I’m overwhelmed by all the things that happened lately. For this trilogy I’m gonna use my native language which is Indonesian (but I still mainly use English). My last post was right before I went to New Life in the Spirit retreat. The retreat itself was a mind-blowing experience. My last retreat before this one was back in my third n final year in high school. It was also an unforgettable experience.
….(silence)….. It’s really hard for me to decide where to begin….Well, I better begin with the New Life In the Spirit Retreat. Like I said earlier, it was incredible. Lots of things happened during the retreat. The peaceful environment (Maybe that’s why people like to go out of the city) gave new energy. Met this attractive girl there. I was quite mesmerized by this girl. She was…ermmm…let’s say hyperactive….she’s a total sanguine and I was attracted by her sincerity. She’s so naïve… (in good way)..and later I found out that she’s only 15 (I found out after I asked her to fill in her data in my book)….No wonder. Well, she’s very friendly….to everybody….yeah…..why am I babbling like this…the point is she’s a very attractive girl but she’s too young for me… (at least that’s what I think)..and too popular…and also she's too childish...what can I say....she's just 15..That’s why I didn’t make any approach, I managed to control my feelings….I thought a lot about the possibility of us being together…n about the prospect….maybe I was thinking too far ahead….but I don’t want to be just caught in the moment without giving at least some consideration about where it would lead….Which remind me of this one question that people still haven’t found the answer that can satisfied everyone coz everybody has their own answer. What is Love?
Switch to Indo…
Buset deh…baru bisa nerusin nulis postingan blog ini pas di penghujung bulan. Sekarang tanggal 30 September, n postingan blog ini mulai ditulis dari tanggal 5 September. Okay setelah retret. Okay, abis retret orang TELKOM pada training. Ada 2 batch, yang pertama pas tanggal 12-16 September. Pas tanggal 16, staf Ford Foundation juga training, jadi seminggu itu sibuk banget ngurusin orang training. Ga ada waktu sama sekali buat update blog.
Not to mention that my phone line was dead since I got back from the retreat. But it actually gave me the time I needed to read holy bible. Yeah…can you believe that? I’m reading a bible….wow…something that really need steel determination…Well anyway, I guess that what’s called blessings in disguise. God wanted me to have the time I need to know HIM better and with the dead phone line, He ensured I wouldn’t get distracted. Sometimes we have to see from a different angle to understand, to see the bright side, coz the way we see things will affect the way we think and act. At this moment I already finished till Luke. I started reading new testaments from September 5 and still continuing. What made me have this new spirit in reading bible? It’s none other because of this remarkable lady, Ci Sia. She’s one of the speakers on the New Life in The Spirit Retreat. In the last day she said something to me that really inspire, though it’s simple but it really gave me the push (I need) to read bible. It’s very amazing how God touches us through other people.
The week after that, 19-23 September 2005 was quite dull. Have I mentioned that I have a new sales manager? Yeah…now I have a new “boss”…..hehehehe. He joined the company work for at beginning of Sept…he was sales too couple of years ago. So far so good. At Sunday, September 18, 2005 I went to Glodok n bought 24 seas 4. Yeah!!!!! The DVDs were all there…so that week (19-25) was 24 week. I only slept for 5 hours that week. And to close that crazy week, at Sunday, 25 September 2005, I went to NAV I with David n Peppy. We sang for 2 hours plus 2 pitcher of beers ..It was GREAT. It’s been a while since we last went put together especially with Peppy. Unfortunately Agus couldn’t join us coz he’s in Bandung at the moment. In the afternoon I went to attend mass at FX.
This week….another TELKOM class, the 2nd batch that I mentioned earlier….yesterday I had a meeting with Frisian Flag..The office was far from my office…I will have a lunch with the TELKOM staffs today…
Okay, back to the main topic, what is love? It’s a question with a million answers, maybe more. I believe each of us has our own definition of love. How can you tell when you’re in love? When you wanna be with a person all the time? When you can’t stop thinking about that person? When you feel like there’re million butterflies in your stomach every time you’re near that person? When you feel like you would do anything for that person? When you feel safe around a person? When your heart beats a million times (okay, maybe not a million) faster whenever that person’s around? How long it takes to fall in love? First sight? First date? First kiss? A week? A Month? A Year? How can you be sure that you’re in love? Is it true that love is blind? About my case with that girl (back to the beginning of this post), I think it’s just a temporary attraction. I don’t fall in love easily. I guess my love is not a blind one. I always think about the relationship very thoroughly. I don’t want just to jump and see for myself. I prefer have some kind of view about where the relationship will lead. Hmmmm…..lots of questions and I personally can’t describe what love is. I guess I can say that love can be felt, but can’t be defined…one thing for sure, I don’t believe love at first sight, lust at first sight is much more possible. But then again, it’s just me.. I’m sure there’re lots of people who believe in love at first sight, who have experienced love at first sight. How can that be? Once again back to the love definition itself. We have our own definition and standard of love. My definition/standard of love may not be the same with even my best friend’s. We all grew up in different environments which make our characteristics unique. Those differences make us see things in different perspective.
In Indonesian we have another word that can be used as synonym of love. The word is sayang. We surely love our friends and in Indonesian I can say that “aku menyayangi teman-temanku”. That’s why in my opinion love is much more intense than “sayang”. The most appropriate example is God’s love. His love is unconditional one. Our parents love us unconditionally too. They don’t care if we’re good or bad, they just love us. I read a person once wrote this, “My parents can not like me, but they always love me”.
Well my head is starting to get overload with all these stuffs. The point is, love is an essential part in life. I’m sure we all experienced love in our own way. We need love in our life. Life without love is not life at all. And I also believe that a simple gesture can show other that we love them. Give a little love to everybody, brighten up their lives. If we all do that, I’m sure the world will be a better place to live.
Right now I really love this song, one of two songs that I love the most back in the retreat. Thanks to Eddy who share this song with me. Like I mentioned in my previous post, the more we give thanks, the more blessings God gives.
Bersyukurlah Pada Tuhan
Halleluya kumemujimu Tuhan
Karena kasihMu tak berkesudahan
Biarlah yang bernafas memuji sang Raja
Di atas bumi dan di dalam samudra
Tanganku kuangkat padaMu
Mensyukuri rahmat yang Kau beri
Kakiku melompat bagiMu
Sebab rahmatMu baru setiap pagi
Bersyukurlah kepada Tuhan
Sebab Ia baik, sebab Ia baik
Bahwasanya untuk selamanya
Kasih setiaNya, kasih setiaNya
