Feelings

post #347


Just got Tyra B - Givin Me A Rush MP3 last nite. After quite some time searching for it. It's one of few songs that I instantly like...Well Ock Ju Hyun - Honey was an exception as well. Just like Honey, I didn't remember exactly how I managed to stumble to Tyra's song. I remembered I was wandering in the Youtube land...then I watched a clip which background song was this song.

Anyway that's not the main idea I have for this entry. This entry, as its titled...was about feelings. Lately I've been digging into TV serials again, after quite hibernation period...last weekend I watched Gossip Girl S02E23 and in one of the scene, there was this dialog between Chuck n Blair. *Have I told you that some of my inspirations came from TV serials, movie, or songs that I watched/listened to?

In the scene, Blair was asking Chuck for a clarification...about his feelings for her. Nate asked her to move in with him (since he was feeling a bit insecure seeing Blair spend quite a lot of time with Chuck)...but Blair needed to be sure about this...about her and Nate...about her and Chuck...Because she felt that after she decided to move on with Nate...Chuck seemed to do about anything to be able to spend time with her. It's like he's not willing to let her go... *It all revolved around feelings, huh? ;D

Blair: Wow, that's the first true laugh I've gotten out of you in a while *after Chuck offered her a coctail
Chuck: Listen, Blair
Blair: No...me first. Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer.
Chuck: I heard.
Blair: Don't you wanna know what's stopping me? (Chuck looked at her intensely) I can't answer his question while I'm waiting for you to answer mine. The one I asked you forever ago...What are we, Chuck?
Chuck: Blair...
Blair: (Interrupted Chuck) Last fall you said we couldn't be together. And I believed you. But everytime I try to move one, you're right there..acting like...
Chuck: Acting like what?
Blair: Like..... (pause) maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are
Chuck: I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy
Blair: Then look down deep into the soul I know you have and tell me if what you feel for me is real or if it's just a game. If it's real....we'll figure it out..all of us. But if it's not...then please Chuck, just let me go...(Blair eyes were watery)
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you (rushing to go)
Serena walked in to Chuck.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her....and I can't make her happy.

Again I'd like to give a thumb up for the music. The instrumental really built the sad nuance in the dialog.

Feelings....
There are sayings, If you really love someone, you gotta set that person free...your love should be unconditional....there are also saying love should be fight for. Why letting go so easily if the one you love is worth the fight?

Like it or not...the older we get...the more logical and less emotional we become. Not as pure as a child, in terms of showing our feelings. Why? Because the world we live in demanded us to. Not only that...but (again I think I have said it before) feelings/emotions can also not always good to be used a based in decision making. Balance between these two is the ideal...but we cannot have it all the time, right?

Quoting Blair,
Feelings never do. They get you all confused. Then they drove around for hours until they drop you right back to where you started.

This where the good common sense comes into play. In Chuck's case....perhaps he'd rather to see Blair happy...though he may not be the one who stand beside her. At the end...it comes to your own experience, judgment, and choice to make.

Maybe it's just my weakness, to see you happy, with or without me
Maybe it's just a feeling I have


Breeze - Just A Feeling

Just a feeling I have,just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
And if you love somebody else,
Will you still pretend you're mine?
Would you leave me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Sometimes I lie awake while your are sleeping
I think of all the things that we've been through
I can't deny suspicious minds,
seeing things that don't exist
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

It doesn't feel the same the way you hold me.
Sometimes you turn away when I kiss your lips.
And if you love somebody else,
will you still pretend you're mine.
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling i have.

Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

There are times when words can take new meaning
And all the sweetest things can sound the same
And there are thousand ways to say goodbye I haven't heard
Would you tell me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have.
And if you love somebody else,
will you still pretend you're mine.
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have
Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Gadgets Wishlist

post #346

Every now and then I'd like to compile a wish list for gadgets that I drool want to have. Two days ago I was surprised to read that Nokia announced a new E series cellphone, E52. It's quite an enhancement to E51, my currently lovely cellphone. Well...without further ado, here's the list

1. Nokia E52
Some things that are enhanced from E51 :
- 'Bigger' screen (2.4" compared to 2")
- 'Bigger' camera resolution (3MP compared to 2MP).. the camera still used fixed focus though, so do not expect the pictures quality will be improved much
- Slimmer (9.9 mm compared to 12 mm)
- 3.5 mm jack (yipppieeeeee)...I can use my sennheiser
- Secondary camera for video call... Nice improvement
- Faster clock processor (600MHz compared t 369MHz)
- Accelerometer
- Longer battery life

Full comparison can be seen here: GSM Arena


Hmmm......this is interesting since I think BB is overrated and E series support push email for Exchange and Lotus Notes...nice...It'd be very nice if there's enhancement for E71...namely E72 perhaps? :D:D:D
In short...this cellphone is worth the consideration



2. Sony Vaio TT
If I have a couple of thousand dollars to be spent, I'd surely go for this baby.
11.1" display with only over 1kgs of weight...bye bye netbook...This baby has enough (more than) enough horse power to do multitask...2 USB ports, 1 HDMI port, optional Blu Ray drive....WOWWWW...talking about spec *drool....
Too bad with such features (plus beautiful design)...comes a lot of money needed...This baby is priced starting from US$ 1999..... about four times of a netbook price which usually falls under US$500. Welll...there's a saying, quality comes with a price...






3. Digicam

Since my current digicam is very very old (four years is old for a gadget, right?). Its resolution only 3MP...Heck there are cellphone that boasts 8MP camera...though the image quality is still in question. But still I think I need to upgrade my digicam, remembering it'll be useful for my upcoming holiday. There are candidates that I have laid my eyes on lately. They are:

- Panasonic Lumix TZ7
10 MP, HD recording, 12x optical zoom
Price as of today @ jpckemang is :
Rp 4.795.000 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (w/SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp 4.479.900 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (Without SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp. 4,480,000 @ tokocamzone


- Panasonic Lumix TS1
12MP, HD Recording, 4.6x optical zoom, water resistant to 3M
Price as of today @ jpckemang is:
Rp 4.765.000 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (w/SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp 4.449.900 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (Without SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp. 4,450,000 @ tokocamzone


- Nikon Coolpix S560
10MP, 5x optical zoom
Price as of today @jpckemang:

Rp. 2,900,000 @tokocamzone


- Nikon Coolpix S630
12MP, 7x optical zoom
Rp 3.969.900 @jpckemang:
Rp. 3,970,000 @tokocamzone


Comparison of them: DPReview

It's okay if you choose to leave me, honey

post #345

Forgot exactly what did I do last nite, but somehow I stumbled to this song by Ock Ju Hyun. It's not everyday that I'd like a song immediately,esp Korean, which language I don't understand. But there's something in the beat, the melody, Ju Hyun's face and voice (ahhh she's beautiful), plus some of the words that were in English that intrigued me.

So today I finally managed to get the MP3, translated version of the music video, and the lyric (in both Korean and English)...talking about determination, huh? :D

It's okay if you choose to leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

What's with the mellow, ballad songs?

Credit to ix3sk8rboiz @ soompi.com for the lyric and English translation


Ock Ju Hyun - Honey

genchanahyo~ geu-deh-ga nahl, ttuh-nah-ga-doh
genchanahyo, heng-bohk-keh-yoh, geu-deh man-eun~
sooreh chee-han-cheh-roh, negeh jun-hwa heht jyo
mee-yahn hah-dan mahl-ha-myuh, ool-goh-eessuht-jyo
soh-ree-reul jeel-lyuht-jyo, joo-jyuh ahn-koh-maraht jyo
joon-bee-do moht-heht-dun ee-byul-eh nan

I can't breathe I can't breathe
Geu-dehl jah-bah-doh, soh-yong-ubb-jyo
Tteu-guh-oon mah-eum-ee, cha-gahb-kkeh byun-heh-suh
Boot-jabah-doh dorah-ohl-soon ubb-jah-nah
genchanayo geu-deh-gah nahl ttuh-nagado
genchanayo, saranghehyo, nahl-ttuh-nah-do
nahn, nahn, genchanayo

