Circus

post #389

It was GREAT.
I've never been to a circus before, and last night was my first time. I had this image of how a circus would have looked like...Well...the image itself was built based on my exposure to TV and movies. Anyway, the circus managed to live up my expectation, to some extent.

It wasn't as wow as the ones depicted in movies, but still entertaining. The show was started with candle girl, who demonstrated her flexible body. Next was trapeze performance. Then there was Parrot Show. It's quite funny to see the parrot could count and did some other attraction. Then there was this performance from Tashkent Circus...it's nice. Perhaps the highlight of the show. Then elephants n tigers also put up some good performance. Nice acrobatic moves wrapped in a dance was performed between elephants n tigers.

In general, it's entertaining. Really entertaining...at least for me. I think my colleagues who watched the show with me also felt the same. It's been lunch outside days lately. Yesterday I ate lunch at Baji Pamai, which according to my colleagues meant 'A continuous good feeling'. During lunch time I bought the tickets to the circus. Went home after watching the circus had an interesting chat then went to sleep with a smile on my face.

What a day....Circus....Chat...a pleasant experience :D
Ahh...I just remember one unpleasant experience. During the show, there's someone with smelly feet. They smelt very bad. Darnnn...some times I had to hold my breath to save me from the toxic air.
Other than that...it's good.

During the break between performances, songs from Enrique Iglesias were played. The one that was played the most was Love To See You Cry...So in the spirit of reminiscence...here's Enrique...


Enrique Iglesias - Love To See You Cry

Maybe I just
Wanna touch you
Feel you warm inside again
Maybe I just
Wanna hurt you
The sweetest pleasure is pain

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
It just makes me feel alive

Are you coming
To the moment,
When you know your heart can break?
I'm inside you
I'm around you
I just wanna hear you cry again

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
It just makes me feel alive

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
But it makes me feel alive

You don't know
How much it hurts when you fall asleep
In my arms
And if this dies before the morning comes
I wanna run away
I wanna run away

I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why (I don't know why)
I don't know why

(I don't know why, why, but I love to see you cry)
(I don't know why, why, it just makes me feel alive)

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
But it makes me feel alive

(I love to see you cry)
(I love to see you cry)

Pop Goes My Heart

post #388


Hilarious clip from some guys imitating the 'supposed to be real' vidclip in the movie.


Pop Goes my Heart

I never thought that I could be so satisfied,
Everytime that I look in your angel eyes.
A shock inside me that words just can't describe,
And there's no explaining.
There's something in the way you move, I can't deny,
Every word from your lips is a lullaby.
A twist of fate makes life worth while,
You are gold and silver.

[CHORUS]
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
I wasn't gonna fall in love again, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
And I just can't let you go,
I can't lose this feeling.

These precious moments, we have so few,
Lets go far away, where there's nothing to do but play.
You shoo to me that my destiny's with you,
And there's no explaining.
Lets fly so high, will you come with me tonight?
In your dress, I confess, you're the source of light.
The way you shine in the starry skies,
You are gold and silver.

[CHORUS] Repeat x2

A twist of fate makes life worth while,
You are gold and silver....

Stars in December

post #387

I don't know whether it's because the rain in the morning, or was the pollution in the city getting better (though I highly doubt this one)....but anyway I could see stars tonight. Yeah...when I was about to go home with Elisha, I looked up and......there they were....

The stars were shining, brightly...I could see that...the sky was also clear. Dark, blue, but clear. Wow....I took few moments to savor the view. While my mind levitating, a song from Simply Red filled the air *in my imagination....

