World Clock

Monday, September 24, 2007

Wish list

post #190

Lately I've been lingering with these gadgets...

1. Dell XPS 1330 ( around $1600)
Light weight yet powerful, beautifully designed laptop from Dell



2. Ipod Classic 80GB( $265)

Although it's not as alluring as the one which was used as clothes by Marissa Miller, this slim beauty still has its inevitable appeal to those music freaks...such as me...


3. Nokia 6120 Classic and Nokia E51 ( maybe around $350)

I've been waiting for my 3rd (and last) cell phone I'll ever buy...The moment has arrived to say goodbye to my beloved N6600 that has been very loyal to me for the past three years.



















4. Webcam ( $50)

It would be nice to have nice face to face chat with this baby ;p




















5. Italian Jersey and Futsal Shoes ( $36 and $32)

A wonderful memory when Italy won its 4th World title last year. One of the most unforgettable win of course when they faced Germany in the semi final, just a minute away from penalty shoot out, which Italy has not so good reputation at, Pirlo brilliantly slipped the ball to Grosso who scored with a curving shot. And in the midst of their ferocious attempt to get level, Del Piero really silenced Germany fans with his beautiful goal that left Lehman rooted to the spot. Italy 2, Germany 0. Italy went to final and ended up beating France through dramatic penalty shoot out which all Italy players succeeded in finding the net while Trezeguet, France hero in Euro 2000 saw his shoot bounced back from the horizontal bar but unlike Zidane's earlier shoot, it bounced out. ITALIA, Il Campione del Mondo!!!!!! I can still feel the euphoria that time...The adrenaline explosion that rushed through my veins....The smell of victory...so delicioussss






































These items sum up to $2333... :|

Do I need all of them? No. What I need the most is probably the shoes. Darn, this is the problem with human. We always want more...wanting....wanting...wanting....

I wishh....upon a star...lolzzz

Quotes

Post #189

Dunno why I have this urge to write some quotes I have remembered since I found them quite intriguing...

- You can if you think you can
- People do not plan to fail, they just fail to plan
- Women give sex to get love while men give love to get sex
- Women forgive but never forget; Men forget but never forgive
- Between endless hope and hopeless end
- When the going gets tough, the tough gets going
- Don't marry the one you can live with, marry the one you can't live without
- If you cannot be with the one you love, love the one you can be with
- You cannot make someone to love you, all you can do is be someone that can be loved
- An optimist would say, nothing is impossible. A confident would say, impossible is nothing! (Damn this quote is good)

Well...that's about it at the moment
Ermm...reminded me of an email a colleague sent to all personnel in our Jakarta office. After 2 years and 4 months (I still remember it clearly), he will be moving to Accenture office in Melbourne this October. Dang!!! I read the email carefully.... I was drooling..... My mind flew back to January 2002 while I was watching F4 Fantasy Forever concert. I can...can't I?

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The 'L' Word

post #188

A little addition to the F words I managed to list on my previous post: File, Figure, Food, Faith, Fly, False, Frozen, Face, Fortune, Faint, Flip, Ferocious, Frown, Facade, Fruit, Fresh, Flank and Futsal!
Last saturday I played futsal again with some friends of mine. Dunno what got into me...maybe it's the emotions I need to express...I scored 6 goals that nite with still injured ankle. It's like arrrggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! But it felt good. After playing, we went to get some food. The 13 of us ended up eating fried rice in front of Gadink Mall. It was around 11 sth PM so there're only few people.... That nite, I slept like a baby.

