Mom's Birthday

Today is a very special day. It’s mom’s birthday. I’m speechless. I can’t find perfect words for her, so I just dedicate this song for her. Happy Birthday Mom, I Love You….

The Perfect Fan by Backstreet Boys

It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of prayers to get me through
And there is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed

Chorus:
You showed me
When I was young just how to grow
You showed me
Everything that I should know
You showed me
Just how to walk without your hands
Cause mom you always were
The perfect fan

God has been so good
Blessing me with a family
Who did all they could
And I've had many years of grace
And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what you've done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son

Chrous

You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And you showed me that you would
Always be there
I wanna thank you for that time
And I'm proud to say you're mine

Chrous

Cause mom you always were
Mom you always were
Mom you always were
You know you always were
Cause mom you always were
The perfect fan

I love you mom. You’re really an angel God sent for me..

15. 8 Days

First of all, I would like to congratulate my friend Agus, who now has become Bachelor of Computer Science. Last Saturday, he had his thesis ‘trial’, I watched it and he passed. Congrats man!! After that we played pool at Metro. It’d been a long time since I last played there. I ordered Iced Lemon Tea and it was the best iced lemon tea I had ever drunk. The flavor was just right. After shooting some balls we went home. Later in the afternoon I attended the 6PM mass and went straight to store. Nothing eventful on Sunday, just went shopping with mom. We went to Diamond Gadink and C4 Pulomas. I bought Executive shirt and formal pants, coz they’re having this discount and the price was quite cheap. After that the next week had been quite exciting. At Monday I had my first WG gathering. It was fun. We met at PS. I went there with viechien, then we ate together with other WG member such as shella, cool mom, bowie, kuroro, wiedz, frog, nugie, DJ Arya, and the famous uting. We talked like we’re friends from a long time though it was the first time we met IRL (at least that was my first IRL encounter). It’s kinda amazing how you can make friends through the internet. Tuesday went slow, nothing special, just another day calling the clients, making quotation and YM conference. Wednesday I had this meeting with a law firm; their office was very neat, very comfy. And then at Thursday got some problems with invoice thing and my computer was infected by spyware. Luckily it’s my office computer that was infected. Friday, had general meeting, went home at 7 PM, stopped by at C4 Ambasador to buy cake ingredients for mom. And the last, yesterday I woke up late. I was supposed to wake up at 6.30 AM, but I woke up at 7.10AM, I went to ASEAN Hall immediately. Played badminton till 11 AM. Tirta came yesterday, and he really sparked things up, coz he was very good at badminton. It was very good. I was tired, but I felt healthy. When I was walking to Bakmie Bromo to eat, I met Andrainy. And then we went to Glodok (I wanted to buy medicine for mom), and then to ITC Mangga Dua (she wanted to buy contact lens). Took a quick nap as soon as I arrived at home.

Speaking about shopping, it reminds me of Shania Twain’s song, Ka Ching. With all the hypermarkets spreading all over Jakarta, we become more and more consumptive. Not to mention about credit card. It makes us buy things that we want to buy, but not necessarily need to have. I felt this when I was at Diamond and C4, I wanted to buy pants, racket for playing badminton, wrist band, new pair of shoes, etc. I had the money, but did I really need all of that? Fortunately my rational mind had won the battle and defeated that impulse buying urge. Well…I guess that’s all. I supposed to have an appointment with an instructor at Celebrity Fitness at Gadink, but I think I must cancel that appointment. I still feel exhausted and I better save my energy for the following 5 days of work. As usual, I leave you, my faithful blog reader with a song. I think this song is excellent and it has a moral message for all of us. Ciao….

Ka-Ching by Shania Twain

We live in a greedy little world
that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly
Then turn around and spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess
We spend the money we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all
So it's shoppin' every Sunday at the mall

* : chorus
All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store
Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing
Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When you're broke go and get a loan
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when you get bored

*

Let's swing
Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha
Come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
Oh

*

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
You'll love to dream
With lots of money and things
Ka-ching!