What a lovely view

Simply Red - Stars

Anyone who ever held you
Would tell you the way I'm feeling
Anyone who ever wanted you
Would try to tell you what I feel inside
The only thing I ever wanted
Was the feeling that you ain't faking
The only one you ever thought about
Wait a minute can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

For the man who tried to hurt you
He's explaining the way I'm feeling
For all the jealousy I caused you
States the reason why I'm trying to hide
As for all the things you taught me
It sends my future into clearer dimensions
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Stay a minute can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

Too many hearts are broken
A lover's promise never came with a maybe
So many words are left unspoken
The silent voices are driving me crazy
As for all the pain you caused me
Making up could never be your intention
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Stay can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

My Confession

post #386

Another weekday has passed...
Got a new laptop (ThinkPad R400) today and had a lunch with my (now officially) ex-colleagues.... ones I proud to consider not only as co-workers, but also as friends, spent their last day today...Hmmm.....everything that has a beginning, has an end...we may stop being colleagues, but we didn't stop being friends.... I'm gonna miss you guys....

The following song from Josh Groban gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it....the music, the guitar, his voice...and the lyric...it's just awesome....

God, this is my confession...

Josh Groban - My Confession

I have been blind, unwilling to see
The true love you're giving
I have ignored every blessing
I'm on my knees confessing

That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession

I have been wrong about you
Thought I was strong without you
For so long nothing could move me
For so long nothing could change me
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession

[bridge:]
You are the air that I breath
You're the ground beneath my feet
When did I stop believing?

Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession
I can't hide
Now hear my confession
Hear my confession

How To Save a Life

post #385

Just really listened to this song yesterday and instantly fell in love with it. The beat, the melody, the piano, the lyric...a very nice one....Isaac Slade's voice was good...
Today I sent emails to the new developers, assigning them their first unit. I could see the look of anxiousness mixed with excite and worry at the same time on their faces.

Hmmm....flashbacks of memories came into my mind...I remembered the first few tasks I had to do was debugging programs...and they were so stressing....there were days when I felt it very hard to go to the office to work. But somehow I keep on holding on to this verse that's forged in my heart.... it's Philippians 4:13... and I did hold on...I moved, advanced...and it all because of Him, who enabled me to stand tall and through it all....

Now the torch is in my hand...time to pass it on to them...develop them...I hope I can do my best...

I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life....


The Fray - How To Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just talk
Smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
She goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Chorus:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
pray to God he hears you
And pray to god he hears you

Chorus

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours, grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Chorus
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life


Chorus 2x
How to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Le Ragazze

post #383

Le Ragazze is Italian for girls... (teenage girls to be precise...if I'm not mistaken :D)
Hhhmmmm.....yesterday when I was at Mangga Dua I met this girl from univ. It'd been ages since the last time we met and she's still the same...in appearance.

Met her brought back some memories from univ....Smallville first season...Kristin Laura Kreuk aka Lana Lang...My infatuation toward her.... *and subsequently Elisha Cuthbert.....How long did it last? Few years I think....Time...went by so fast. Looking back the person I was and the person I am now...hhmm.....what have changed? Are they good changes? How's Kristin Kreuk been doin? Haven't heard from her in a long time...ermm...as if I knew her :p How's Elisha been doin?

Kristin Kreuk was just 19 when she landed the role as Lana...she's still a teenage girl. I was still a teenage. Years passed by and suddenly we're not teenager anymore. We led different lives. Me, Kristin, my univ friends.....

Well...it's been great weekend...playing futsal again after few weeks...and typically, I had some injury....then hibernating....watching DVD....browsing, chatting, blogging...went to church this morning...heavy rain....took a nap...watched Old Dogs (standard plot, yet funny) and now...ready to sleep...it's gonna be a long week...

Listening to this song also brought me back even further....the days I played computer games on PC....gosh those days seemed very longgggggg time ago....Romance Of Three Kingdoms and SimCity...those glorious, simple days.....


Neri Per Caso - Le Ragazze

Le Ragazze Si Lanciano Ad Occhi
Chiusi Nelle Avventure
Qualche Volta Confondono
La Bugia E La Verità
Seguono L'istinto
E L'istinto Le Aiuterà
Sono Treni In Corsa
Che Nessuno Fermerà

Le Ragazze Decidono Il Destino
Dei Loro Amori
I Ragazzi S'illudono
Ma Non Contano Un Gran Che...
Quando Ti Sorridono
È Probabile Che Sia Un Sì
Ma Quando Si Allontanano È No!
E Tu...

