Momentum

post #113

In physics, momentum equals to mass times velocity. I wanted to write a blog but haven’t got the right momentum. The perfect moment. Life has been…plain. Got few surprises on Sunday. Saw this amazingly beautiful girl while having coffee at Starbucks. I was mesmerized by her…her face contour was flawless…I could only look with awe….Wow….. Before that I called Yuni (David told me that she invited us to visit her spa) and I said I can’t come that day coz I already other plan with my friends. She asked me and the rest of Safax Gank to come this weekend. Talking to her reminded me of all those letters we sent to each other. Lately my mind’s been wandering to the past, maybe trying to revive good ol’ memories before they’re faded away. When I was admiring this gorgeous girl, another surprise hit me. Rhea was there. She’s having coffee with Rico, Ci Sia, etc.

Back from Gadink, I wanted to write a blog (driven by the impression of that gorgeous girl) but didn’t do it. I let the momentum passed and the more I let it pass, the less energy it has. There’s a law about momentum. It says that momentum cannot be perished; it can only be transferred from one form to another. I guess that’s what happened. I let the momentum transferred to other form….longing for sleep, lolz. Last two weeks all I do is reading, studying, browsing n chatting. Maybe that’s why I’m not so keen to write a blog. All the momentum I have has been transferred to those activities.

Speaking of momentum, reminds me of jealousy….and anger. These negative emotions actually are good. With correct management, these emotions can be transferred into motivation. Example: I saw my friend’s profile at Friendster couple of weeks ago. I saw his pictures when he visited Rome. I felt this kind of jealousy. He can, why can’t I?? That’s a thing about jealousy. I believe that everything can be seen differently from different perspective. Jealousy has destructive effects. But I prefer to see jealousy in a constructive view. I see it as a driven force that whip a person to do better than he/she already does. To push harder…try to exceed the limit. It’s some kind of extra energy that we might need when we get weary in our struggle in life.

Sometimes we need to see from a different perspective to get a better understanding.


The Moffatts – Always In My Heart

One day I'll finally get the nerve to say
How I feel, I hide away all the pain
I wish you'd stay

Cause I can't stop my world from crying
I'll hold on and I'll keep on trying

CHORUS
I believe there's a way to show you
Even when we are apart
Though the times we're not together
You're always in my heart

Words come a little too late
Now you're gone but I'm still here and
I sing this song all alone
Something's wrong

Cause I can't stop my world from crying
I'll hold on and I'll keep on trying

CHORUS

Off all the things that I regret
Sometimes I forget to say
I love you

This song reminds me of her letters

Message in a movie

post #112

Okay. I quoted a film title (originally message in a bottle) for my blog post this time. But I’m not gonna talk about that movie. I’m gonna talk about other movies. Just finished watching She’s The Man. Amanda Bynes played very well in this movie. Plus lots of refreshing sights of Laura Ramsey and Alex Breckenridge. I really like Laura’s hair. Her blonde hair was…..great. Reminds me of Elisha’s. Well, the movie is not an Oscar material, but it’s a good one. Lite, funny and like other teenage genre movies, it has simple moral messages such as friendship, trust, courage to go after your dreams, and of course teenage romance..;p. A very entertaining movie I must say.

Yesterday I also watch 16 Blocks. Bruce Willis and Mos Def were good. I thought it was just another action movie with lots of gunshot but like She’s The Man it has some moral messages too. I think the whole point of 16 Blocks is to remind us that people CAN change (if they want to). Even the ‘bad’ cop like Jack Mosley (played well by Bruce Willis) could get that ‘moment of truth’ and made a decision to change. He would have never thought that his simple task to escort a witness was a turning point in his life. Eddie Bunker (played by Mos Def) liked to say Good Sign in the movie. He said his encounter with Jack was not a coincidence, that it was a sign.

Made me thinking (again). It seems like every single event that happens in our life is not mere coincidence. Like there’s some kind of master plan (a script) for each of us. Life is like a big movie, where we all have a role we must play, from the moment we were born, till the time we close our eyes forever. This reminded me of a line from my friend’s blog… no matter how hard you try, if it’s not meant for you….you won’t be able to get/achieve it. And some people live their life unhappily coz they deny this. They don’t find happiness coz they want things that are not meant for them. The question now is, How do we know what our role is? What is meant for us?