A New Day Has Come

Welcome July. Lots of things will happen in this month. For starter, The US Independence Day. But the most important is my mom’s birthday. I’ll talk about it later. Today is Friday. The first day in July. I arrived late to office coz I stopped by at Bank Ekonomi to get the voucher. Yesterday I had chatted with Widya (got her id from Novi), Grace, n other friends. I also had another YM conference. I got this new spirit in writing blog, thanks to Widya. We chatted and I told her that I had a blog and she was quite enthusiastic to see it. I gave her the URL and she read it. She’s the first person who read it eagerly. She said she wanted to make one but she found it quite difficult to start, that she enjoys posting a short comment like in a forum more. I said to her, “ A Journey of a thousand miles begin with first step” (One thing that I remember the most from Lion King, beside Elton John’s Can You Feel The Love Tonight..hahaha). If she read this post I hope I can encourage her to start her own blog, as she gave me new energy to write more and better blog.

The other thing that new today was that I finally bought a digital camera. My first digital camera. I bought Nikon CoolPix 3700 for 2.580m (Include another original battery, 512MB Ultra Fast SD Card, and a camera pouch). It was a good deal. I’m very happy right now. Now I can take as many pictures as I want, shoot vidclips, in short, expanding my creativity…hahahahahahaha. Since I started working, I found myself wiser in spending my money. Yup, you got that right. MY money. It feels good to finally make my own money. Though I’m not fully independent, but still this is a good step towards that. I have known how hard it is to make a living. It’s not easy to be an adult person, to be mature. Indonesian saying, “Tua itu pasti, dewasa itu pilihan”. As an adult, we have more freedom. I mean, we all make our own decisions, but we also must realize that we also have to face the consequences of every decision we make. Life is not about chances. Life is all about choices and consequences. Well, I wont bore you with this whole adult/mature thing, like I said life is about choices. You live your own life, you get your own choices. The point is I’m happy that I bought Nikon. I’m gonna explore it’s feature.

A new day, new month, a new contact on YM (Widya….*big grin*), a new camera, a new gf (I wish…..lol). Everyday is a new day. Everyday is a gift.


A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion

A new day
A new day

I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you

*:
Hush, love
I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love

**:
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun...

A new day has... come

Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness,
I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy

*, **

A new day has...

**

A new day has... come

Ohhh, a light
Hush, now I see a light in your eyes
All in the eyes of the boy

I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love

Hush, now
a new day
Hush, now
a new day

Happy Birthday Grace!!! (CoolPix Hunting)

These last few days I’ve been browsing the internet, looking for an ideal digicam. I’m planning to buy digicam coz I want to take pictures at my graduation day. Learned plenty things about digital photography. Thanks to www.dpreview.com, the best site to look for information about digicam. I got a headache by looking at all those digicam types and brands, but I finally made up my mind to buy Nikon CoolPix series, whether it’s 3700, 5200 or 5900. I must check my budget first for that. I’m gonna buy it this weekend.

Work has been quite dull. Nothing much to do. I have to wait for confirmation. So I spent most of the times browsing for digicam, conferencing at YM, and reading ebook, what a role model for another employee…lol.

Today’s a big day for my friend, Grace. It’s her birthday…..Happy Birthday Grace. She’s turning 99 now…just joking, I can not reveal her age (she’ll kill me if I do that…hahahaha). Chatted w her this morning. Congratulated her, she said she’s feeling old. Well..for 99 year old, she looked just fine…great actually…hahahahaha. She sent me pictures she’d taken earlier. The best pic was #5790. The birthday girl sat in the middle. Her friends were beside her. Beautiful girls plus one guy. The girl next to Grace was absolutely stunning in the pic (the one w the black tee shirt)..She’s so………….hhhmhmmmmmmm. Lost for words…..hehehehe

Well that’s all I guess.. Just wanna post about Grace’s Birthday and my hunt for the “perfect” digicam.
It’s almost lunch time. This is the song by Enya, soundtrack of Sweet November. I watched this movie w Grace n Dana (I forgot..). She also wore black tee shirt at that time… Okay…peace out

Only Time by Enya

Who can say

Where the road goes, Where the day flows

- only time

And who can say

If your love grows, As your heart chose

- only time

Who can say

Why your heart sighs, As your love flies

- only time

And who can say

Why your heart cries, When your love lies

- only time

Who can say

When the roads meet, That love might be

In your heart

And who can say, When the day sleeps

If the night keeps all your heart

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say

If your love grows, As your heart chose

- only time

And who can say
Where the road goes, Where the day flows

- only time

Who knows - only time...

Who knows - only time...

Linger and Alive

Sunday, June 26, 2005. Start at 1.10 PM

I…..I feel so alive…And I think I can fly….