Ci Devi Stare Inutile Sperare
Di Recuperare Se Hanno Detto No
Meglio Sparire Non Telefonare
Per Sentirsi Dire Un'altra Volta No
Come Se Non T'importasse Più
Senza Farti Mai Vedere Giù
Si Può Amare Da Morire
Ma Morire D'amore No!

Le Ragazze Che Ispirano
Tutti I Testi Delle Canzoni
Sono Sempre Al Centro
Dei Discorsi Di Tutti Noi
Che Non Conosciamo
Nemmeno La Metà
Di Tutti Quel Che Pensano
E Dei Segreti Che Ognuna Ha

Le Ragazze Volteggiano
Sulle Ali Degli Aquiloni
E Noi Innamorati
Che Le Seguiamo Da Quaggiù
Guarda Come Planano...
Qualcuna Scenderà
Ma Quando Si Allontanano È No!
E tu...

Ci Devi Stare Inutile Sperare
Di Recuperare Se Hanno Detto No
Meglio Sparire Non Telefonare
Per Sentirsi Dire Un'altra Volta No
Come Se Non T'importasse Più
Senza Farti Mai Vedere Giù
Si Può Amare Da Morire
Ma Morire D'amore No!

Le Ragazze Che Sfidano
Le Opinioni Della Gente
Hanno Gli Occhi Limpidi
Di Chi Dice La Verità
Senza Compromessi
Né Mezze Misure
Sono Più Sincere
Le Ragazze Della Nostra Età




Neri Per Caso - Girls

[The girls throw themselves]
[With eyes shut into adventures]
[Sometimes they get confused]
[Between lies and truth]
[They follow instinct]
[Instinct will help them]
[They are running trains]
[That nobody will be able to stop]

[The girls decide]
[The destiny of their loves]
[The boys deceive them]
[But they don't count it at all]
[When they smile at you]
[It's probably a "Yes"]
[But when they move away, it's a "No"!]
[And you...]

[You have to hope in vain]
[To recover if they said "No"]
[Better get vanished, not make phone call]
[Than hear they say another "No"]
[What if you're not important again]
[And they never look down at you again]
[They can love till die]
[But not to die for love!]

[The girls who inspire]
[All lyrics of the songs]
[They are always the subject]
[Of all our talks]
[That we don't know]
[Not even a half]
[Of everything they think]
[And the secrets that everybody has]

[The girls twirl]
[The wings of the north winds]
[And we're charmed]
[That we follow them till here]
[Watch how they glide]
[Some will come down]
[But when they move away it's a "No"!]
[And you...]

[The girls who are against]
[The opinions of the people]
[They have clear eyes]
[Whose tells the truth]
[Without compromises]
[Neither half measures]
[They're so sincere]
[The girls of our age]

My December of 2009

post #383

Well after three consecutive entries without any music...I'd like to take this chance to simply put a short entry, which will be closed by a wonderful song from Linkin Park. But this time the song was sung by Josh Groban.

This is truly MY December...

This line reverberating in my mind...
And I'd give it all away, just to have someone to come home to....

Trinity

post #382

I've been meaning to write about this topic since I watched the last episode of Heroes season 3 and also Dollhouse season 1. You might be wondering, what is the relation between the title of this entry (vessel) with those two TV serials.

I remember vessel was used in Heroes, but the idea is the same with Dollhouse. In the beginning of Heroes episode, as usual there's a narration, some lines that sometimes I found interesting to ponder.
Here they are:

There are nearly seven billion people on this planet. Each one unique. Different. What are the chances of that? And why? Is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collections of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place? Or is it something more than this? Perhaps there's a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something unknowable that dwells in the soul, and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.

I won't talk much about the last episode. *spoiler alert* In short, during a fierce fight, Nathan was killed by Sylar. But his mother just couldn't accept this. So she asked forced Matt Parkman to use his ability to order Sylar to make himself believe that he's Nathan. Being shape shifter and the fact he'd already had Nathan's memory, it just took a little push from Matt to 'convert' him to Nathan. Voilà, Nathan was good and alive again.

