World Clock

Monday, April 05, 2010

Tak Ada Yang Abadi

posting nomor 403

Sudah lama sekali tidak menulis dengan menggunakan bahasa Indonesia, saya jadi merasa canggung menuangkan pikiran dalam bahasa Indonesia. Entah kenapa di dalam benak saya yang bersliweran justru kata-kata dalam bahasa Inggris.

Hmmm...saya coba mengingat-ingat; Tujuan awal (dan utama) saya membuat blog ini adalah untuk melatih diri saya dalam berbahasa Inggris. Setelah lima tahun, tujuan awal itu tampaknya telah tercapai. Hal ini menjadi salah satu faktor pemicu 'kemalasan' saya dalam menulis. Bulan Maret lalu saya tidak menulis sama sekali. Saya sempat menulis beberapa hal di Facebook, namun tidak disini.

Hal kedua yang tak kalah (atau mungkin justru lebih) penting adalah inspirasi. Tahun-tahun sebelumnya, saya selalu merasa ada begitu banyak pikiran yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini. Ada demikian banyak kejadian dalam hidup yang menggugah saya untuk menulis, untuk mengulasnya dari sudut pandang saya. Tetapi dengan seiring berjalannya waktu, dorongan untuk menulis itu seakan memudar. Mengutip lagunya Rossa.. "Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku...."

Memang benar pepatah yang mengatakan, segala sesuatu ada waktunya. Dahulu saya bisa sedemikian bersemangatnya, menulis beberapa judul dalam satu hari. Minimal satu minggu saya pasti menulis. Namun sekarang, boro-boro sehari, sebulan pun berlalu tanpa goresan tulisan. Hasrat untuk menulis yang memudar ini sempat bersemi sejenak ketika saya membaca blog seorang teman. Dia masih muda, namun dia dapat menuangkan pikirannya dalam blog dengan sungguh menarik. Sayang hal ini tidak berlangsung lama.

Layaknya seniman yang butuh sumber ilham, saya pun butuh sesuatu untuk memberikan inspirasi menulis. Hal ini yang tidak saya punyai saat ini. Ada beberapa ide yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini, namun (seperti yang pernah saya tulis sebelumnya) ada keengganan untuk menulis. Saya berpikir, nanti saja, sedang tak ingin...atau dalam bahasa Inggrisnya, not in the mood.

Itulah inspirasi. Ia dapat datang mengetuk kapan saja, dan ketika saya tidak membuka pintu dan mempersilahkannya masuk, ia berlalu secepat ia datang. Dan saya hanya dapat terdiam, menanti ketukan berikutnya dari sang inspirasi. Dahulu saya dapat menulis tentang apa saja. Bahkan ketika tak ada hal yang tampaknya menarik (setidaknya bagi saya) untuk ditulis, saya menulis semacam jurnal untuk mengabadikan hal-hal yang terjadi dalam hidup saya.

Setajam-tajamnya pikiran, lebih tajam ujung pena.

Hal ini yang saya pegang ketika saya menulis hal-hal tersebut. Ada beberapa hal yang ingin saya simpan, yang pada suatu waktu di kemudian hari dapat saya lihat kembali, untuk mengingatkan saya. Karena saya menyadari, seberapapun kerasnya saya mencoba, ingatan (seperti halnya hasrat menulis) saya akan pudar. Yang dapat saya simpan adalah kesan, perasaan yang saya rasakan terhadap kejadian atau orang tertentu.

Sebenarnya ada banyak sekali hal yang terjadi pada bulan Maret 2010. Yang paling berkesan adalah liburan saya ke Melbourne. Di sana saya sempat merasakan bagaimana menjadi orang tua, walau hanya untuk sekilas.
Tidak ada sekolah yang dapat mempersiapkan seseorang untuk menjadi orang tua.
Tidak ada buku panduan yang dapat dijadikan pegangan mutlak
Tidak ada kumpulan pasal yang mengatur secara baku bagaimana menjadi orang tua yang baik
Hanya ada satu kesamaan mendasar dari semua orang tua.
Semangat memberi sepenuhnya dan cinta yang seakan tak berbatas kepada buah hati

Bila dipikir-pikir, menjadi orang tua pun ada waktunya sendiri. Waktu yang mempersiapkan seseorang, dan kehendak seseorang pula yang membuatnya mengambil keputusan untuk menjadi orang tua (atau tidak).

Hidup....memang rangkaian keputusan, pilihan, dan konsekuensi yang timbul dari pilihan yang diputuskan. Rangkaian ini tidak dapat diputar kembali dan hal inilah yang membuat hidup begitu indah, penuh dengan kemungkinan yang jauh melebihi bayangan kita...namun di lain sisi, menimbulkan kekhawatiran tersendiri....