These last two days have been SUPERB. Let me start with Friday. At Friday I took a day off from office. I intended to go to campus to get my Wisuda package. But when I was about to go, I looked at the announcement, it turned out that the wisuda package for my major would be given starting at Saturday, 25 June 2005, not Friday. So I didn’t go to campus. Silly me, but I was lucky because I read the announcement once again before I left. If I had left, then It would have been such a waste of time. And then at ten sth, David sent me SMS, asking if I wanted to got to InulVizta. I replied it and said it’s a good idea. So we arranged to meet at Inul at 12PM. I arrived there at 11 sth. David was already there, as usual he parked his car in front of Holland Bakery. We went in, got room #1. Bowo confirmed to come w Maria, his gf. We tried the June promo from Inul, FREE video recording. The 1^st song, “Kukatakan Dengan Indah” by Peterpan, passed just like that coz we’re talking about comp stuffs. And then songs after songs went in to the playlist, and we started to sing. We tried the record function to record our karaoke session and it worked quite well. Not so long after that, Bowo and Maria came. More songs were added to the playlist. We sang for about 2 hours and when it ended we ask the waiter coz we wanted to choose which song that would be burned to CD. We chose 7 songs (coz we only got 7 song to choose…). After that David said that he wanted to go to Roxy to buy cellphone for him and his gf, coz his gf’s birthday was coming soon. I said it would be better if we just go to ITC Cempaka Mas, since it was near Gadink and Roxy’s traffic jam was awful. So we went to Cempaka Mas. To make long story short we ate there, David bought 2 N6600 (which made him broke…lol), bought casing and cellphone leather case. After that David dropped me off at Ibi and I went home.

Slept at 1 AM that Friday night. Woke up at 7,I had this appointment with Tirta to play badminton at ASEAN Hall. Arrived there at 8.10 AM. Played badminton until 11 AM. Tirta was very good. Then I and Anthony booked the ASEAN hall for July. So for five weeks, I’ll be playing badminton every Saturday morning. It was very exhausting. At 11 I went to Anggrek to see Job Expo. Met Denny Soe, Bellina, Vivi, Alvin, Yuliana, Berku, etc. Dave ask me a favor to get his wisuda package since he must go to his office. I looked around at Anggrek until 12.50 PM. Went to Syahdan then, at Plaza saw Yakin, Nell n Jef. Nell n Jef went to lucky 7, I sat there and talked to Yakin. It’s been a while since I last met him. And then we went up and when we got to the 2^nd floor, near H2H…we were surprised cause the queue was very long. It reached H2E…and it was bloody hot. I didn’t want to stand in line in such condition. So we went down again to Plaza. At 1PM sth Charlie’s angels minus Laura came. At 1.30 PM I went up again, met Kwang at the stair, she said VC was looking for me and that she was in the front part of the queue. So I went up, I went through the queue until I saw VC and Berku. There were also iing, Vebi, Febri, Step, Willy, etc. I managed to slip in and got in front of Berku. Standing in line for a while. Got the packages. I got #609. The others got eight hundred something. And my invitations was a lil bit different. They got some kind of ribbon at the corner. Met Yanti, Yunita, Pin2, VY on my way to put the packages to my car. Vy’s using braces and she had cut her hair. I put the packages in my car, went back to Syahdan, Robert came and went to stand in line. Talked a bit with the other. Ronaldy n his gf already came, along w Richards, Bernard, Yosep, kriston, etc. At 3 sth they went back. Went to eat. Robert came and he drove me to MBK (Maria Bunda Karmel) church. I Attended the 5PM mass. It was the best church I ever visited. Two thumbs up for MBK. Finished at 6.10 PM. Called Robert, asked him to pick me up. He picked me up, and he went to his sister’s, I changed my clothes. Went to Bale Air w Robert, he escorted my along the way. He (despite of his eccentric behavior) really has this pure, sincere and kind heart. It’s hard to find a friend like him. Arrived at Bale Air, Berku was already there, along w his gf, Step n Willy, Jaka n his gf (later I found out that her name was Amel).

We ate dinner accompanied by live music. The band was quite good, except for when they sang She Will Be Loved… Step T came w her bf not long after we got out table. She really looked like Grace, I told Berku and he agreed with me. Nell n Jef came later on. We enjoyed our dinner until 9.30 PM. Went home and got this Need for Speed moment with B 80XX BL.. which was Jaka’s car. We drove like there was no tomorrow…lol very exciting and adrenaline-rushing. We drove at maybe average 120-130 Kph (Damn it felt so good to drive that fast…..). I was left behind twice before I managed to pass him by at the end of our circuit…yeah… I got home at 10 sth PM. It took me less than 20 minutes to get back from Bale Air…insane….hahahahaha. Slept at 12 AM.

