Everybody's Changing

post #241

"..Since everybody's changing
And I don't know why..."

That line from Keane's song, Everybody's Changing played on my mind while I was driving home from Artha Gadink Mall on Sunday afternoon. Earlier, when I was shopping at Diamond I stumbled with a high school friend. Well I didn't see him, he's the first who saw and called me. We had a little chit chat and it turned out that he's shopping with his wife. Yeah, his wife. He'd been married since September 2007. I was like wowww.....the news kinda surprised me. One by one, all of my friends were getting married and me....still stuck with work....

The other surprising news I received was on Monday. One of my colleague's resigning and moving to Singapore. She joined later than me, but she's 'graduating' faster....Wowwwww....

"...Or am I standing still?
Beneath the darkened sky
Or am I standing still?
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still?
Out of the corner of my eye
Was that you that passed me by"

Everybody's changing and nothing stays the same...Everybody's moving on... Am I standing still? I'm changing also, at least I'm getting older everyday....crankier(?)....this mortal body is dying with each breath I take.

*sigh.....still have quite a long way to go on my journey. When will this search ever end...

Lize once asked me with this unbelievably long working hours, when will I have time for dating, for a gf, for a relationship? Hmmmmm.......I even changed my YM status few days ago during these crazy weeks to :

"Let me introduce you my gf, she's exciting, exhausting, possessive, needy, time consuming, and her name is work..."

Lize teased me by saying that I should get less demanding gf....

Changes...the only constant thing in this life....


Keane - Everybody's Changing

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Since everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Ooo...
Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Too little or too much?

post #240

Whoooaaaaaaaaaa..........finally have the time (and energy) to add another entry. It's probably the most exhausting and fastest two working weeks I've ever experienced. I could only recognize Monday and Friday....Friday was like... YEAHHH!!!! Weekend is waiting, Monday was like....YAHHHHH :( (Indonesian word to express dissatisfaction) The days between were in blur.

Without really realizing it, the user training was done. Next week is gonna be a crucial stage in the project, (even) long(er) working hours has set it eyes on me. as the conversion guy, my part will be very big in this stage.

Enough with that, let's brush away the negativity. The weekends were also great, gave me enough energy to survive the weekdays. Last week, as usual I played futsal, and I (once again) injured my right knee. It's quite serious at the time. On Sunday I was like a crippled. But after I massaged it regularly every night, I think it has recovered but hasn't really 100% though. It has to be fully recovered before the next game on Saturday.

Darnnn...it takes so long just to write this. I guess the linguistic part in my brain has lower it's performance since it's almost 1 AM... whatttttttt??? I've been sitting for nearly an hour to write this and all I could come up is these three lame paragraphs? Ermmm.....what else... Aha....I remember now....

Okay, today I had my 2nd music gathering which was held by a forum I'm a part of. It was great. I finally manage to sing 'Menghapus Jejakmu'. This song still proves its popularity by continue to sit nicely in my playlist...lolzzz. This time we had drummers, bassist, guitarist, keyboardist...and even documentation personnel. It's full team...yeahhhh. Ermm, despite of the fact that I was still sleepy in the first hour and my voice was the worst among the other singers... *sobs, it was a blast. It's very obvious when we sang 'That's What Friends Are For'. My excuse was I really didn't prepare myself to sing it, but still my voice was powerless. I kinda envy the others who sang better, but hey it didn't bother me since I love to sing, doesn't really matter if I suck....it only matter when people are annoyed and yell at me (plus threat me with sharp objects which surely can cause serious injury)...then I'll stop...lolzzz.

Here's the song : Menghapus Jejakmu (cover version)

But I was a little bit wondering...why does my karaoke voice (Menghapus Jejakmu (karaoke)) sound better (read:more powerful) than this one?
Hmmmm....maybe because the recorder wasn't as good as this one. Well you cannot compare a compact digicam with music studio, right? Also, I think the mic and music volume can be adjusted....

Anyway, Gene also came and brought us two boxes of donuts. Yippieeee....he came all the way just to greet us, had a lil chit chat and brought donuts. Yummyyy...the donuts were delicious. After the music gath, we went to Senayan City and I ate La Mien again.....It still tasted as delicious as I remembered.

