Almost Lover

post #303

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

#
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Chorus:
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

#, Chorus

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Chorus



This red haired beauty....
Gorgeous, plays piano, writes song and sings them....

Those eyes....
those lips...
that voice
*sighhhh

I Can't Change The Way You Don't Feel

post #302

I've learned that I cannot make someone to love me
All I can do is to be someone that can be loved

I've learned that no matter how hard I try,
there are just some people who won't like me
Well...it's their choice...I can't change people's mind

I can't change the way they don't feel
I can't make them miss me the way I miss them
It's just something you feel or don't feel
What I can...is change the way I am...to be better



Tommy Page - I Can't Change The Way You Don't Feel

I believed I would see a day
You would want me like I want you
You would need me like I need you to
There was a moment I thought time might change your mind
And there'd be a place there for me in your life but

I can't change the way you don't feel
I can't make you see what your heart won't see
I can't make you need what you say you don't need
I can't change you baby
I can't change the way you don't feel

And now as I walk away
I won't look back I won't break down
What I was living for I'll have to live without
There will be moments I'll think how it might have been
But baby now this is how it must end cause

I can't change the way you don't feel
I can't make you see what your heart won't see
I can't make you need what you say you don't need
I can't change you baby
I can't change the way you don't feel

Oh I can't change the way you don't feel
I can't make you see what your heart won't see
I can't make you need what you say you don't need
I can't change you baby
Ain't never gonna change you baby
I can't change you baby
I can't change the way you don't feel

Ain't never ever gonna change you baby

Wake me up when September ends

post #301

I really need a holiday...away from all this
I wish I could just sleep...and wake up when September ends....

Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.

As my memory rests,
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars;
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.

As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends

Like my father's come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends.....

Come September

post #300

Lily : (walking towards Bart) What’s the big mystery? What are we doing here?
Bart : This is the first building I ever bought.
Lily : Well it’s quite impressive, you had a good eye, even back then.
Bart : Sometimes I like to come here, just to…feel how it felt the first time I saw it.
Lily : Well there’s a comfort in revisiting the things that we loved…when we were young.
Bart : But the truth is, I’m not that young man anymore. I think maybe I’ve outgrown this place and holding to it is keeping me from moving forward with what’s most important to me now. What do you think I should do?
Lily : (sadly) I think you should let it go.
Bart: I agree. Now can you do the same for me?
Lily: (nod with that expression on her face)


*sigh....yeah sometimes...in order to move forward, we had to (learn to) let go...even though we actually wanted to hold on to it....we didn't really want to let it go....because the memories it kept, the feelings it brought, the feelings it made us feel...it's not easy...but time was always on the move, it's always spinning...beside...we could cherish those memories...

Not easy as it may sound, but we had to...unless we wanted to live in the shadow of the past....

Reminded me of Peterpan's song...
Lepaskan segalanya...lepaskan segalanya... (Let go everything...let go everything)

Ahhhh....finally I watched Gossip Girl season 2. To my surprise, I missed the season finale. Realized it when I watched the season premiere, there were some unfamiliar scenes...hey I hadn't seen that...so I checked and it turned out that I hadn't really finished watching season 1. Silly me...lolzzz...

After few months overdue, I officially ended GG season 1..but the timing was impeccable since in the last episode, I found interesting lines, which I quoted at the beginning of this post. A delayed episode was watched at the time...when August had passed and September came. Coincidence? *Ermmmm....

Season 2 was still interesting just like season 1. What I like the most from GG and other serials was the scriptwriter wittiness. They're very creative in creating lively dialog, smart lines, and intriguing plots that kept the viewer ask for more and more....two thumbs up for them ;)


GG: They say summer love is fleeting, but sometimes what starts as a fling, can lead to the real thing.
Write a new ending to an old story
There are those who got burn by the heat, they just wanna forget and start over
While there are others who want each moment to last forever
But the end of the summer is the beginning of a new season, se we found ourselves looking to the future..
(I fell in love with you….every aching wound will cauterize and bruise, in memory of what we used to call “in love”…only time will tell if violin will swell…)

The song played at the end of season 2 premiere. Again, it just fit...the song, Dan-Serena situation with their in between condition...they're attracted to each other, but there were issues that kept them from being together....Oh yeah I should mention this also, the person who choose the song was brilliant. It really built the nuance and emphasized the story....*sigh

Only time that had the wisdom to know, to understand, and to tell...how the story went....
Because the rest was still....unwritten...who'd know how would the story go?
One thing for sure, it had gone so far....

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only in time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only in time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love lies?
Only in time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...


Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only in time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only in time...

Who knows?
Only in time...

Who knows?
Only in time...