Today woke up at 11 AM. My body feel very sore now. It feels like I’d been hit by a truck. But I feel GREAT. The badminton, mass at MBK, and the need for speed moment made me feel so ALIVE. But yesterday, my melancholic side rose a lil bit. When I was at staircase at Anggrek.

*Break a lil….Mom just finished making donuts…ate them….hmmm…..very delicious..

I felt this longing, this sad feeling, remembering that my university days were over. When I looked at the boys n girls down at the food court, I lingered the days I had when I was the one who sitting there, all the laughs, the joy, the sad times. I reminisce that times. Those are wistful memories of the best times in my life. The people whom I used to spend time with, the places we used to go together, the little crazy things we did, all of the stories, jokes, events that we shared. They’re all written in the pages of my history.

“..di saat kita bersama, di waktu kita tertawa, menangis, merenung, oleh cinta…”

“..do u still remember, how we used to be…feeling together believing whatever..”

Though memories are designed to fade…they’re one of the things that make me feel ALIVE.

Alive by P.O.D.

Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for every
breath i take,
I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control
Sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love (so I trust in love)
You have given me
Peace of mind

Chorus:
I, I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I, I feel so alive (so alive)
For the very first time (for the very first time)
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face (sunshine upon my face)
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world
How I feel inside (tell the world how I feel inside)
Even though it might
Cost me everything
Now that I know this
So beyond, I can't control this
I can never
Turn my back away
Now that I've seen you (now that i've seen you
I can neva look away

Repeat chorus

And now that I know you
(I could neva
turn my back away)
And now that I see you
(I could neva look away)
And now that I know you
(I could neva
turn my back away)
And now that I see you
(I believe no matta
what they say!)

Repeat chorus (x2)

And I think I can fly (fly) (x3)

Gianicera

Gianicera. I created this word in December 2001. But the origin of this word came back way from 1999. It was in January 1999. I was at my (parents) store. I read a letter while I was listening to Boyzone, All That I Need. It’s not an ordinary letter. It was a letter from someone special (at that time). She’s studying in Singapore (at Bartley Secondary School) and it was her first reply. She said in her letter that I was the first person who sent her a letter and she was very happy because of it. (It took me quite some time to understand her feeling, that she’s lonely there, needed a friend, someone to talk to). It happened to be that she was my first love..? (maybe…I haven’t figured out for sure the definition of first love). I had this HUGE crush for her. She was my classmate at Junior High. Then she went abroad to continue her study. I never let anyone know about my feelings for her coz I had known that on of my best friend also had a BIG crush on her. I never made a move on her at Junior High coz beside my best friend thing, I was also a very shy back then (actually I’m still, on some occasions). Okay back to the letter. It was a long letter. I read it thoroughly and carefully. There were some words that made me ‘fly’. I thought that she was also developing a feeling for me. I was very excited (far more than excited actually…I just can’t find the word to describe my feeling at that moment). She wrote much about her early days there, her school, etc. And she ended her letter with I Miss U, Miss U, Miss U, I Miss U Like Crazy (It was The Moffatts’s song, I knew it instantly, but still reading it really raised my spirit to the highest level). And the naïve me felt that I got the response that I expected. And it all happened while I was listening to Boyzone album Where We Belong which I borrowed from Linda, my classmate at High School.

And then, of course I replied her letter as soon I had the time. But my heart was broken when in her (I forgot) …letter she told me that she had a bf. I read it over and over again. I couldn’t believe what I read. I was shocked. And then I sat back and tried to think about it. Then I realized that all that time she just considered me as a friend, a good friend whom she could share stories with, a friend who helped her got through her early days in a foreign country. But I still writing letter to her. We corresponded for about eight months and then we lost contact. Not really lost contact, we kept in touch, just not as often as we used to. It was in June 1999 I heard BSB’s I Want It Thay Way (I heard it for the first time before June, but the album, Millennium, was released in June 1999…if I remember correctly). The lyric really fit with my condition with her. That’s one of the reasons why I like BSB. Time went by, she went to Oz and I still had this crush for her, but like a fire, it was getting smaller and finally I could consider her as a friend.

