's a band singing along all through the event, some performance and the MCs were quite famous though I didn't know them. I tried the Amrerican Roulette, the dart game, and the wheel of fortune. I liked the wheel of fortune coz it was my gold mine. I got a voucher for winning there. And to my surprise I was named the 3rd biggest casino winner, though I was sure there are other who won much more than me. Our short movie as new joiner was showed and it was very hilarous watching it with the rest of Accenture employee. The event ended at around 11.30 PM. Had few glasses of beer then Rafaela told me that Andya wanted to go to X2, the new club at PS and he invited us to come along.

So we went to X2. It was very crowded. It was good, the sound system was terrific and lots of pretty girls too there...lolz. Didn't stay very long there, I drove Rafaela back to her place and then went home.

Updated today...The voucher that I won from the 'casino' worthed 700K, plus the other voucher that I got, the total was 1M. Wowwwww.......Thank you Lord

Untuk Dikenang

post #156

Another week has passed. This time last week I was still on Happy Puppy La Piazza, singing with my friends after eating at Churrasco. It's been another year since we all got together, hangin around. I met her once again. She's always looked lovely. We gathered at A&W MKG II at first, but David was still working. I tried to reach him but his cell phone was out of coverage. Then I called Bowo, he was at Krispy Kreme w Maria. I went there and no too long after that David finished his work and we went to A&W.

I met Dovan after so many years. I think the last time I saw him was on our Jr High School graduation. He was my rival back in Jr High. Dovan, David, Winy n Me always tried to be the first who come to school. Sometimes we even came too early n the gate was still closed. Then we either waited at 'warteg' near school or we climbed the gate(Winy never climbed the gate since she always arrived after the gate was opened). Once we're inside, we played basketball and made ourself soaked with sweats. Then we're ready to study. Remembering that times, I'm amazed that we can still be studying with our body soaked by sweat. Dovan hasn't changed. He still looked the same, n he didn't look as tall as he'd been back in Jr High school. I outgrew him... *big grin.

Hmmm...there were 13 people came. Me, David, Wendy, Winy, Agus, Bowo, Maria, Yuni, Vero, Ryan, Dovan, Victor, Mansiong. We spent almost 3 hours at Churrasco. The level of service there wasn't exactly like what I'd been expecting. Before we decided to eat at Churrasco I coincidentally met Lia. It was unexpected. We were walking down at MKG III Food Court when I saw a familiar face. My brain quickly processed the data I received and I recognized her. But she was walking down. So I told David etc that I'd catch up with them. Since I wasn't sure and to save me from humiliation if I was wrong, I called her cellphone. And that girl who's on the escalator answering her cellphone. I was right. She was Lia. She was very very surprised when I said that I knew that she was at Gadink coz I was standing right behind her. We talked for a while. She was just finished eating with her friends. Then I went back to Gokana Teppan, but the place was full so we ended up at Churrasco.

After that we went karaoke at Happy Puppy for three hours. We had so much fun there. One of song that I sang was Jikustik - Untuk Dikenang. Yeahh...all those memories....my fading admiration toward her......"barisan puisi ini...adalah yang aku punya....mungkin akan kau lupakan...atau untuk dikenang..."


Jikustik - Untuk Dikenang

Ingat aku, saat kau lewati
Jalan ini, setapak berbatu
Kenang aku, bila kau dengarkan
Lagu ini, terlantun perlahan

Reff:
Barisan puisi ini
Adalah yang aku punya
Mungkin akan kau lupakan
Atau untuk dikenang

Ingat aku bila kau terasing
Dalam gelap keramaian kota

Reff:
Tulisan dariku ini
Mencoba mengabadikan
Mungkin akan kau lupakan
Atau untuk dikenang

Doakanlah aku malam ini
Sebelum kau, mengarungi malam


Tulisan dariku ini
Mencoba mengabadikan
Yang mungkin kan kau lupakan
Atau untuk dikenang
Untuk dikenang