This week highlights are probably the revelation I had about a girl that has been my cyber friend for more than a year. All this time she never willing to reveal her self (by reveal I mean to let me know what she looks like). I understand she has trust issue and with the history I have with her I thought that she'll only be a faceless friend whom I can have nice chats and exchange thoughts. I didn't know what move her to let me know what she looks like. She even gave me a link to her blog. It took me by surprise....
First I never, even in my wildest dream thought that she would give her blog link. I have asked about it a dozen times (maybe more) and she always refused. I respect her decision and content myself with these chats. My curious (and sometimes annoying) mind asked one question I could think of. What made her change her mind? unfortunately I'm not a mind reader and I quit playing mind games...so I just accept it without 'thorough investigation'....
Second, her pic was really really different with the images I have about her. Images that have been dancing around in my mind. They're all shattered in a moment when I saw her pic. She looked ingenuous, 180 degrees different with what I have expected...a cold, smart, sadistic with a little twist of bithcy-ness...The saying 'look can be deceiving' has proved it's validity once again. Never judge a book from its cover. Problem is.. I've seen the book content all the time while the cover itself still kept in the dark...;p
Third; I read her blog and I can learn more about her. I think from a blog we can read a person's character, how he/she thinks, how he/she perceives this world, this life. We're quite similar. We're both a pdf. I just quite surprised to read some of her posts. Never considered her character like that. She's really something.

Reminds me of Roxette's song that I posted some times ago...
'..and she has kept me wondering for so long...how did thing could go wrong...it seems to me that we are both the same...playing the same game....but as darkness falls this true love falls apart into a riddle of her heart...She's so vulnerable...'

About the 'L' word. Got a few that I could think of, first of all I wanna use Lesson. What lesson have I learned from all this? Persistence? Patience? Hey...it took more than a year for her to finally open up. There's saying from the legendary Godfather movie...True power cannot be given...it MUST be taken.... Well, I've come up with my own saying...trust cannot be given...it MUST be earned. But again like I've writtend in my previous post back then...at the end of the day, it still depends on the person itself whether that person choose to trust or not. There's nothing we can do except prove our trustworthiness.

Life, Live, Learn, Lesson, Lie, Love, Lust, Last, Lost, List, Least, Linger, Limb, Like, Lips, Lose, Loose, Loop, Leap, Lump, Lure, Lurk, Lung, Long, Lot, Let, Lit, Law, Less, Look, Lap, Listen, Length, Leech, Laugh, Lamb, Lamp, Lizard, Light, Lingerie ...

Life...Never ending, lifetime learning lessons...

Anw...wanna say happy birthday to three beautiful girls whose birthdays fell on this week. Happy Birthday to Lorena, Shelley and Clara.. wish you all the best in life...

Last nite I attended a prayer gathering again...after soooooo long caught up with so many things. Sang this song that I almost forget....This morning I also attended a mass in my parish church, after almost two months went to St. James church in Kelapa Gadink. There's a sentimental nuance I felt when I stepped into the church. Maybe I was just being sentimental since I've known and been in this church since I was in kindergarten...or maybe I was just missing the athmosphere that I didn't feel at St. James...

Now I must use my last week on Woodside project to finish all the TDs and prepare for BP project...It's gonna be working like crazy again after this brief moment of blowing off some steam out of my engine... This is for You, my Lord...


Hillsongs - King of Majesty

You know that I love you,
You know that I want to know you so much more,
More than I have before

These words are, from my heart,
These words are, not made up,
I will live for you, I am devoted to you,

Pre-Chorus:
King of Majesty
I have one desire
Just to be with you my Lord,
Just to be with you my Lord,

Chorus:
Jesus you are the Saviour of my soul
And forever and ever I'll give my praises to you,
Jesus you are the Saviour of my soul
And forever and ever I'll give my praises to you,

Bridge:
Jesus you are the Saviour of my soul(echo)
And forever and ever I'll give my praises to you(echo)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The 'F' Word

Post # 187

First, Follow, Fear, Future, Finish, Father, Figure, Final, Four, Fantasy, Fantastic, Fury, Feisty, Friends, Forever, Four, Fling, Flirt, Flow, Flower, Flaw, Flick, Fire, Fish, Fist, Foe, Feign, Fraud, Felon, Fool, Fold, Fu*k, Fuse, Fuel, Fang, Fart, Fast, Finite, Fiend, Fond, Fox, Fever, Flail, Flavor, Fan, Fat, Fuzzy, Flake, Fake, For, Frog, Fun, Fin, Fund, Font, Front, Foot, Fail, Fly, Fix, Fierce, Fur, Find, Fend, Fairy, Fine....

Hmmm....what else?