And it's time to look to the future...
Summer time passed, come September
Summer loving had be a blast
Summer loving happened so fast
Summer days drifting away
Summer dreams ripped at the seams

Summer....learned a lot of lessons during that short period of time. Never thought of it...at all. God, You really had mysterious way in teaching us the lessons of life. Forgiveness, Thoughtfulness, Patience, Calmness. Put aside ego...think...think...think clearly...thoroughly, not always give in to emotions and in the spur of the moment actions. Realized how words, actions that were only driven solely by emotions might not be the best...that they might hurt the ones we cared about, the ones we loved, the ones that we're trying not to hurt....Regret always came too late.

We often (if not always) asked others (esp the ones who were close to us) to try to understand us, our condition...but I think we also need to consider that we ought to do the same, try to understand others....was it appropriate to give in to our emotions?....I believe sometimes, we had to be less emotional....think of the consequences of our words or actions. Took a little time to calm down before making any hasty decision. I think it's not a pretty sight to see the ones we loved and cared about was hurt by our own words or actions, simply because we lost temper. Nobody said it's easy to be emotionless...some might thought....Hey I'm emotional person...this is what I am...whether you accept it or not.... By saying so, would it also say that the person is selfish? It's not merely about a person's character, but that person's ability to interact with other people. I believe the ability to control our actions not to be always driven by emotions reflect the maturity level of a person.

Enough with the heavy bite....one thing that really made me happy today was Kenny G - Forever In Love. After more than a year if I wasn't mistaken, I had been trying to look for the song...finally got it this afternoon...yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... that's a thing with Kenny G's song. They tend not to have lyric, due to the fact that they're instrumental, so all I had was the melody, and it proved so difficult to find a song only based on melody....But now I got it.....instrumental music really soothing....relaxing....

Had a lot of homework since September came. TV serials were lining up. Heroes season 3 was premiered on Sept 22, 2008. Prison Break season 4 already reached episode 5. Chuck season 2 would be aired on September 29, 2008.... busy days ahead, captain.....wohoooo.....


GG : Love may fade with the season, but some friendship are year-round….

Friendship is not a big thing, it's a million of simple, little things.
I like the above quote. Friends, true friends would always be there for you, whenever you need a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, a laughter to share....
Summertime may passed, but there are some things that stayed...friends are one of those things.

爱像一阵风 吹完它就走
这样的节奏 谁都无可奈何
爱情来的太快就像龙卷风
离不开暴风圈 来不及逃
爱情走的太快就像龙卷风
不知不觉 你已经离开我
不知不觉 我跟了这节奏
后知后觉 又过了一个秋
后知后觉 我该好好生活



NKOTB - Summertime

[Verse 1] Joey McIntyre
Do you remember or should I rewind
To that summer when you caught my eye
I played it cool! the weather was hot!
You had the beauty and the beach on lock

[Verse 2] Donnie Wahlberg
With your flip flops half shirt, short shorts, mini skirt
Walkin' on the beach so pretty
You wasn't lookin' for a man when you saw me in the sand
But you fell for the boy from the city
(I was like)

[Verse 3] Jordan Knight
Hey girl can I get your number
I remember what you told me, too
Don't call after 10 but you know that I did
Cause I couldn't stop thinking bout you~~~~

Chorus:
I think about you in the summertime
And all the good times we had, baby
It's been a few years and I can't deny
The thought of you still makes me crazy
I think about you in the summertime
I'm sittin' here in the sun with you on my mind
(My summertime~~~)

[Verse 4] Joey McIntyre
Do you remember I¡¯ll never forget
Touchin' your body all soakin' wet
The water was cool! the feelin' was hot!
Kissin' on you while the ocean rocked

[Verse 5] Donnie Wahlberg
In your strapless sundress kickin' back, no stress
As long as we was together
Cause we were feelin' young love and we couldn't get enough
Baby I could reminisce forever
(And now I¡¯m like)

[Verse 6] Jordan Knight
Hey girl don't you know I miss it
And I wonder if you miss it, too
Never thought it would end til' it did now I'm here and I can't stop
Thinking bout you

Chorus:


Oh~~~
Summer ended winter started
It got colder when we parted ways (I like this part)
As the seasons change (Bring it front, bring it back)
Winter melted spring I felt it
Summertime will never be the same (Without you)
(My summertime~)
My summer time~~~~~~~~~~~

Chorus:



finished at almost midnite

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

post #299

Some live their dreams
Some chase their dreams all of their lives
Some watch their dreams shattered
Some give up their dreams


Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But It's only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish some one out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Aaah-ah
Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines what's
Fucked up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Aaah-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

Dreams Come True...?

post #298


Vassili Zaitsej : "It's sad to have a dream you know won't happen."