Then I dropped Tomz off near his place on my way to MBK church. After two weeks (and exactly three months) I went back there. It still offer the same peacefulness I always feel every time I step into it. It always soothed me from all the problems and worries. This time the pastor who served the Eucharist was different with the last one.

Now I'm fully charged. Move on with the topic I've been wanting to write. Imagine this:

I was a lawyer, a successful one. Very bright and had great future lies ahead; worked in a top notch firm. I had a fiancee who's pretty, smart (not to mention that she's the boss' daughter) and loves me very much. One day I start seeing things. This vision that somehow deliver an implicit message (from God?). It wouldn't go away until I 'read' the message and follow the instruction in it (after I successfully decrypted the message). See, the thing was, it turned out that the visions I had were caused none other (scientifically and medically speaking) by aneurysm. I was shocked. I almost couldn't believe it. It meant that I could suddenly die. FYI I also had a father who also showed the same symptoms (seeing things, etc). This aneurysm explained the awkward things my father did (which I never understood and kinda made me hate him).

I decided to come clean and tell the truth to my fiancee. She was also shocked at first, overwhelmed by the fact that she could lose me anytime and had to deal with my possible awkward actions;then she said she needed some time to think, about everything. I also given a lot of thought about my condition. Then she decided that she loves me and willing to deal with this condition I had.

But I decided otherwise. This is my thought (and argument which was thoroughly prepared, just like the ones I always prepared to be presented to the jury). Here's the dialog

Me (M) : "I've given a lot of thought about it, honey and I think it's better for us to break. I know you love me; I love you too. But given my condition, and the possibility of all the things I'll put you through, the madness, the visions, the sudden death. And what about our children? I don't want to put my children in the same position I was. I love you too much to do that."

Fiancee (F) : "I've been willing to risk it all, to accept you for who you are and with all of your condition. Maybe you just don't love me that much."

The above illustration is taken from Eli Stone, a new serial I watched lately. It's a very good serial. Reminded me of Ally McBeal. There's something about lawyer world that intrigues me. :D

Anyway, what do you think about the situation (Esp from girl's point of view)?

Do I not love my fiancee enough? Is it too little or too much love? I mean she knows what she's gonna get and she still decided to stick with me. Why should I push her away? Well, in my defense, yes she loves me that much, but what about our children? They cannot choose their dad and they surely would prefer a normal dad rather than bright-lawyer-with-aneurysm-and-can-die-anytime dad. Maybe I'm just being too selfish, but I think it's better to be miserable alone that pulling everybody (inc future children) to be miserable with me.

Speaking about alone and miserable, I remember Peterpan's song, Menghapus Jejakmu (again...lolzzz), the reff was like this : 'Engkau bukanlah segalaku, bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku....' (You are not my everything, not a place for me to end my journey).

Then these questions popped out in my mind; When and where will I end my journey (this journey in life)? Who should I end my journey with? Ermmm....I'm on my way, and I haven't really thought about the latter. A friend of mine said once; with your working hours, how can you go on a date and have gf? Other said, you always most of the time spend your weekend with your homies, how can you get a gf? Try spend some time with a girl for a change...Hmmmm... Maybe I should try do that.

Still about the latter, probably due to my deteriorating faith in marriages. Too many fucked up messed up marriage examples. Why do people get married nowadays? So they can have legitimate sex? Well, you don't have to be married (if you just want) to have sex. To get money from your spouse when you get divorce? Depends on the prenupt I think. To have someone to share your life with? Ermmm...you don't have to be married to have a life partner, right? I dunno; the marriage values has also been decreasing. That's the thing with social studies/norms/whatever....it can shift through time. Boundary changes; things we considered good/holy in the past now have lost its meaning. Unlike math where 2*2 = 4. It applies till the end of time.

WTH am I talking about here....I really need to get some sleep now.....before I write something unconsciously.


Evanescence - Solitude

How many times have you told me you love her?
As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth.
How long have I stood here beside you?
I lived through you, you looked through me.

Ooh, Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude
I can't stay away from you

How many times have I done this to myself?
How long will it take before I see?
When will this hole in my heart be mended?
Who now is left alone but me?

Ooh, Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude
Only you, Only true

Everyone leaves me stranded,
forgotten, abandoned
Left behind
I can't stay here another night

Your secret admirer, who could it be?

