post #108
Why do people engage in a relationship (romance)? What do they expect from a relationship? Are they happier when they’re in a relationship compared when they’re still single?
It’s been a while since my last relationship and I must say being single is great and I’m happy with it. I can do whatever I like. I don’t have to think about my weekend schedule. I can hangout with my ‘homies’ whenever I want to without starting a ‘war’ with that special person ;p. And the best part…I can flirt with any girl….lolzzzzzzz Sometimes I feel like there’s something missing. Having a girlfriend (or girlfriends….lolzz) has it’s own treat. It surely nice to have someone (with a sweet voice) to talk to, to share stories, to go out for a cup of coffee or to a dinner, someone who cares about me more than my ‘homies’ (well in a different way I mean), someone I can cuddle, caress, and kiss.
Sometimes this longing comes up, but I think I’m already used to my solitude. My heart is in semi-absolute zero degree condition. I feel comfortable in my fortress of solitude. There’re few girls that give me the warmth like sunshine in springtime, but it never reached the inner side of my fortress. My mind quickly blocks the warmth and makes me contented with the usual cold fortress wall. One of my best friends just broke up with his gf after dating for 6 years. And he said he felt something missing, but he’s not rushing to get into another relationship. His gf already asked him to get back together again, but He wanted to enjoy his ‘singleness’ for the moment, to sort things out.
I read in my friend’s blog that the reason why people choose to be alone is because they afraid of getting hurt. Well I believe that in every relationship we must be honest from the start with the other person about what do we expect from the relationship. I think getting hurt in a relationship is caused by different expectations from both persons who engaged in it. If both persons are honest from the beginning, then they know what to expect from the relationship, thus they won’t end up getting hurt expecting different things from their spouse.
Most of the times when we’re in a relationship we forget about one thing, tolerance. The longer relationship goes, the more expectations we have from other our spouse and the less tolerance we have for her/him. For example: I expect my girlfriend to make me as priority number one. No one or nothing above me. And when my girlfriend choose to prioritize something else over me (like work, or an old friends that she hasn’t seen in ages or a distant relative who comes over), I may tend to get upset. I think that she doesn’t love us that much. This attitude gives pressure to my girlfriend and can affect our relationship. Loving me can become a burden for her and it will only make her unhappy having a relationship with me. Even though we’re a couple, we have still our own worlds. I believe being a couple doesn’t mean that we merge our worlds to become one world, everything revolves around us and nothing but us. It’s more like connecting our two worlds in a very intimate level. We must still respect and love her/him as a whole person, not owning her/him fully like a possession.
Maybe I still feel very comfortable in my fortress of solitude coz I haven’t found that one special person that can break down the wall surrounding my heart. That person who can melt my freezing heart with her warm smile and sincere behavior. Maybe I’m expecting, waiting for someone who only exist in the back of my head. Maybe I already found that someone but she already walked away coz I doubted my feelings. Maybe……I find something to fill in the void from the movies I watch which augment my imagination. I guess that’s why I like the romance (if I may say that) in Prison Break. It’s beautifully played by Sarah n Wentworth. The chemistry between them. The simple moments they share…..the simple kiss, not sex. It appeals more to me. Though it seems that they don’t have a future together… *sigh
What do you do if you find yourselves in that kind of situation? Having some kind of relationship with a person which you don’t see a future with (I’m not talking about an affair with married couples…but with a single person)….Would you walk away the minute you see no future? Or would you stay and enjoy it till it’s time to say goodbye? Which one hurts more? Walk away immediately and only left with wistful thinking of how great it would have been or knowing that we must part though we don’t want to end? I guess the answer depends on how worthy that person is.
It’s never easy when it comes to feelings. Reminds me of a saying… Some people are meant to be alone.
Irwansyah - Pencinta Wanita (OST Heart)
Kutemukan dalam pencarian
cinta sejati untuk hidupku
kurang lebih yang seperti dia
kuharap dalam cintaku
* ku tak mau menjanjikannya
pasti bahagia bila denganku
biar dia rasakan sendiri
betapa gilanya cintaku
** aku memang pencinta wanita
namun ku bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
ku hanya mencintai dia
aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia
*,**
aku memang pencinta wanita
namun kau bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
kau hanya mencintai aku
**
aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia
pencinta wanita
mencintai dia
hanyalah dia
Why do people engage in a relationship (romance)? What do they expect from a relationship? Are they happier when they’re in a relationship compared when they’re still single?