Dare to dream. Work hard, struggle, do everything you can to achieve the dreams. Succeed or die....What if we dream too high, expect too much but the dreams never came true.....they even seemed got further...harder to reach? Wouldn't be heartbreaking? Some people I know, wouldn't dare to dream because of this reason. Why bother dreaming if in the end it'd only lead you to disappointment?

Weren't we supposed to also look at ourselves and set dreams that were feasible to be realized? But...if that so...were they could still be called dreams?? Or were they just simply targets?

And if we hold back ourselves from dreaming, weren't we losing one motivator in living our lives? Weren't the dreams we had that helped us kept going...no matter how hard it seemed. Because we had hope, we had these dreams that we wanted to achieve...?

Beside in the end...I believe it didn't really matter whether you achieve them or not...but the journey itself mattered more....the lessons learned in chasing those dreams....friends, things we encountered, we experienced, laughters, tears, sweats...all in unique moments...

Tania : "Why shouldn't it?"

Another thing...we don't know the future...those dreams, Why shouldn't they come true? The ones that seemed impossible to reach, might be achieved... I think the risk of disappointment and hurt were quite insignificant compared to the joy when we reach those dreams....These weren't supposed to keep us from dreaming.

Above lines were taken from Enemy At The Gates. A very good movie. Took setting at WW II. Rachel Weisz looked so beautiful in it (as she always did...too bad she didn't join Brendan Fraser in Mummy III). Watched it on Saturday after took Elisha for the routine check up. She's on fire again afterward. The mechanic praised her engine sound that still like new one. Of course... I always gave her the best. Every cent I spent for her seemed really worth it. I wouldn't trade you for another, newer, sexier model, Elisha... I love youuuuuuuuuuu.....

Managed to pay the inet bill, before I forgot to do it. Took Karen to get her flat tire fixed. Relaxed a bit, then went to Gadink. Met a friend I haven't seen in almost a year...probably more than a year. She looked stunning. Her face was not as chubby as I remembered and oh boy.....I was reminded again how tall she was, plus white. Met her only for a few minutes, wanted to watch a movie...but not in the mood to watch alone so I just went back home after ate lunch.

Took an afternoon nap, something I haven't done lately. Woke up and got a call from Panda. Short story I went to Dante and we talked till Gadink closed. My other friend was also there with his friend. He realized that we're also at Dante when I sent him sms...lolzz...

Woke up early on Sunday and went to attend the first morning mass at my parish church. It felt good...it's been few months since I 'left' and attended mass on other churches, St. James mostly. Coincidentally (was it coincidence?), the pastor who presented the mass was a teacher. His sermon was good...talked about cross. Went to Mangga Dua Square, there's a family event there. I had an appointment with two friends at Gadink, so I left early, drove like crazy...about 30 minutes to Gadink. Probably it's because I drank about half of bottle of Red Wine...or was it more? Ermm...it's surely more than 10 glasses...I could feel my cheeks were getting red and warm...I drove like Schumi...lolzzz...

Arrived at Gadink a bit late (traffic was bad), watched Bangkok Dangerous...standard story, funny haricut...Charlie Young was ok...met this friend of mine again, talked for a bit...then went to Dante. Talked quite much about life, about how we often looked at other people and got jealous ....David's words somehow reminded me...knocked me a bit...yeah....thanks man....I love you guys!! Too bad Bowo couldn't join us. The second movie we watched was Babylon AD....so so...too many things skipped.

"Aku bukan siapa-siapa untukmu"
The Massiv's song accompanied our steps while we're walking down from the theater. Then another hit was sung... *sigh...I love live music

"Kau membuatku berantakan
Kau membuatku tak karuan
....
Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku..."

Then we went home...remembering we all had another weekdays to survive....Till next week guys...

Been watching lot of movies recently. TV serials were starting to queuing... it's September already. Gossip Girl, Prison Break...and Heroes season 3 would soon be aired....but with this hectic work schedule I had....I really had to manage my time carefully....today was one of the busiest days...so many things need to be done, newbies need to be supervised....argghhhhhhhhh.......I'd get through this...

Talking about dreams....last couple of days been dreaming bout her...so vivid, yet I didn't know what n why. Was it suppressed thoughts and emotions, making it's way from the unconsciousness dungeon, knocking every inch of my conscious mind walls? *sigh....

Vassili Zaitsej : "Afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about you. It made me smile. And then I thought, of all the men who would get to hold you, who'd make you laugh.....how lucky they were. And now I'm the one lying next to you."

In the end, Vassili's dream came true
Mine...still...
How bout yours?

No one knew I was looking at you
No one....