I say goodbye
ee-jeh-wah-suh uh-ttuhk-keh-yo
nah-tteh-mooneh, ool-jee-mah-yo~
han-bun-man, nahl poom-eh~ ana-jwuh~

TV-reul kyuh-bwah-do, radio teu-ruh-do
ee-byureh jang-myun-kwa~ ee-byureh noreh-ppoon
geu-deh-gah sun-mool-han~ hwah-boon-do da buh-ryut-jyo~
seh sahl-doht-tteut-geu-deh seng-gahk-nahl kkah-bwah

I can't breathe I can't breathe
soom joh-cha, moht-sheel-guht-mahn gatah
joh-gahk-nan-guht-chuh-rum, kkeh-jeen yoori churum,
neh mah-eum-do, buh-ryuh-yah-mahn hah-nah-yo~
genchanayo~ geu-deh-gah nahl~ ttuh-nah-gado
genchanayo, saranghehyo, nahl-ttuh-nah-do
nahn, nahn, genchanayo~

I say goodbye
Ee-jen wah-suh, uh-dduk-keh-yo
nah-tteh-mooneh, ool-jee-mah-yo~
han-bun-mahn, nahl poom-eh~ anah-jwuh~ oh~

uh-dduk-ha-jyo, geu-deh-ubbsheen, guhbee-nah-yo~
han-bun-man-duh, seng-gahk-keh-yo, ah-nee-rah-do~ nan~
heng-bohk-keh yo, geu-deh-mahn-eun


Ock Ju Hyun - Honey (English translation)

It's okay if you leave me
It's okay as long as you're happy
You called me while you were drunk
You cried while telling me you were sorry
I yelled, and I spoke in this crumpled position
I'm not even prepared for this separation yet

I can't breathe I can't breathe
It won't matter if I held on
Because your passionate heart grew cold
Even if I held you tight, you won't come back
It's okay if you leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

Even when I turn the tv on, or listen to the radio
I only see love scenes and hear love songs related to our parting
The flowerpot you gave me as a gift, I threw it away
In case I'd think of you again while starting anew

I can't breathe I can't breathe
I don't think I could take another breath
Like something that's been shredded pieces,
like glass that's been shattered
Must I also dispose of my heart as well?
It's okay if you choose to leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

What should I do, without you I'm afraid
Think it over one last time,
and even then if it's still a no~ I'm...

I'm okay
If you choose to leave me
As long as you're happy

credit: ix3sk8rboiz @ soompi.com

Before It's Too Late

post #344

What do I want in my life?
What do I need in my life?
What do we need in our lives?

Goo Goo Dolls said it in simple line, which was very deep I think...
"Live like you mean it, love 'till you feel it...A life you don't live is still lost"

So hold on, before it's too late...

This song was actually quite old, almost two years since it's released. It's the soundtrack for Transformers. It's wonderful ballad with great lyric. Enjoy!

Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's Too Late

I wonder through fiction
To look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
I stood at a distance to feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

Now the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don’t live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it’s gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
And love til you feel it
It’s all that we need in our lives
Stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
nothing is real til its gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that I need in my life

The Good Shepherd

post #343

The pastor gave an interesting sermon last Sunday afternoon. I was quite busy on Saturday due the training (so was my excuse ;D) so I decided to attend the mass on Sunday. On Sunday morning, I was still a bit sleepy n lazy...n I didn't want to make going to the church just some kind of meaningless routine, so I continued my sleep and went in the afternoon.

It was the forth week of Easter, the readings were taken from Acts 4:8-12, 1 John 3:1-2, and John 10:11-18. The bible was about the good shepherd. God is the good shepherd, and pastors were given the same task to herd the sheep.

The sermon was started with a bit illustration about the number of pastor compared to parish in the city. It's not ideal enough. What if there's no regeneration, and the current pastors are getting old? Who will replace them if no one is willing to make that vow of celibacy?

The pastor then talked about his calling. How he wanted to be a pastor since he was in kindergarten. He was amazed by a pastor he saw, in Eucharist, when the pastor spread his arms....he said that the pastor looked so noble. Then when he was in 3rd year of elementary school, he said to his father that he wanted to be a pastor. Time went by and it made him forget his own words. When he was at 3rd year of Jr. High, he was a naughty student (so did hey say) btw...his father asked him about his intention to be a pastor, did he still want to be one. He answered yes, but didn't actually mean it.