Ooh, Can't you see all along it was me?
How can you be so blind as to see right through me?

And Ooh, Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooh, solitude
I can't stay away from you

And ooh, Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude
Only you, Only true

*written half-consciously, finished at 2 sth AM

Worry Nomore

post #238

Nothing much this week, basically just the same with the last one, it just had a little twist. Okay the first thing I wanted to write was I finally went to Mary Mother of Carmel church again and it was exactly three months after the last time I had been there. The last time before yesterday was January 12, 2008, at Dave's wedding. It was Saturday too. And to add the coincidence, the pastor was also the same. Talking about coincidences....Anyway, it still the best church I've ever been into.

The second thing was after worrying about almost a week, I could finally breathe easy again. After the sudden death of my office laptop, on Monday I tested it using my colleague's battery and it worked fine. Then (thanks to my a lil bit too much curiosity) I plugged in my power adapter. It shut down instantly. Then I removed the battery, tried with my colleague's power adapter. It went well, I managed to copy a folder that contains my current project files. But when I turned it on again, there was a power interruption and it failed to start up. The problem was, my HDD was encrypted with this corporate encryption software. As a result, it couldn't even get into the Windows. It kept restarting itself. It's because of the encryption software. And to add my shock, my recovery key was not found in the server. The point was there's a big chance that I'd lost all the data in the HDD. I was like...... *speechless. All the data, emails, files from previous projects, MP3, movies, etc. It's like I was gonna lose some fragments of my life. It never occurred to me before that it could happen, that stupid battery/power adapter that just didn't function properly out of nowhere.

So for the next 4 days I was working using an old laptop. It's so slowwwwww. But on Friday I got this IM from the IT officer at my office: 'xxxxx, Thank God your HDD can be decrypted. I am retrieving your data at the moment'. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost jumped with joy. lolzzz..... *phewwww.....that was close. But I had to sacrifice the C: drive. Well, never mind, I'd be only losing some programs (I can install them again), and some interesting bookmarks I kept in the Mozilla.

During previous week, I'd been thinking was this incident my penance? Hmmm....probably. Do you believe in coincidences, or is there some master plan behind all things happen in our lives? There's a saying : 'Coincidences is God's way to be anonymous'

Still in the spirit of coincidences, yesterday at MBK, I met this girl that really looked like Yuni. And this morning when I was cleaning up my room, I found this book 'Don't Sweat Small Stuffs In Love', which was a birthday present from her on my 18th birthday. Wow...it's been ages. Time does fly so fast. I looked into my box and there they were. All the letters she sent me, still there.

Michael Buble's song, Home played in my mind...esp the part 'I've been keeping all the letters I wrote to you you wrote to me...' I read some of them and they gave me chuckles. Memories....Like a cool breeze in hot weather. Memories....are all I have....

Yesterday, I also went to TA for the first time after......I forgot how long it had been. Met Robert and his friends. We ate at Sushi Groove. The Yakiniku Bee Bim Bab sucked (big time). Overcooked rice and plain taste. Such a appetite killer. One of his friends reminded me of Sandra Dewi a bit, esp when she's talking. Nice and attractive girl, but why does she still single? Ermmmm.... I should ask the same question to myself.... lolzzzz....

Anyway....no more worries now. Tomorrow I'm gonna get my office laptop back. Worry no more!


Rob Thomas - Lonely No More

Now it seems to me that you know just what to say
But words are only words, can you show me something else?
Can you swear to me, that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel, more than ever baby

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa..

Now It's hard for me, when my heart still on the mend,
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
Can you sing to me, and it's harmony, girl what you do to me is everything,
Make me say anything, just to get you back again, why can't we just try?

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa..

What if I was good to you? What if you were good to me?
What if I could hold you 'til I feel you move inside of me?
What if it was paradise? And what if we were symphonies?
What if I gave all my life, to find some way to stand beside you?

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Is just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa.. Whoa..

I don't wanna be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna be lonely anymore
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't, I don't, I know, I know,
I don't want to be lonely anymore

Whatta Week

post #237

"...Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over..."

Whatta Week!

After five days of working torture(?), finally blew off some steam on Saturday and Sunday. YEAH!!!!!