It’s been a while since my last relationship and I must say being single is great and I’m happy with it. I can do whatever I like. I don’t have to think about my weekend schedule. I can hangout with my ‘homies’ whenever I want to without starting a ‘war’ with that special person ;p. And the best part…I can flirt with any girl….lolzzzzzzz Sometimes I feel like there’s something missing. Having a girlfriend (or girlfriends….lolzz) has it’s own treat. It surely nice to have someone (with a sweet voice) to talk to, to share stories, to go out for a cup of coffee or to a dinner, someone who cares about me more than my ‘homies’ (well in a different way I mean), someone I can cuddle, caress, and kiss.
Sometimes this longing comes up, but I think I’m already used to my solitude. My heart is in semi-absolute zero degree condition. I feel comfortable in my fortress of solitude. There’re few girls that give me the warmth like sunshine in springtime, but it never reached the inner side of my fortress. My mind quickly blocks the warmth and makes me contented with the usual cold fortress wall. One of my best friends just broke up with his gf after dating for 6 years. And he said he felt something missing, but he’s not rushing to get into another relationship. His gf already asked him to get back together again, but He wanted to enjoy his ‘singleness’ for the moment, to sort things out.
I read in my friend’s blog that the reason why people choose to be alone is because they afraid of getting hurt. Well I believe that in every relationship we must be honest from the start with the other person about what do we expect from the relationship. I think getting hurt in a relationship is caused by different expectations from both persons who engaged in it. If both persons are honest from the beginning, then they know what to expect from the relationship, thus they won’t end up getting hurt expecting different things from their spouse.
Most of the times when we’re in a relationship we forget about one thing, tolerance. The longer relationship goes, the more expectations we have from other our spouse and the less tolerance we have for her/him. For example: I expect my girlfriend to make me as priority number one. No one or nothing above me. And when my girlfriend choose to prioritize something else over me (like work, or an old friends that she hasn’t seen in ages or a distant relative who comes over), I may tend to get upset. I think that she doesn’t love us that much. This attitude gives pressure to my girlfriend and can affect our relationship. Loving me can become a burden for her and it will only make her unhappy having a relationship with me. Even though we’re a couple, we have still our own worlds. I believe being a couple doesn’t mean that we merge our worlds to become one world, everything revolves around us and nothing but us. It’s more like connecting our two worlds in a very intimate level. We must still respect and love her/him as a whole person, not owning her/him fully like a possession.
Maybe I still feel very comfortable in my fortress of solitude coz I haven’t found that one special person that can break down the wall surrounding my heart. That person who can melt my freezing heart with her warm smile and sincere behavior. Maybe I’m expecting, waiting for someone who only exist in the back of my head. Maybe I already found that someone but she already walked away coz I doubted my feelings. Maybe……I find something to fill in the void from the movies I watch which augment my imagination. I guess that’s why I like the romance (if I may say that) in Prison Break. It’s beautifully played by Sarah n Wentworth. The chemistry between them. The simple moments they share…..the simple kiss, not sex. It appeals more to me. Though it seems that they don’t have a future together… *sigh
What do you do if you find yourselves in that kind of situation? Having some kind of relationship with a person which you don’t see a future with (I’m not talking about an affair with married couples…but with a single person)….Would you walk away the minute you see no future? Or would you stay and enjoy it till it’s time to say goodbye? Which one hurts more? Walk away immediately and only left with wistful thinking of how great it would have been or knowing that we must part though we don’t want to end? I guess the answer depends on how worthy that person is.
It’s never easy when it comes to feelings. Reminds me of a saying… Some people are meant to be alone.
Irwansyah - Pencinta Wanita (OST Heart)
Kutemukan dalam pencarian
cinta sejati untuk hidupku
kurang lebih yang seperti dia
kuharap dalam cintaku
* ku tak mau menjanjikannya
pasti bahagia bila denganku
biar dia rasakan sendiri
betapa gilanya cintaku
** aku memang pencinta wanita
namun ku bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
ku hanya mencintai dia
aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia
*,**
aku memang pencinta wanita
namun kau bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
kau hanya mencintai aku
**
aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia
pencinta wanita
mencintai dia
hanyalah dia
1 Comment:
wow, what an interesting thought =)
Would you walk away the minute you see no future? Or would you stay and enjoy it till it’s time to say goodbye?
If I were in that situation, I will walk away immediately =)
*humm actually, I’ve been there, done that* hehehe…
I don’t want to do something when I know that it won’t work.
Yes, I know there are lots of things that worth trying.
But, if we’ve already know that it won’t work, what’s the point of trying?
Wouldn’t that be a silly thing to do? Hehehe…
Which one hurts more?
I believe that the second one would hurt more…
Here’s an interesting-sceptical quote from my friend’s blog:
“Daripada sakit nanti, lebih baik tidak sama sekali” =)
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