It’s just a thought…only a thought…if my life is for rent…

Dido - Life For Rent

I haven’t ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologise that once again I’m not in love
But it’s not as if I mind that your heart aint exactly breaking

It’s just a thought, only a thought

And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I’ve always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live more simply
I have no idea what’s happened to that dream
Cos there’s really nothing left here to stop me

It’s just a thought, only a thought

And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won’t let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won’t even try
Well how can I say I’m alive

If my life is for rent…

Good Enough

post #111

Darren Hayes - Good Enough

If I woke up late
Couldn’t get out of bed
If I bought you a cafe latte instead
If I lied when I said
32 inches was the size of my waist
And can I admit
Every once in a while
Even though I dig alternative style
Occasionally
I can be caught dancin’ to Brittany
And can I confess
That art house doesn’t turn me on
But I like every single thing that Spielberg’s done

Could I be good enough
Could I be good enough

#:
If the going got worse
And the worse got rough
The days became endless
And harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best
Would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give
Doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell that could be good enough

Where I grew up
The rent was cheap
Though we always had enough to eat
Didn’t have fancy clothes
I never really cared
'Coz there were shoes on my toes
And motherly love
I knew it like the back of my hand
She always had a way to make me understand

I could be good enough
I could be good enough

#

Coz I don’t know which way this road is gonna turn
But I know it’s gonna be fine
But there are some days no matter how much I’ve learned
That the road gets tough
And I don’t feel good enough
But if you’re giving me some of that loving
Could you pass some over
Let me cry on your shoulder and tell me baby
I could be good enough

If I lost my job and my hair fell out
If I made no sense and I scream and shout
Would you laugh at me?
Never take a word I say seriously
And if I’m out in the cold
Waiting in the back of the line
Too afraid to drop my name for fear of decline

Could you tell me I’m good enough?
Could I be good enough?

#

I need to know that I could be good enough
Because everybody wants to feel good enough
Show me baby, Tell me
Come on a prove it baby and give it to me


/*
I believe I can. The key is to change a question to a statement. (Mengubah pertanyaan menjadi pernyataan). We must change Can I? to I Can!. Never underestimate the power of words, of suggestion. I forgot where I read it, but it was a good line... You will be what you will to be.

I hope I can be good enough, I know I must be good enough..... Have to be good enough....for you
*/

How Do You Measure A Man???

post #110

Clay Aiken - Measure Of A Man

If one day you discover him
Broken down he's lost everything
No cars, no fancy clothes to make him who he's not
The woman at his side is all that he has got
Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?

Chorus:
Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire
Would he give his life up
To be all he can
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

If by chance all he had to give you
Was three words wrapped around your finger
Would that be deep enough at the end of every day
And how will you ever know
If a man is what he says?

Why do you ask him to move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth

Chorus

He never gives up
Lets go of his dream
His world goes around for his one true belief
Is that how you know
Is that what it means?

Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
Would he will be your anchor when the dark unfolds
Would he always love you the best that he knows?

Would he give his life up
To be all that he can
Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?

Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire
Would he give his life up
To be all he can

Is that, is that, is that, how you measure oh...

Is that, is that, is that, how you measure a man?

Office Mode

post # 109

Here I am, in the head office of the company I work for. Drinking Nescafe 3 in 1, listening Nidji – Hapus Aku and writing this blog. Today’s a quite special day for me. Today I don’t support users anymore. Today is my first day of staying at the head office. I never set foot in the employee’s cubicle before. Today I practically don’t have anything to do (well it’s called self study period…lolz). And the most prominent thing is today I signed my permanent employment letter. Now I’m officially an Accenture employee. Not just a contractor anymore. I can say that I’m lucky to be a permanent employee starting from this month, coz actually my probation period ends at December 2006. Thank you God!

It feels good to be here. After long, stressing n tiring user supporting role (got a terrible headache two days before thanks to month end closing activities)…it feels damn good to actually have nothing to do… (Well I have to develop myself during this free time I have). Well, all the suffering is paid off now.

Lately I’ve been listening to Nidji – Hapus Aku. I really like this song. Moet sent it to me a few weeks ago. I didn’t download it right away, but the next morning I heard it on the radio n it was good. I think the main attraction of this song is its simple lyric. Beautifully sad and catchy. I downloaded it that nite and it became a permanent member of my song playlist ;p.

Well…I end here. One reminder for today… Everything has it’s time.. Difficult times, happy times.. each has a lesson (or lessons) that we must learn…to be a better person…day after day…. A new day, a new phase….


Nidji - Hapus Aku

Tuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara, dengar hatiku

Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia, sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta

Reff:
Yakinkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu, waktu
Hapus aku…

Sadarkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu, waktu
Hapus aku…

Tuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara, dengar jiwaku

Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia, sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta

Reff

Fortress of Solitude

post #108

Why do people engage in a relationship (romance)? What do they expect from a relationship? Are they happier when they’re in a relationship compared when they’re still single?