Went to AHASS to get Elisha her bi-monthly check up. After two years of glorious run, it's time for her to get some parts replacements. Changes her battery, her head light bulb, and drive gear beside the usual tune up and oil change. I even had to wait till 1 PM to get her all worked up. Well the gear wasn't available there actually. I talked to the mechanic to buy and changed it. I gave him some money after that. It cost quite much to get her in shape again.. :(( but it worthed every dime. After that I could feel her just like the good ol' days. Riding her without worrying the gear chain would come off. One thing that I was proud of was when the mechanic check the engine. He said it's very clean and he knew that I always used high quality gasoline. Yeah of course. Since I bought her, I always used pertamax (and now shell super). Though the price is climbing rapidly lately, but seeing her inside still clean, there's this personal satisfaction. It's true what they say: 'You are what you eat'. It can be applied to motorcycles too..lolzz...

Went to Gadink afterward, got this appointment but I couldn't make it on time, thanks to the lack of drive gear. Went to bank but the line was wayyyy too long so I ended up wandering around the Mall. Wow, Burger King was opened at MKG V now. And to my surprise, I met this girl who sat beside me on Easter Eve mass. She was with her friends. I was walking toward Timezone MKG 2 when I caught a glimpse of this attractive face. My mind was quickly did a super sonic search based on that mere a second glimpse (lolllzzz...). Then it hit me (as well when I saw her looking back at me with her beautiful eyes), it's the girl who's sitting next to me. I said to myself...WTH!!!! But unfortunately I was already walking too fast and passed her when I was sure that it's her. So I took another look to make sure (though I was already sure, it's just an excuse to check her out...lolzzz). She's wearing short white pants with cardigan (?). She looked very lively, very different with the impression she gave at church. Well maybe because that time she was with her dad.

Sean Kingston's song played in my mind

"...Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over..."

Anyway, I continued wandering and saw Totti's soccer shoes *drooolingggg. But I already bought a pair of shoes at the Nike branded sale which was held at the client office building. I loved the color and the price was quite a bargain so I decided to but it. The white metallic, along with gold lines and black color looked very exquisite. It's Total Ninety Zoom *pictures coming soon.

Went to church after that and again I saw this gorgeous girl sitting right in front of me and when it's time to shake hands, she shook my hand first, showing her sweet smile....I could only smile back and shook her hand too *I feel I wanna bang my head right at that very moment...darnnn.........so many beautiful girls... *cryingggg.....lolzzzz

"...Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over..."

But the main course was about to be served. Picked Jef up after the mass. The traffic was 180 degrees different compared to the last time I picked him up. It was very clear and I arrived at his home earlier than I thought. Borrowed Friends season 1 and 2. It's never get old to watch Friends. Then when we're about to go, the rain started to fall...hard. Very hard. Luckily I brought a car, so rain was not a problem :D.

I was the star of the game that saturday nite. Well, actually I probably have to give credit to Totty. It's a short from Totaly Ninety..;D. Since I wore Totti's shirt back from Euro 2000 (which Italy lost 1-2 from France in the final after dramatic struggle....), I thought the shoes should have similar name.....hence Totty... lolzzzz. Well I dunno what'd got into me. In the first 10 minutes I already scored a hattrick. In total I managed to scored 17 goals and 4 assists. I was like...wthhh!!! I was very excited when I reached 10. But man is never satisfied, I still wanted to score some more. Before I took a break, I scored 14 goals. Hmmmm...maybe because it's been three weeks since the last time we played futsal. Maybe because it's the euphoria of new shoes...maybe this...maybe that...but the point is I love the shoes....

Had a long sleep that nite and went to Happy Puppy at around 11.30 AM. Not so long after I woke up...:D. I was the first to arrive, so I decided to stop by at the bank. We officially started our karaoke session at around 12.30 PM and it lasted till around 4.30 PM (That's a record breaking....). Before it began we were treated with quite nice view ;p. It felt so good to form Single Formation again...lolzzz...Agus once again proved that a guy whose heart was ripped out broken sang with all his heart. This is for you, boss...cheers! :D. In the middle of the karaoke session, I went to XXI with David to buy tickets for Three Kingdoms (Andy Lau was in it...yeahhhhh). There was Kerispatih performing live at FujiFilm event. I stopped by for a while to see them. They were just finishing Tapi Bukan Aku when we got there. Short story we got the ticket though in the process we saw lots of sad view (couples holding hand, cuddling....lolzzz).