There are sooooooooooooo many things have happened in my dormant period of blogging. I don't even know where or how to begin. First, it's very fantastic that I got promoted per September 1, 2007. It took me by surprise because I never really thought that I'd be promoted that fast. All my hard work was paid off. After I got the notification, I realized once again that result goes along with effort. More effort means more result. Welldone, another resolution achieved.

These last few weeks seems like a very beautiful dream to me. It almost swept me off my feet. The times we had, the things we did together, the laughs we shared, simple moments we spent together. They're all too good to be true, but like any other dreams it finally ended, no matter how hard I want it to stay like that. There are things that make it hard to become real, to last. Though it's brief, I really do cherish it. Yet it ended...maybe it's for the best for both of us. We're hurt but we're moving on. Reminds me of Serendipity tagline, "Can once in a lifetime happens twice?" I dunno, but I do know one thing for sure. I really wish you all the best in your life, Princessa...I won't forget you...

Princessa - I Won't Forget You

The fading light of day lingers on your sleeping face
My lover's lullaby lately lost its tender grace
Somewhere in your dreams tonight
Let my lips come close to you and hold me tight
After all I hardly bear
To turn my back to loving arms and leave you there

Chorus:
Baby, I won't forget you
And I won't regret you
I won't forgive you
Anymore, no more

We said our first hello beneath a blue umbrella sky
A simple moment shared by strangers who were passing by
People say when you're in love
It seems as if tomorrow almost never comes, no never comes
After all your loving touch
Through my eyes of love to me it means so much
And that's why

Chorus:
I wont forget you
And I won't regret you
I won't forgive you
Anymore, no more
I won't forget you
And I never let you
Anymore, no more

Chorus

I won't regret you...your eyes, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your touch, your scent, your kisses...So soft they ache my heart


I still remember vividly the song you gave me, the one song that reminds me of you and the inevitable reality of us.


Dygta - Tak Bisa Memiliki

Bila...
Waktuku tersisa
Untuk s'lalu di sisi
Menjaga hatimu

Aku...
'Kan s'lalu mencoba
Berikan yang terbaik
Untuk kau miliki

Tapi maafkan aku
Waktuku hanya sesaat

reff:
Aku tak bisa memiliki
Menjaga cintamu
Walau sesungguhnya hatiku mencintaimu, memilikimu
Aku tak ingin kau terluka
Mencintai aku
Hapuslah air matamu dan lupakan aku

Sendiri
Di batas asaku
Hanya ingin kau bahagia
Jalani hidupmu

Aku
'Kan s'lalu mencoba
Berikan yang terbaik
Untuk kau miliki

Tapi maafkan aku
Waktuku hanya sesaat

reff

Tapi maafkan aku
Waktuku hanya sesaat

reff (2x)
...


Sheila on 7 - Dan

Dan...

Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala dimana kau bisa bercanda
Dan...
Perlahan kaupun, lupakan aku
Mimpi burukmu
Dimana t'lah kutancapkan duri tajam
Kaupun menangis, menangis sedih
Maafkan aku...

#
Dan...
Bukan maksudku, bukan inginku
Melukaimu sadarkah kau di sini 'kupun terluka
Melupakanmu, menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Reff
Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala
caci maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala


#, Reff


Well, I guess it's time I use the last F word I can think of....today.....
Farewell Princessa, thank you for everything you've given me

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Happy Bithday, Mom

post #186

Happy Birthday to a very special woman in my life, my mom.

Thank you for your unconditional love all this time. I'd be lost without your love.

There are some much I've learned from her. Some of basic things in life, such as hardwork, honesty, sincerity, kind to others..etc. She always seems to have boundless energy when it comes to take care of her family. It's like one of her life mission is to nurture her children the best she can. She always put us ahead of herself. Sometimes I wonder where does she get all the energy to do all the things, all the chores she does. Maybe it's her love that gives her strength to do it all. That's why on this occasion, allow me to say thank you for everything you've done, mom....I know these words aren't enough to express my gratitude and love for you, but I'm pretty sure there are no words will be enough to say it.

I'd like to dedicate these songs just for you, mom. I hope I can be the perfect son.