Dollhouse also offered similar idea. In the serial, there's a technology that enables us to store all of our memory into a harddrive. Not just that, it's also able to program our brain to have certain characteristics and/or abilities. It's like that the whole brain is mapped out, which neuron controls which part of the body and so on and so forth. Using this technology, the 'dolls' are made based on customer's request. Even at some point, it kinda enable human to live forever, going from one body to another one.

Watching these two serials reminded me of Ross Geller's line in FRIENDS. He said something like this: "In the future the tech will be so advanced that we can store all of our memories into a computer." Well I guess Dollhouse went a step further to illustrate it.

In one sentence, I think basically the moral message of these two serials is about what define a person wholly.

What are we consist of?
Is our body interchangeable? Is it only a vessel, a container which whatever material or substance can be put into?
Would I still be me if all of my memories and consciousness are transferred/put into Brad Pitt's body?

I know there are some movies which topic is about switching bodies (Boy and Girl Thing, Freaky Friday, Hot Chick are some of the examples).

But still...the grand question that we need to ask ourselves is: Who Am I? (just like Jackie Chan's movie :D)

I believe that human in whole is consisted of three elements, body, mind and soul. These three are integrated and the absence or lacking of one will make a person impaired. The most obvious thing of course if the body/physical part. There are people who have disadvantage on this one. Then mind/mental is a bit harder than the physical aspect because it's not directly noticed with our eyes. There are also some who are mentally ill and therefore need to have special treatment (hence the mental institution). The latest is the one that the is the hardest to notice if there's something goes wrong.

So...answering my own question above...I don't think I'd still be me if my mind+soul were transferred to Brad's Pitt body. Well, I dunno this for sure since I never experience it :D
I think all of us is individually unique. In physical aspect...I have my own blueprint, my DNA which I inherited from my parents all the way back to my ancestor with infinite possibilities of combination
In mind aspect....I have my values, my principles....how I perceive this world, this life...which is forged by my socio-cultural environment, education, interaction with others, and so on. In soul aspect....hmmmm...not really sure on this one...I guess it's my belief...

I think these what define me as a person. The absence or change in one of these three will invalid me from being me.

I also believe that these three affect and complement one another. I'm sure we're all familiar with the saying 'Mens sana in corpore sano'. It's true...the condition of each aspect influences the others. That's why I think its important to keep each of this aspect in a healthy condition. Work out, diet are some examples to keep the body in a good condition. Exploring hobbies, listening music, taking that cooking lesson you've been wanting to take for so long, etc are some ways to keep the mind in a good condition. But is it enough? I don't think so.

Have you, at times, feel like there's something missing? Like there's this hole or gap within you which no matter how much food, gadgets, shoes, bags, clothes, money, etc etc just can't fill....perhaps that's a sign that your soul is hungry. Or maybe on the other hand some other times you feel very fresh...very high spirited...like you can take on anything the world throws at you....

Well...I guess we just have to figure out these three things that make us truly, genuinely, uniquely us.


In Heroes, when Sylar is convinced that he's Nathan using Matt's ability, did he become Nathan? Did Sylar die?

I leave you a question to ponder along with these closing line from Heroes season finale...

Who am I?

We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

Waterfall

post #381

Actually this entry has literally nothing to do with waterfall. I chose the title because at the moment I feel like a waterfall which just started to operate again *use your imagination :D

Well...since I read JB's blog yesterday,my passion to write was reignited and somehow I just want had to write. Hmmm...I guess I just start with some updates, what have been happening lately. Ok let's start shall we?

October-November had been months full of weddings. Two of my colleagues got married in October. My futsal friend got married at 21 November. My univ friend got married at 27 November and she asked me to sing at her wedding (which I did....) and then my junior high school friend got married at 29 November....One of my closest friend were starting to plan his wedding next year. The other one thought about getting married in one or two years.....Hmmm....my single friends stock were getting short....In a way, I'm happy for them. But I had to admit, there's this tiny bit part of me that got a envious. I wanted to have what they've already found. It'll surely put more meaning in this life.