It’s been a while since my last relationship and I must say being single is great and I’m happy with it. I can do whatever I like. I don’t have to think about my weekend schedule. I can hangout with my ‘homies’ whenever I want to without starting a ‘war’ with that special person ;p. And the best part…I can flirt with any girl….lolzzzzzzz Sometimes I feel like there’s something missing. Having a girlfriend (or girlfriends….lolzz) has it’s own treat. It surely nice to have someone (with a sweet voice) to talk to, to share stories, to go out for a cup of coffee or to a dinner, someone who cares about me more than my ‘homies’ (well in a different way I mean), someone I can cuddle, caress, and kiss.

Sometimes this longing comes up, but I think I’m already used to my solitude. My heart is in semi-absolute zero degree condition. I feel comfortable in my fortress of solitude. There’re few girls that give me the warmth like sunshine in springtime, but it never reached the inner side of my fortress. My mind quickly blocks the warmth and makes me contented with the usual cold fortress wall. One of my best friends just broke up with his gf after dating for 6 years. And he said he felt something missing, but he’s not rushing to get into another relationship. His gf already asked him to get back together again, but He wanted to enjoy his ‘singleness’ for the moment, to sort things out.

I read in my friend’s blog that the reason why people choose to be alone is because they afraid of getting hurt. Well I believe that in every relationship we must be honest from the start with the other person about what do we expect from the relationship. I think getting hurt in a relationship is caused by different expectations from both persons who engaged in it. If both persons are honest from the beginning, then they know what to expect from the relationship, thus they won’t end up getting hurt expecting different things from their spouse.

Most of the times when we’re in a relationship we forget about one thing, tolerance. The longer relationship goes, the more expectations we have from other our spouse and the less tolerance we have for her/him. For example: I expect my girlfriend to make me as priority number one. No one or nothing above me. And when my girlfriend choose to prioritize something else over me (like work, or an old friends that she hasn’t seen in ages or a distant relative who comes over), I may tend to get upset. I think that she doesn’t love us that much. This attitude gives pressure to my girlfriend and can affect our relationship. Loving me can become a burden for her and it will only make her unhappy having a relationship with me. Even though we’re a couple, we have still our own worlds. I believe being a couple doesn’t mean that we merge our worlds to become one world, everything revolves around us and nothing but us. It’s more like connecting our two worlds in a very intimate level. We must still respect and love her/him as a whole person, not owning her/him fully like a possession.

Maybe I still feel very comfortable in my fortress of solitude coz I haven’t found that one special person that can break down the wall surrounding my heart. That person who can melt my freezing heart with her warm smile and sincere behavior. Maybe I’m expecting, waiting for someone who only exist in the back of my head. Maybe I already found that someone but she already walked away coz I doubted my feelings. Maybe……I find something to fill in the void from the movies I watch which augment my imagination. I guess that’s why I like the romance (if I may say that) in Prison Break. It’s beautifully played by Sarah n Wentworth. The chemistry between them. The simple moments they share…..the simple kiss, not sex. It appeals more to me. Though it seems that they don’t have a future together… *sigh

What do you do if you find yourselves in that kind of situation? Having some kind of relationship with a person which you don’t see a future with (I’m not talking about an affair with married couples…but with a single person)….Would you walk away the minute you see no future? Or would you stay and enjoy it till it’s time to say goodbye? Which one hurts more? Walk away immediately and only left with wistful thinking of how great it would have been or knowing that we must part though we don’t want to end? I guess the answer depends on how worthy that person is.

It’s never easy when it comes to feelings. Reminds me of a saying… Some people are meant to be alone.


Irwansyah - Pencinta Wanita (OST Heart)


Kutemukan dalam pencarian
cinta sejati untuk hidupku
kurang lebih yang seperti dia
kuharap dalam cintaku

* ku tak mau menjanjikannya
pasti bahagia bila denganku
biar dia rasakan sendiri
betapa gilanya cintaku

** aku memang pencinta wanita
namun ku bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
ku hanya mencintai dia

aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia

*,**

aku memang pencinta wanita
namun kau bukan buaya
yang setia pada seribu gadis
kau hanya mencintai aku

**

aku memang pencinta wanita
yang lembut seperti dia
ingin saat ku akhiri semua
pencarian dalam hidup
dan cintaku ternyata
yang kumau hanyalah dia

pencinta wanita
mencintai dia
hanyalah dia

Prison Fever

post #107

Today’s 61st Indonesian independence day anniversary. What have this nation accomplished after being independent for 61 years??? I think being the 3rd most corrupted country in the world (and number one in Asia) is not something you call accomplishment (well, not in a positive way I mean). Poverty, corruption, discrimination still live happily in my (so called) beloved country. There are some accomplishments that can be proud of, but they aren’t too many. Too many political issues and politics (quoting a friend of mine saying) is just not my cup of tea. So let’s talk about something else.