Sheila On 7 - Just For My Mom

Sometimes I feel my heart so lonely but it's ok
No matter how my girl just left me and I just don't care
Whenever the rain comes down and it's seems there's no one to hold me
She's there for me, its she's my mom

(Repeat)
Just for my mom, I write my song
Just for my mom, I sing this song
Its just for mom, can wipe my tears
Its just my mom, can only here

Trap in a subway, can't remember the day but I feel ok
Damped in damn situation, in every condition with no conclusion
Whenever the rain comes down and it's seems there's no one to hold me
She's there for me, its she's my mom

You may say I have no one,to cover me under the sun
You only get it from your mom



Backstreet Boys - Perfect Fan

It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big thing but the little things
That can mean enough
A lot of players to get me through
There is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed


You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan


God has been so good
With blessing me with the family
Who did all they could
And I've had many years of Grace
And it flatters me when i see a smile on your face
I wanna thank you for what you've done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son


You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan


You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
And showed me that you would always be there
I wanna thank you for the time
And i'm proud to say you're mine


You showed me
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me everything that i should know
You showed me just how to walk without your hands
'Cause mom you always were the perfect fan


'Cause Mom you always were, Mom you always were
Mom you always were...the perfect fan


I Love You Mom


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Goodbye Hunny

post #185

It's over. No more lingering...Well, what do you expect? Who do you think you're fooling, you stupid man....Why do I still keep all of her messages back from last October? Do I secretly lean on a tiny hope that I could be the man that deserve her? That I could be good enough.....

The moment had slipped away....There's nothing left to say....
Darn....my heart still aching...need some relief.....
I can only cherish that moment...until it fades away in time...if it ever fade

Peterpan ~ Hari Yang Cerah Untuk Jiwa Yang Sepi

pagi biar kusendiri
jangan kau mendekat
wahai matahari
dingin hati yang bersedih
tak begitu tenang
mulai terabaikan

hari yang cerah untuk jiwa yang sepi
begitu terang untuk cinta yang mati
ah… ku coba bertahan dan tak bisa

kubu langit kelabuku
tak begitu luas
seperti memudar
kini tak terulang lagi
di hari yang cerah
dia telah pergi

hari yang cerah untuk jiwa yang sepi
ahh… ku coba bertahan dan tak bisa
ahh… mencoba melawan ku lepas
hari yang cerah untuk jiwa yang sepi…
begitu terang untuk jiwa yang mati

ahh… kucoba bertahan dah tak bisa
ahh… mencoba melawan ku lepas
semua telah hilang ….
semua telah ….


You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

There's nothing left to say but goodbye ...


July 11, 2007 @ 8.45 PM
I'm content....(Am I???) we talked and it was like nothing has changed...except the fact that the hope to have her, to hold her...to call her mine has vanish... Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Yesterday I was still overwhelmed I decided to go home early, since it's obvious I couldn't work well in such condition. Instead, I read again our chat log..reliving the moment that would never come back...Why do you cling to the past? Coz past is all I have?
Am I not selfish enough not to want her so bad....to be content with this....I just can't hate her....no reason for it....Her warmth left me helpless...maybe because I care for her and realize it's for the better...?

Emotions....such a great power....just have to channel this vast energy to something constructive....like bury myself in work? yeah right...Well...this agony that's eating me from the inside will fade eventually....another lesson learned from this....

Saturday, July 07, 2007

I'm Not Your Everything

post #184

"...Engkau bukanlah segalaku
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu..."


played on my ear when I was trying to call her about 2 weeks ago. I was stunned coz it catchy, easly listening and I was sure I'd had heard it before. I was sure that it's Peterpan song (I recognized Ariel's voice and singing style) but I didn't know the title. I even called her twice just to listen to the lyric, since she didn't pick up...then at that very night, I searched for this song, got it from multiply and since then I've been addicted to it.

It felt like she was trying to say something with the song.....to me. Maybe I was just reading too much into it...Dunno...my logical mind has been battling with emotions these days and it's been losing...My emotions got the best of me....is it a good thing? Not sure bout it.