"...Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over..."

After singing our heart out we took a quick bite of Doner Kebab and watched Three Kingdoms. I won't spoil much, but it focused on Zhao Yun, one of the five Tiger Generals that Liu Bei had. I always liked him since the time I played Romance of the Three Kingdoms on PC, using 3.5" diskettes (can you imagine how old I am? lolzzzz). Zhao Yun, Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu have always been my fave chars. Andy Lau played him nicely. I liked his white outfit when he was assigned to the North campaign (which wasn't successful as the history wrote that neither of these three kingdoms managed to unify China. It was Sima Yi, descendant who became the first emperor of the Chin dynasty). Anyway, if you don't like Three Kingdoms or haven't read the novel, you might get bored and don't understand what was the film about. To me, it's always good to see Andy's movie, aside from my friends say that I look like him a bit. Ermm...my nose to be exact.... *Yeah of course, Andy and I both only have one nose....lolzzzz. Well, here's to give you a lil proof.

Rain was pouring down when we went out from the theater, so we went to Dante while waiting for the rain to stop. We had a chit chat and did some catch up. After that we went back home.

Whatta Week!

Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls

Chorus:
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Verse 1:
See it started at the park
Used to chill at the dark
Oh when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Coz we both thought
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't last together (last together)

Refrain:
See it's very define, girl
One of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You walk to get declined
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy

Chorus:
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Verse 2:
It was back in '99
Watchin' movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down South
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

Refrain:
See it's very define, girl
One of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You walk to get declined
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy

Chorus:
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Verse 3:
Now we're fussin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' slightin'
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're datin' other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal...

Fear(ful/less?)

post #236


"...I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show..."



John 20 : 19
'..On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you."'


Didn't mean to preach but when the pastor was reading this pericope, I had this inspiration to write a blog. But I had to wait until today to finally breakaway for a while from this heaps of work. I'm gonna make it as short and straightforward as possible.

The disciples were scared, they just lost Jesus and they forgot about what Jesus said that He would rise from the dead. Ok that's not the point was trying to make here. They're scared, feared the Jews, that's why they gathered in closed room, with the door locked.

What inspiration did I get? When we are scared, we tend to close ourselves from the others. We're reluctant to open up, because of fear.
- Fear of someone
- Fear of something
- Fear of losing
- Fear of failure
- Fear of the future
- Fear of being not worthy
- Fear of being lied to
- Fear of being betrayed
- Fear of being disapointed
- Fear of being hurt..etc

As the pastor said (which I agreed), fear is normal. Being scared is human. I think it's a good thing, shows that we think about our condition, our life, what we need, what we want.

In a way, it can gives us motivation to try to be better, to work our ass off, to push harder.
Example: How will you pay your bills? In order to pay your bills, you have to work, get some money to live. If the living cost is getting higher, you must find another job with a better salary, or get additional job to cover the costs.

But just like a coin, there's also another side. (Too much) Fear can paralyze us. It stops us from doing anything. Even from trying. Being fearful is not good. Fear of being hurt, of betrayal, of being disappointed can prevent us from having a relationship..with anyone. I remember there's a saying (and just refreshed after reading a blog), the closer a person to you, the more damage he/she can done, more hurt he/she can cause. I guess this is because we expect more from that person and when that person does not live our expectation, we're more easily disappointed. Fear of failure prevents us from even trying. Then what else can we do if we don't even try? Give up? What's the use of being too fearful?

*again don't mean to preach...

Matthew 6:27
"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"

Think it logically; It is useless to worry (too much) and do nothing about it. *Wait maybe you can get one thing...stroke... lolzzz


On the other hand (I think this is the side where fear should motivates us), if it motivates us too much, we become fearless. As a result, we become hasty and reckless. We don't think thoroughly and consider things wisely. There's a (big) difference between being brave and taking risks with plain stupidity.

Again, balanced is important. Balance between too fearful and too fearless. I know it' easier said than done. But we have to make a stand and draw the line sooner or later, right?


Plus One - Last Flight Out

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

Chorus
I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

Chorus

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take the last flight out

Chorus