I finished watching Prison Break season 1 today, after a (quite) long marathon from Sunday. My friend already warned me that this serial is highly addictive and he was absolutely right. I watched the first two episodes only to get more intrigued by the storyline. And as a result, I sacrificed my sleep time at night, just to watch it. I only slept for about 4 hours these last three days and I worked like a zombie. It was such a rush to watch it. I didn’t know for sure why I was so addicted to it. Maybe because it offered a different storyline from 24 or Alias or Smallville. The storyline was fresh and it had more surprising twists than 24. The casts were good, especially Sarah Wayne Callies who played Dr. Sara Tancredi. She was soooooooo gorgeous… I really loved her character and her bizarre relationship with ‘Michael Scofield’. I guess Sarah was one of other factors that made me become addicted to this serial. With Smallville’s on a break and there’ll be no more Elisha on the upcoming season of 24, Prison Break offered me this Hawaiian beauty to occupy my mind. Luckily I got a long holiday from today till Monday so I got the time to finish watching it. Today I watched the last 6 episodes and the season finale was just making me more intrigued. Can’t wait to watch the next season. I’m also thinking to get a haircut like Wenthworth Miles (who played Michael Scofield)…. I guess I’m having prison fever at the moment…lolzz…but it’ll pass.

That’s a thing about addiction (Well, I consider this as a mild addiction). We want something so bad…and it just keeps us wanting for more and more…in my case watching more and more. Fortunately I still have good control otherwise I might not sleep at all just to watch it. Just to finish it in two days time maybe. Then what? After all the rush is gone….it’s nothing. Satisfaction of finish watching will only last for some time. I’m not a drug addict so I don’t know for certain, but I guess the same thing happen to drug addiction. We keep wanting more and the only way to stop it is from the early phase of addiction. Start from ourselves, we must have a strong willpower. A steel determination to stop. After that it’ll be easier to quit. Without willpower to stop, we’re helpless. How can the others help us if we don’t want to change, let alone let them help us. We all may have our own addiction, whether it’s computer games, food, drugs, smoke, porn, etc. It starts from ourselves to stop it or to fall in it deeper and deeper.

Writing this blog while listening to TIC Band – Terbaik Bagimu. Once again I must thank Moet to send me this song. Thanks Moet! I’ve been looking for this song for years and yesterday I got it. Too bad Happy Puppy didn’t have this song on it’s song list. They got Nick Lachey – What’s Left of Me though (and it’s quite impressive). I found out about it last Sunday when I went there with my usual ‘homies’, David n Bowo.

In the spirit of independence day (n also finish watching Prison Break where they’re out of the state penitentiary) let me say…. MERDEKA!!!


I’d like to dedicate the following song for Sarah….


Neri Per Caso – Sara

Sarà...sarà

Sarà un'avventura ancora
Un'altra storia d'amore
Insieme a te sarà
Non ti crederò
Se non mi vorrai

Chiara, magica atmosfera
Che c'è tra noi stasera
Quest'atmosfera
Ora che ti guardo
Ora ci vedo gli occhi della luna
Sei bella tu sei bella luna

Refrain:
Ci metterò tutto il cuore
E quelle parole d'amore
Fanno per sempre sognare
Ma dimmelo
Se vuoi
Se tu mi vuoi

Sarà...sarà...sarà...sarà.....
Sarà...sarà...sarà...sarà

No, non ti crederò
Se non mi vorrai
Non ti crederò
Se non mi amerai


Sarà...sarà...sarà...sarà

I thought the song is about a girl named Sara…but I was wrong…. ;p

Neri Per Caso – Sara

[It will be...]
[It will still be an adventure]
[Another love story]
[Together with you it will be]
[I won't believe you]
[If you won't me]

[Clear, magic atmosphere]
[What is there between us tonight]
[This atmosphere]
[Now that I look at you]
[Now I see there the eyes of the moon]
[You are beautiful, you're a beautiful moon]

[I'll put my whole heart there]
[And those words of love]
[Make you dream forever]
[But tell me]
[If you want]
[If you want me]

[It will be...]
[It will be...]

[No, I won't believe you]
[If you won't me ]
[I won't believe you]
[If you won't love me]

[It will be...]

Sarah in promotional picture

Sarah n Wentworth at Golden Globe

Sarah in Prison Break...isn't she gorgeous...