"You know I'm such a fool for you...You got me wrapped around your fingers...Do you have to let it linger...do you have to....do you have to...do you have to let it linger?"


We had quite long talk the other day, it's always nice to hear her voice....she said she thought someone who hasn't been in a relationship for so long (ie...me) usually either too picky or has something wrong. Well, what if I'm both? Have I been such a successful pdf that I pseudo-unconciously have a reluctancy to start something, to be in status quo.

Maybe I was trying too hard to rekindle the moment we had, a brief moment when I fell...But now she's the one that leaves me in doubt. We had a talk about this before and we came to a consensus about how things supposed to go. But after all these times, I never thought that I'd lose my mind...


I said I wasn’t gonna lose my head, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
I wasn’t gonna fall in love again, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
And I just can’t let you go,
I can’t lose this feeling.


Have I been trying too hard to rekindle that moment we had? I still remember her words at that time, maybe we were just carried away....it's all maybe...tried to talk but it's always been my weakness to express my thoughts verbally in serious context....why we're still in status quo... We need to move on.... I need to move on...

She read my MSN status where I quoted Gwen's song....

"And all I know is...You've got to give me everything...Nothing less 'cause...You know I give you all of me"


what if all of me is not good enough for her?

"...but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that"

Yes, she deserves more than that. I wrote on my previous blog, yes you like somebody and let say hypothetically the feeling is mutual, then what? I've been giving lots of thoughts and maybe some of them are too far ahead.....too focused on the compatibility issues...


Could I be good enough
Could I be good enough
If the going got worse
And the worse got rough
The days became endless
And harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best
Would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give
Doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell that could be good enough


Am I good enough for her? Am I better than the best?
Never thought that my fortress wall can be crumbled without being noticed. But that's ok, it has been repaired now. Dunno the rest of the story...coz it's still unwritten and though I have a little confidence, this doubt is still irritating.....will it end like James Blunt's song? I'll leave it up to you....God

"But it's time to face the truth...I will never be with you..."


A little recap, works been great, got ahead of the schedule, played bowling yesterday plus went home early, watched Music n Lyric on Tuesday...a great movie. And another great news I got today was that Livia's three months pregnant....wowwwww......congratss......!!!!

Last week I finally went karaoke with my buds and of course the first song that I sing was Peterpan - Menghapus Jejakmu. Here's the cover version....by me.

"...Aku bukanlah segalamu
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahmu
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar kucoba hapus jejakmu..."


Peterpan – Menghapus Jejakmu (cover version by me)

Terus melangkah melupakanmu
Lelah hati perhatikan sikapmu
Jalan pikiranmu buatku ragu
Tak mungkin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu
Kucoba untuk terus menjauh
Perlahan hatiku terbelenggu
Kucoba untuk lanjutkan itu

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

Terus melangkah melupakanmu
Belah hati perhatikan sikapmu
Jalan pikiranmu buatku ragu
Tak mungkin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu
Kucoba untuk terus menjauh
Perlahan hatiku terbelenggu
Kucoba untuk lanjutkan itu

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

Lepaskan segalanya
Lepaskan segalanya

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana


my own revised version of the lyric


Divine Distinction -
Hapus Jejakku

Berat langkahku menepikanmu
Bukan maksud ‘tuk bersikap begitu
Ingin kuungkapkan isi hatiku
Kuingin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi berangsur memudar
Kucoba simpan bayang wajahmu
Perlahan hati mulai meragu
Kucoba terus kecap hangatmu

Aku bukanlah segalamu
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahmu
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hatimu hapus jejakku

Berat langkahku menepikanmu
Bukan maksud ‘tuk bersikap begitu
Ingin kuungkapkan isi hatiku
Kuingin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi berangsur memudar
Kucoba simpan bayang wajahmu
Perlahan hati mulai meragu
Kucoba terus kecap hangatmu

Aku bukanlah segalamu
Bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahmu
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hatimu hapus jejakku

Lepaskan segalanya
Lepaskan segalanya

Aku bukanlah segalamu
Ada yang lebih baik untuk kamu
Usai sudah semua berlalu
Biar hatimu hapus jejakku

Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana
Nanananana



 

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