Anyway beside that, like I wrote in my previous entry, work just had been crazy...but I'd like to highlight one particular thing that happened on Tuesday, 1 December 2009. There were these two new joiners assigned to the same project as me. I still remember the look on their faces when they came to the client site. I greeted them and they had this look...full of spirit...to realize their dreams.... Looking at them kinda reminded me of myself....it brought me three years back. Perhaps I also had that glow when I first joined the company...I was like them. New, fresh from the univ, still blind to what is SAP, ABAP, and so on. Trying to make their way in this harsh world. Then I looked at myself....hmm, I think I had gone quite far....if you had asked me back then whether I'd be in my current position in three years, I probably would have said that I wasn't sure I'd achieve this.

But that's the thing about life...about future. One can never say for certain what his/her future is gonna be. We all may have plans, dreams, hopes, etc...but not all of them go as we imagined/expected. In this particular case, it went beyond my initial expectation. One factor that I had to really gave credit for is none other than God. He made me reach this far.

Well...I hope that these two could learn their lessons and I'd try my best to take them under my wings and develop them.... *so poetic...hahahahaha....

The last thing that I'd like to mention was that I got a new cellphone...yippieeee.... it was given as a souvenir for my milestone seminar which was held today at Mulia Hotel. All new consultants and system analysts who just got promoted were invited. We're all given insight about the roles, what are expected from us, some tips and tricks from the more experienced persons, i.e. senior managers and senior executives. It was an interesting session. I enjoyed it, enjoyed the lunch *yummy...and of course the souvenir....:D

A person who says success is nothing without someone to share most likely perhaps never achieve one. I believe success means something, at least for me. For one, it gives a sense of accomplishment. Someone to share it will make the success even more meaningful, but the absence of that someone should not omit the meaning of the success itself.

You Light My Fire

post #380

Whoaaaa....I spent the whole month without writing here.
The main reason was that I think somehow my passion to write was in its lowest point....I'd rather drown myself at work (work had been quite busy with new responsibilities I had to take) and watch TV serials as entertainment. There were some some ideas floating around in my head, but I never really got the motivation to write them down.

But today I was swept away by a powerful tide after a friend gave me a link to her friend's blog. It's so out of the blue that I was chatting with her....we're catching up since she's gonna resign soon. In the middle of conversation (which I wouldn't elaborate), she gave me her friend's blog.

I was intrigued. I dunno but I find reading people's blog is interesting thing to do. I can learn...a lot sometimes....the blogs broaden my perspective, enrich my knowledge, and some give me a good laugh. Not to mention that my friend, soon to be ex-colleague said good words about her friend's blog.

I quickly browsed her friend's blog and found that it is good. The perspective it offered caught my attention. Moreover this blog was written by such a young girl. I was impressed that at that age she already had way more mature way of thinking, how a person perceive things in life....compared to the other girls (spare the boys) at her age. I don't think that I was that mature at the same age...even if I were, I'd be not that confident to speak up my mind (well perhaps the fact that blogging wasn't even existed back then could be one of the reasons I couldn't properly channel my thoughts)

Again this proved that maturity doesn't necessarily come with age. I read two-three entries of her blog and it intrigued me more and more. I'm gonna explore her blog more later. Reading her blog gave me the chill...and then the fire inside my heart....the one which was fading away...the passion to write....was lit up again. I felt this urge to write right there and then....and being in the middle of working hours didn't really help. I had to restrain myself, control my urge....and now... I'm letting it all out....all out...

I guess this is all also showed that we all are bound with phases...with cycle....just like a saying that life is like a wheel, one time you're up...the other you're down...my passion to write (among other things I believe) also had its cycle...there were times when I was so passionate to write....there were times when I was very lazy to even copy paste a song lyric :D

I think its normal...its human. The difference is whether we keep on going or not. Just like when we already decide something....there will be ups and downs as the consequences of the decision...but we should keep going on....what happen if we stop? For sure, we wouldn't be moving anywhere...

I'm gonna write some more...with this newly rejuvenated passion.....
I'd like to dedicate this entry especially for J.B.
Thank you...you light my fire (again)....