Bagaimanapun...tidak ada yang abadi kecuali perubahan itu sendiri.
Ingatan memudar
Orang berubah
Hasrat berlalu
Hidup berjalan


Dan tentunya, blog ini pun tak abadi....
Seperti yang tertuang dalam lagu Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi


Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi

Takkan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Takkan selamanya raga ini menjagamu

Seperti alunan detak jantungku
Tak bertahan melawan waktu
Semua keindahan yang memudar
Atau cinta yang telah memudar

Reff:
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi

Biarkan aku bernafas sejenak
Sebelum hilang

Tak kan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Tak kan selamanya raga ini menjagamu
Jiwa yang lama segera pergi
Bersiaplah para pengganti

Reff



tulisan ini didedikasikan untuk seseorang yang telah memberi warna tersendiri dalam hidup saya

Monday, February 22, 2010

Tired Yet Excited

post #402

We did it...We won our 2nd match....Thank You, God....though it took a lot of patience to get there....but we did it....Tired....yet excited...we advanced to the semi final...yeahhhh....Five goals were enough to put me as the top scorer for the moment....I hope I could keep it up...

Though I hadn't been good lately....You really showed that You are the master of universe...You are omnipotent...Thank You...Let this short entry be a reminder of Your Greatness....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday 2010

post #401

Lent has begun.
...... *blank
Lately I've been feeling tired.....where did this fatigue come?
Not to mention...dulll.....it's like I've lost inspiration to write, hence the last few entries were just basically me scribbling....

Was this an end of an era? Just like now....usually the words just came out by themselves as I typed, but now I have to think about them....what am I gonna write....etc...

Anw....today's the Ash Wednesday in 2010. Marked the beginning of Lent. Attended evening mass @St James church with David...It was WOW....hadn't been there for almost a year since it's renovated and it was fabulous...the giant statue...the 2nd floor....it's very grand....

....Well....God I hope I can make it through this Lent with flying mark....too dull and drowsy to write some more...

Monday, February 15, 2010

CNY 2010

post #400

Happy CNY 2561 to those who celebrates it!

Just a short entry....Had a blast yesterday. Big family gathering...took some pictures, did some catching up....met with cute nephews and nieces....It was fun and refreshing...

Twenty years ago, I was one of them....
Twenty years, seemed like a very distant place, yet time had brought me to the present in blinks of an eye...

Anyway....Happy CNY...May it brings us all prosperity, health, success, and love throughout this year of the Tiger

It happened that this year CNY coincided with Valentine's Day....It's still the same old same old...
so...in the spirit of Tiger and Love....



Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Cough + Cold

post #399

Cough + Cold...just the 'right combination' to make my day.
As far as I remember, this was the first time I spent my birthday with almost fever body, light head throbbing, cough, and cold....just greattt...

Perhaps I pushed myself too hard on Monday, then continued to work till late yesterday, then went to a friend's house to give a birthday surprise...hence my condition dropped...

But anyway I'd like to reflect....to be grateful for everything that I had, achieved, experienced....years really flew in the speed of light ;p
As I looked in the mirror when I got my hair cut, I saw a quiet, reserved man...he seemed unwell, tired. His eyes told me everything. Then I thought...hmmm...was this the man I had wanted to be?

Hmmm...so many things happened lately that made my head spin, lost in my own train of thoughts.
One thing for sure I'm grateful for who I am...what I have...what I've become...who I have...
Just a little bit more....

Grazie Dio!
Thy Love is my precious treasure.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

With Arms Wide Open

post #398

Uncle...hmmm...
I am an uncle now.
I have a nephew....this concept reverberating when I looked at the pics that my sis just uploaded.
There they were, a happy family. Their son added the joy they had as a family.
I was just like...... couldn't really find the words to articulate what I had in mind and heart.
A song popped up in my mind....an old song by Creed. It's dedicated for the vocalist's new born son (at the time)...and I think it fits perfectly....

Welcome to the world, nephew.


Creed - With Arms Wide Open

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is gonna change
I closed my eyes, began to pray
Then tears of joy streamed down my face

(chorus)
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, Ill take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

(chorus)
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
WIth arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything
Oh yeah
With arms wide open, wide open

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
That he can greet the world
With arms wide open

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
WIth arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything
Oh yeah

With arms wide open, wide open





Monday, February 08, 2010

Nothing Else Matters

post #397

Just a reminder that today, we won our first match against team 4. Quite miraculously I had to say. We're down one person, five vs six persons...We tried to keep up the deficit by pressing and using counter attack. I wasted a golden chance to score, which led to our first goal. The keeper managed to save my shot, hence corner was awarded. From the corner, an own goal was born.

I was being marked intensively by an opponent player. But after the first goal, the pressure was on the team who had more players. Thus they started to attack more...which made some holes on their defense. And I managed to maximize it by scoring a goal...YEAAAHHH!!!!!!

We held on till half time. Two goals lead was something that we weren't really expected. Wowww....We restored our stamina during first half break and then the second half began. I wasn't being marked exclusively and that made me able to score two more goals.....YIPPPIEEE!!!!

I scored a hattrick. Niceee.....although I was tired...I pushed myself...perhaps it's the adrenaline rush which flowed through my veins that shrugged the fatigue aside...for some moments when there were chances....And it was awesome...I converted those chances into two goals...Too bad I wasted few chances...and in the end the opponent managed to score consolation goal.

Nevertheless...we won! 4 -1 was the final score. Five against six, and we won....

The euphoria of scoring....of winning....there's nothing else matters....
Thank You, God...

Hopefully we can play better, get our 6th player...and win the championship....

As for now...I want to lay myself in this bed of euphoria...

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
but I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for things they say
Never cared for games they play
I'd never cared for what they do
I'd never cared for what they know
And I know

Yeah!

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters





 

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