I put a part of her name in Gianicera. The word itself has another girls’ name, since it was made from a combination of girls’ name who has impact in my life. Having a crush on someone could give extra determination and motivation. It’s like having some kind of extra energy to do the best. Later on I added another, and it became Giacellenira. But it’s another story. Why do I write about this…particularly now? The reason is simple, coz today’s her birthday. It’s her 22nd birthday. Until this second, I never told her that I had a crush on her. Sometimes I wonder what did she feel at that time, I wonder what would happened if I’d told her about my feelings. Would it be any different? I don’t know and I guess she didn’t have to know about this (I mean, what’s the use??), though I’m very sure that if she read this blog then she’ll know that she’s the one I refer to. Okay then to finish this, I want to wish her an excellent birthday, hope she can make all of her dreams come true.

Quoting her words in her 2nd letter: Saying I Love You Is The Hardest Thing To Do...
wish I knew why she wrote it....

I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys

You are my fire (were)
The one desire (used to be)
Believe when I say
I want it that way

But we are two worlds apart (yes we are)
Can't reach to your heart (I never can)
When you say
That I want it that way

CHORUS:
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake (not a mistake, but it sure ached my heart)
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say (but I had to eventually)
I want it that way

Am I your fire (? I guess not)
Your one desire (absolutely not)
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way

CHORUS

Now I can see that we've fallen apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah (we used to be good friends, that’s all)
No matter the distance (it was quite the distance)
I want you to know that (though I wasn’t sure to tell u)
Deep down inside of me

You are my fire (were…..the only one)
The one desire (not anymore)
You are, you are, you are, you are
Don't wanna hear you say... (but I had to)

Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I never wanna hear you say,
I want it that way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I want it that way

Tell me why...
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
(Never wanna hear you say it),
I want it that way

CAUSE I want it that way (but things didn't go that way)

YM Conferences

Good morning Universe!

Woke up quite early today though I only slept for about 6 hours. Went to office early and it took me only half an hour to get here, which was very fast. It’s a new record. Another day at work. It’s approaching the end of June. Still haven’t achieved my target. I must get this one hope of MCSE course so I can close this month with good achievement, and excellent incentive of course…lol. Have you ever thought about this life? About the mistakes you’ve made? Sometimes I think I have this kind of cycle in my life. There are times when I make the same mistakes over and over again. It feels like the mistakes make me go back to point zero. Feel like I’m standing still. Well, it’s only a thought, I always try to look from the bright side, to learn from my mistakes
Yesterday was a blast. Chat with my univ friends. We even had a conference using YM. You can imagine if more than 10 persons join a chat room…It was chaos..lol. We talked about everything, in Indonesian…ngomongnya ngalor ngidul…..hahahahaha…actually it’s in Javanese..doesn’t matter. Today’s is Jakarta’s birthday. It celebrates it’s 478th birthday. It’s been a long way since 1527. History recorded that Fatahillah was the one who found (or built??) Jakarta. It was named Sunda Kelapa at first. And then in the time of Dutch colonial, it’s called Batavia (which sounds classy I think), after that it was called Jayakarta and finally it became Jakarta. Enought with this history thing..

1.44 PM
Typing email for clients, while chatting in YM conference room….again. It’s 2.49 PM now. I have already chatted for more than an hour. I’m getting sleepy. ASEAN hasn’t confirmed yet, Arrghhh I need that approval to achieve……..Well… that’s all I guess. I wanna update my profile on Friendster.
Am I Standing Still??? This next song is Jewel’s Standing Still, taken from Smallville season 1 episode 5--> Freeze. "Because whenever I need him, he's there. He makes me feel safe", Lana said to Clark...who could only stand in silence while the screen blacked out..end credit.

Standing Still by Jewel

Cutting through the darkest night are my two headlights
Try to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here
To the twilight
There's a dead end to my left
There's a burning bush to my right
You aren't in sight, You aren't in sight

Do you want me
Like I want you

chorus:
Or am I standing still
Beneath a darkened sky
Or am I standing still
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still
Out of the corner of my eye
Was that you passing me by


Mothers on the stoop
Boys in souped-up coupes
On this hot summer night
Between fight and flight
Is the blind man's sight
And a choice that's right
I roll the window down
Feel like I'm gonna drown in this strange town

Feel broken down
Feel broken down

Do you need me
Like I need you?

chorus

Sweet sorrow is a call tomorrow

Do you love me
Like I love you?

chorus


Oh you're passing me by
Passing me by
Do you need me
like I need you to
Do you want me
like I want you?
Or are you passing me by?
Or am I standing still?