World Clock

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Family Man

post #364

Ermmm.....Where should I begin?
Okay I guess I'll start with the interview that change my life course afterward. I got this interview at newspaper in South Florida. My beloved wife, Jenny drove me to the office and gave me that encouragement that I'd have the job. I had a friend who already worked at the newspaper, Sebastian. Short story, the interview was successful and I nailed the job. Jenny was very happy about it coz it's her idea to move somewhere warmer (we came from Michigan btw).

Life had been pretty good actually. We'd been married for 4 years and happy about it. Then one morning, in the middle of breakfast, I was reading Jenny's article (yeah she's a journalist as well) before go to the office when she discovered that her plant was dead. Something that she said afterward struck me. Here's what she said: "How am I ever supposed to take care of a kid if I can't even keep a plant alive?"

Uh oh....Later I talked to my bud, Sebastian. He suggested that I should get a pet...dog. By having dog, I'd still be me and not be a dad...a master instead. Then off he went to Colombia to write a story about cocaine. I took his advice and went to a dog shelter with Jenny. I gave her a surprise by buying her a dog. We got this cheap puppy...we called him Clearance Puppy. But we couldn't take him home just yet. We had to wait for 3 weeks.

I got the dog while Jen was in Gainesville. I ended up naming him Marley, since he seemed like Bob Marley's song that was played on the radio when we were on our way home. Marley was a cute, adorable puppy. On the day I picked up Jen at the airport, there was thunder and I left Marley all alone in the garage. When we're back...we're amazed by the destruction Marley did in just an hour time.

Time passed and Marley grew from a cute, naughty puppy to a bigger, naughtier dog. One day my editor gave me a column. In newspaper world, it's a promotion. I was doubtful at first because I didn't see myself as a columnist. And I was blank....didn't have any idea about what to write. Since Marley was so incorrigible (so we thought), we took him to a dog discipline class. On his first day, he humped the trainer and got banned from the rest of the course. It was kinda funny actually. Then we decided the take the last resort, fertilize him.

I gave my editor the story based on my experiences with Marley..well basically because I didn't have anything else. To my surprise, he loved it. He said it's hysterical and it's very good. He said this when I was walking out of his office, big smile on my face. Listen, you know what makes it work? What makes it work is that you put yourself into it.

Then next all I knew that my column was revolving around Marley. Time went by, two years passed and one night after so many columns I wrote..I saw Jen dancing with Marley. Then I thought the reason not to have baby....nada...One day I took Marley for a walk with Jen and I asked her about the next thing on her list (moving to warmer place was in her list...forgot which step). She said it's a toss between new roof and a baby. I said I could live with a few leaks. Jen tried to confirm my seriousness. I convinced her that I'm ready.

I had a lunch with Sebastian one day and he asked me what made me change my mind. I said to him, Well, here's the thing. I'm actually married to someone and I care about what she wants. He later asked me if that's what I want. I said yeah. It turned out that Sebastian was doing a story for NY Times and he was hoping we can work together. But this kind of job is not really appropriate for a father to be. I was interested. But Jen gave me the news that she's pregnant. So I didn't tell her about Sebastian's offer.

I accompanied Jen to check the baby when her pregnancy was almost 10 weeks. We got the bad news. There was no heart beat. Jen looked very sad. She was quite all the way back home. She just stared out of the car window. Back at home when I was making her some tea and trying to make some conversation, I saw Marley comforting her just by placing his head on her thigh. Then Jen cried. Marley was just sitting there, behaving himself while I tried to comfort Jen.

We decided to take a vacation to Ireland, I thought it'd might help to comfort Jen. Of course we didn't bring Marley along. We had a girl to take care of him while we're away. Not so long after we got back, Jen surprised me with a great news. She was pregnant. Ahh...the luck of Irish.

Then one night...Jen felt it. The baby was coming. Marley helped me unboxing the car seat for the baby. He even behaved very well when I introduced Patrick to him. One day I took Marley to the beach and he looked at a couple making out. Went back home and I saw Jen was holding Patrick as she sang....she looked so adorable. She saw me and smiled. I smiled back.

One night a neighbor was stabbed in an robbery attempt. After that incident I decided to move to Boca. The price was high but I think we could afford it. I talked to Jen about it and she gave me another surprise. She was pregnant again. So I asked a raise to my editor. He said okay if I would be a permanent columnist. I said to him that I had an idea of myself as a reporter. He said: Well, sometimes life comes up with a better idea. Short story, I got a raise and a daily column.

One morning Jen just snapped because of Marley being Marley. I took him to the park with Sebastian. Sebastian asked who would get Marley if we split up. I said to him, mend it, don't end it. So live is better with Jenny than without her? Sebastian asked again.

Then we got into this big fight, Jen asked me to get rid of Marley. In the middle of the heat I said some things I shouldn't have said. So went to Sebastian's, asked him to keep Marley for a while, at least until things cooled down. Sebastian was preparing to move to NY Times. Woww...I hadn't known that.