But still...he turned out to be a pastor. Then he continued his sermon with asking the parish, who wanted to be a pastor, or sister, or live in a monastery? Or perhaps let their children become one? Anyone who's willing were welcomed to raise their hands....guess what, nobody did. Then he elaborated more about the reasons why we were reluctant to give ourselves in more special way (by being a pastor, etc) to God. We're afraid that we'd lose our freedom, since if we become a pastor, we cannot have a wife, have a family, to feel love.

But he said that it was a wrong perception. Pastor is not a robot, he's a person who can feel love as well. In fact, it's a must so he can love his the parish he's assigned to. Yeah there are some things that he has to sacrificed....but who doesn't make any sacrifices in this world? Who's really free? Married man, a family man has an obligation to his family.

The point (I think) of his sermon was that we all have our calling and that calling needs to be nurtured. Whatever our calling is, accept it...hopefully there'll be enough pastor...not only for the archdiocese, but also for other regions, esp the ones where the parish can only celebrate Eucharist once a year, or maybe once every two years. We should consider ourselves lucky to live in the big city where we can choose which mass at which church to attend. It's very convenient.

It's such a shame for us who have the privilege but take it for granted while there are so many people out there who long for it....

So...I'd like to pray for the regeneration and continuity of the shepherd...and may they really inspired by the one and only, true role model of a good shepherd...
May this one voice heard...well, at least the pastor's voice (when he was at kindergarten) was heard ;)

Billy Gilman - One Voice

Some kids have and some don't
And some of us are wondering why
Mom won't watch the news at night
There's too much stuff that's making her cry
We need some help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

A house, a yard, a neighborhood
Where you can ride your new bike to school
A kind of world where Mom and dad
Still believe in the golden rule
Life's not that simple
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

One voice, one simple word
Hearts know what to say
One dream can change the world
Keep believing
Till you find a way

Yesterday while walking home
I saw some kid on newberry road
He pulled a pistol from his bag
And tossed it in the river below
Thanks for the help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard
One voice was heard
One voice was heard

If You Asked Me To

post #342

Perhaps...I've been trying so hard...too hard to reach...

Celine Dion - If You Asked Me To

Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said I'd never let nobody in

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to

Somehow ever since I've been around you
Can't go back to being on my own
Can't help feeling darling since I've found you
That I've found my home
That I'm finally home
I said I'd never let nobody get too close to me darlin'
I said I needed, needed to be free

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you...

Ask me to, I will give my world to you baby
I need you now
Ask me to and I'll do anything for you baby, for you baby

(If you asked me to...)

I'll let you in my life forever

(If you asked me to...)

All ya gotta do is ask me to
All ya gotta do
All ya gotta do
All you gotta do, is ask me to
I'll give you my world
I'll give you my world
Everything, everything baby.

Just ask me to

If you asked me to
I'd change my mind
I'll change my mind

Cool Breeze

post #341

It's been a while since the last time I saw you...since then I hadn't thought about you, not that I wanted to...but because I think it's what's best for us. I thought feelings would fade away in time. Yeah that's true....but perhaps on some cases, it took more time....much more than I had predicted.

It's just....when I saw you again...that nite...not that I fell again for you...or did I(?)...but seeing you gave my heart a little jump, made me like that adolescent boy who would probably give anything to be there beside you for just a little bit more....it's such a cool breeze which would make me I a liar if I refused to admit. I didn't know what that was...I didn't know what that mean...I didn't know how to think, to act, but I was sure I was pretty clumsy...I just know that it's what I felt...

It's like the sound of leaves that whisper to my ear, calling out your name ever so softly...


Hijau Daun - Suara (Ku Berharap)

Disini aku masih sendiri
Merenungi hari-hari sepi
Aku tanpamu
Masih tanpamu

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Meski tanpamu meski tanpamu

Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
Mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini
Ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
Di tempat ini aku bertahan

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