post #246
!@$%#%$#^%#@!#$(*&^%
Just when I started to enjoy this little 'holiday', scheming some plans...boom came this surprising news. Apparently I had to ended my holiday lot sooner than I'd expected. Darn!!!
Yeah that's the thing about life. Just when you thought everything went well, as planned, as expected, there's something to spoil it. These last few days felt like a (very beautiful) dream. I felt this kind different of calm, like having something that's been missing in my life. It filled the hole and gave colors to this monochrome life of mine. I think I always keep my guard, play cool, and be in control to keep myself from hurting. But my fortress had been breached. The walls were crumbled, I'm helplessly falling into something. I lost my emotional safety net. I'm losing my mind and I don't think it's clever. It's blurry.
Am I in too deep..? Have I lost my mind?.... Well I don't care, you're here...tonight...
Time....oh please I really need more time for this. It's been so long since the last time I put myself in the line, risking it all, jumping into the water without analyzing the depth, the current, the temperature, was there any shark in the water, had I brought enough oxygen tanks to breath, what would happen if I lose my breath, and so on....
It's like I'm under a spell. Will it fade away as time goes by? What will happen when the spell fade away? I don't want it to fade, not now. How can I keep it, make it last? How can I if there isn't enough time....*sigh...Maybe I'm just worrying too much...maybe I'm just stuck with my own thought of prepare for the worst...I dunno....
Anda's song is playing atm...
Teruntukmu hatiku, ingin ku bersuara
Merangkai semua tanya, imaji yang terlintas
Berjalan pada satu tanya slalu mengangguku
Seseorang….. itukah dirimu, Kasih?
Kepada yang tercinta inginnya kumengeluh
Semua resah di diri, mencari jawab pasti
Akankah seseorang yang kuimpikan kan hadir?
Raut halus menyelimuti jantungku
Reminded me of yesterday. Went to my aunt's house, a cousin was selling chicken noodle there. His mom came by to visit along with his son and helped him out a little since he's new in the business. Spent a couple of hours watching them. It's very contrast with the usual view I had, ie: laptop screen, client's office and employees, colleagues. It seemed so nice to have that simple life. Time....give me more time.....
And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
!@$%#%$#^%#@!#$(*&^%
Just when I started to enjoy this little 'holiday', scheming some plans...boom came this surprising news. Apparently I had to ended my holiday lot sooner than I'd expected. Darn!!!
Yeah that's the thing about life. Just when you thought everything went well, as planned, as expected, there's something to spoil it. These last few days felt like a (very beautiful) dream. I felt this kind different of calm, like having something that's been missing in my life. It filled the hole and gave colors to this monochrome life of mine. I think I always keep my guard, play cool, and be in control to keep myself from hurting. But my fortress had been breached. The walls were crumbled, I'm helplessly falling into something. I lost my emotional safety net. I'm losing my mind and I don't think it's clever. It's blurry.
Am I in too deep..? Have I lost my mind?.... Well I don't care, you're here...tonight...
Time....oh please I really need more time for this. It's been so long since the last time I put myself in the line, risking it all, jumping into the water without analyzing the depth, the current, the temperature, was there any shark in the water, had I brought enough oxygen tanks to breath, what would happen if I lose my breath, and so on....
It's like I'm under a spell. Will it fade away as time goes by? What will happen when the spell fade away? I don't want it to fade, not now. How can I keep it, make it last? How can I if there isn't enough time....*sigh...Maybe I'm just worrying too much...maybe I'm just stuck with my own thought of prepare for the worst...I dunno....
Anda's song is playing atm...
Teruntukmu hatiku, ingin ku bersuara
Merangkai semua tanya, imaji yang terlintas
Berjalan pada satu tanya slalu mengangguku
Seseorang….. itukah dirimu, Kasih?
Kepada yang tercinta inginnya kumengeluh
Semua resah di diri, mencari jawab pasti
Akankah seseorang yang kuimpikan kan hadir?
Raut halus menyelimuti jantungku
Reminded me of yesterday. Went to my aunt's house, a cousin was selling chicken noodle there. His mom came by to visit along with his son and helped him out a little since he's new in the business. Spent a couple of hours watching them. It's very contrast with the usual view I had, ie: laptop screen, client's office and employees, colleagues. It seemed so nice to have that simple life. Time....give me more time.....
And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
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