Later that night I went back home, Jen was sleeping on the couch. She seemed to be waiting for me. She asked about Marley and I told her Marley was at Sebastian for a few days until I could find more permanent home. She said...Marley's home is with us. Then she said sorry because she got overwhelmed. She said no one tells how hard it is....marriage, being a parent. Then she said that she had made a choice, and even if it's harder than she thought, I don't regret it. She said we're gonna get through it, together.

One day when I was spending time with my family, a call from Philadelphia Inquirer, offered me an interview as a reporter. How does it feel to have your best years behind you? You do everything you wanted to? That were the questions I asked Marley when I took him to the beach. Then I unleashed him. He ran to the ocean and the other dogs were unleashed too. But Marley made a scene by pooping in the water. Later that night Jen surprised me with a Birthday party. I forgot it was my birthday, then she gave me a present, her blessings for any job that I'd like to take.

I finally took the offer. We had a big house, life seemed great. One afternoon I went home earlier and when me and my boys went inside, Marley seemed exhausted. He was trembling when stepping on the steps. That night, Marley went missing after I let him go outside. I went looking for him under the rain. I finally found him under a tree, soaked wet. I took him to a veterinarian and she said Marley's stomach twisted. She also said this thing most likely to happen again and that Marley was to old to survive a surgery. I went back home, while Marley stayed there for the night. The phone call I was waiting for came in the morning. Marley's coming home.

Time went by ans everything seemed ok. I even met Sebastian on my way home the other day. He still looked the same n did okay. He was in Philly to cover a story. I went home and took Marley for a walk. One night, Marley slept in front of the fireplace. I slept with him that night. One day Jenny called when I was at the office and told me that Marley was not ok. I went home and took Marley to the vet.

The vet said that it was his stomach again. I called Jenny to tell her about Marley's condition then I stayed there; accompanying Marley. I told him that we love him...that he's a great dog. But as much I wanted him to stay...I had to let him go. The Vet said that the injection won't make Marley feel anything, that he'd just slip away. The moment when Marley closed his eyes for the last time felt like the longest one in my life. I could only stroked his head gently while he's smilingly closing his eyes.

Goodbye Marley, you're the greatest dog ever.

We buried him on our yard. Jen put the necklace I gave her, the one that once was eaten by Marley beside him.

A dog has no use for fancy cars...or big homes or designer clothes...a waterlogged stick will do just fine.
A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb...
Give them your heart and he'll give you his.
How many people can you say that about?
How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?
How many people can make you feel extraordinary?


My name is John Grogan and this story was about Marley and Me.



Whoaaaa....finally I wrote an entry about Marley and Me. A long one I had to say :D
Been meaning to write this...but haven't really got the time to do so...since I was planning to do a bit of movie review as well, hence the long entry.

Watching this movie was not really planned. I watched it with my homies at Blitzmegaplex MOI, since it's the only movie we hadn't watched in theater. It turned out to be exceeding my expectation. I was expecting a light drama comedy with cute dog....but the movie offered a lot of moral messages, esp for marriage life....some I highlighted with bold.

- what makes it work? Put yourself into it. I think this applies to everything...relationship, career, basically everything we do. If we put ourselves into it...it will work. Of course in relationship it takes two (or more) participating persons to put themselves to make it work.

- when we're in a relationship, we must sometimes put aside our ego. As John said...we need to care about what the other person want. We're in the relationship together and this kind of awareness, respect and care are the ingredients for a lasting relationship.

- how many times life turns out not the way we want it to be? awfully lot I guess. Well....I think we all experience that not all of our plans come out as we expected. But like John's editor said...sometimes life has better plan...in a religious view, God has a different, better plan for each and everyone of us. We just need to be wise enough to realize it and adjust ourselves. Like there's a saying...we cannot change where the wind blows, but we can adjust the sail.

- what to do when we have disagreements or fights? are we gonna runaway? are we gonna look the other way and ignore these? or are we gonna try and make it work? try to find a solution that can be accepted by both? I read somewhere that it's not good to sleep when you're having an argument. But I think it's okay, instead of keep arguing with tired minds and short temper...it's better to cool down, get some rest...and perhaps in the morning, with clear mind we realize how silly the argument was...or we can continue arguing, but with clearer mind and better temper.

- consequences. These are the result of a choice we make. Basically that's what life is all about. You must be ready to bear the consequences of each choice you make. They might be pleasant, or not...but it's your life, it's your decision...and they're your consequences to bear. Perhaps sometimes we think we can bear the consequences of the choice we make....but as time goes by, they seem much harder than we had thought before. But like Jen said...she didn't regret making the choice, so we shouldn't either.There must be some positive things that come out from it.

John and Jen were depicted as a good example of what marriage couple should be. They love, care and support each other. They both had similar visions and wanted same things in life. Those were the things that make it last. Plus...they got Marley...the clearance puppy....

Dog....really is human's best friend.







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