Tommy Page - I'm Always Dreaming of You

I remember noticing you
No one knew that I was looking at you
Kept a disguise for fear inside you didn't feel it too
Couldn't tell you what it was you did
Your presence made a standing still in time
Taken by your stare I said a prayer someday you'll be mine

Well someone was watching, someone was listening
someone answered me
Now that I found you I can't live without you baby
oh baby

I'm always dreaming of you
(I'm always dreaming of you)
You're on my mind
(you're on my mind)
everywhere I go
(everywhere I go)
and baby don't you know
just what my world's been going through
(just what my world's been going through)
I try to stop my thoughts
(try to stop my thoughts)
but that would be a lie
(that would be a lie)
and I can't deny it's true
I'm always dreaming of you
(I'm always dreaming of you)

Nothing seems to matter anymore
Everyone I meet is not you (no one compares to you)
Life's not the same
I don't complain now that love feels true

Well someone was watching, someone was listening
someone answered me
Now that I found you I can't live without you baby
oh baby

I'm always dreaming of you
(I'm always dreaming of you)

You're on my mind
(you're on my mind)
everywhere I go
(everywhere I go)
and baby don't you know
just what my world's been going through
(just what my world's been going through)
I try to stop my thoughts
(try to stop my thoughts)
but that would be a lie
(that would be a lie)
and I can't deny it's true
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you

You're on my mind
(you're on my mind)
everywhere I go
(everywhere I go)
and baby don't you know
just what my world's been going through
(just what my world's been going through)
I try to stop my thoughts
(try to stop my thoughts)
but that would be a lie
(that would be a lie)
and I can't deny it's true
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you
I'm always dreaming of you

Songs From Saturday

post #297

Been meaning to write this since last weekend, but it's very hard to find the time. A quick recap of one of the most busiest weekend. Got up, had an SMS from Silvi. Went to Juanda, got the car license renewed. Ate Kwetiauw...took a short nap...attended afternoon mass. A good sermon about prayers are answered. The point was that God granted prayers that were social, and He granted the essence of the prayers, not really the every perfect inch details of the things we asked Him.

On my way to Gadink from St James church, I heard Peterpan - Walau Habis Terang was being #1 at Sonora. Earlier in the morning I heard Joy Enriquez - How Can I Not Love you on the radio. Then at Gadink, I heard this band performed very well. The first song I heard was Rod Stewart - I Don't Wanna Talk About It....the vocalist's voice was very good...

Played futsal...got the not so good pitch. Managed to score thirteen goals and an assist though I was still a bit tired. Then went to Gadink to watch Hellboy premiere on midnite. Actually I turned Winy's offer, but she still bought me the ticket anyway, so I went. The movie was quite good, reminded us once again to be more sensible toward the nature, towards earth (similar moral message like Wall-E). Enough proportion of action, comedy, and a bit of drama....nice

On Sunday, went to Gadink again, this time we watched Death Race. After that had a chat at Dante...went to NAV and went karaoke for two hours....whatta weekend...Then the torture came on Monday. It's getting busier...had to guide newcomers....more responsibility....

Picking up mom at the doctor reminded me of her. It's been almost a year...or was it more than a year...when we often talk...then saw a young couple with their baby....the young mom reminded me of another her. Her face, her posture, her hair....*sigh They seemed happy....simple and happy.

Dunno why I've become very forgetful lately. Forgot to drink the medicine. It irritated my mom since she already prepared it for me. Forgot to pay the CC and other bills...oopss...so many things I've forgotten...was it all because of work?? Gosh...what happened to me?? I have to keep an agenda I think. On Wednesday....a prayer I prayed was starting to be answered. God always gives the best for us. Reminded me of the pastor sermon on Saturday...we just sometimes don't realize that our prayers are actually answered, in His time, His way. Thank You, God for that...I leave it all to You.

So many things happened and I had to concentrate more on work at these times...boyyy...it's so exhausting....and the road was still long... *sigh Life in mono...only few songs that gave me some color...songs I heard from Saturday...

Browsed through a friend's FS profile and read this...it's so beautiful that I decided to copast it here. Sometimes (if not often), our kindness, honesty, contributions are misjudged, misinterpreted by other people around us...but it should not stop us from being kind, honest, and do good to others. Simple things, if not well communicated with clear mind can lead to misunderstanding...and the bad thing was it usually leaves an impression that will affect how other people perceive us. We're given this label which might be not a good one due to the misunderstanding and it stays with us....Heck, even sincere people were questioned...and this label is hard to be peeled off...

Well....In the end, it's between you and God (if you believe in the idea)....it was never between you and them (other people) anyway...
Just do your best, be yourself, the best of you...time will reveal everything


People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis
it is between you and God;
it was never between you and them...ANYWAY..

*This poem is engraved on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta.