House of God

post #121

It’s Monday. The holiday’s over. Back to work again. I can imagine the long working hours that await me. I feel reluctant to go to work today actually. Maybe because the imagination of the long working hours, maybe because I don’t really like what I’m doing. I never really interested in programming. I enjoy my previous job. The stress was different, but it doesn’t offer any career advancement. I don’t wanna be stuck in the same position 5 years from now. So I decided to take an offer from a multinational company, the company I work for now, though I didn’t really like the position they offered me. Well…we gotta make some sacrifices in life..to achieve something more.

Yesterday I went to attend afternoon mass. It was very rejuvenating. When I got there, went down on my knees and prayed, I was overwhelmed by these mixed emotions that I couldn’t describe. It was like my spirit talked to God directly… I just kneeled down, closed my eyes and enjoyed that sensation. It’s very peaceful coming to the House of God. The sermon was very good also. It’s about faith… how a blind man’s faith can cure his blindness. And it reminded me again of my worries and doubts. Why should I have those…. I gotta have faith. I can make it… I’d be lost without You, my shepherd. It felt soooooo good to go to church.

And to close the holiday, I chatted with this amazing girl. It’s been very delightful having chat sessions w her. She really lightened up the holiday. This holiday was another great one. Thanks to the DVDs I bought that helped me spent the time while I was recovering. I love Gilmore Girls. Watching season 1 n 2 I noticed some interesting facts about the cast. In one of the episode, there was Brandon “BJ” Routh. And in the 2nd season, there was this DH’s Mary Alice Young… I forgot her name. It was an excellent TV show.

Well….holiday’s over…got some fond memories from it. It’s back to work now…so help me God…

Reminiscing Perth

post #120

Just a short post. Exactly at this date, one year ago... I was sitting at Livia's ASP.NET class and wrote a blog. It was my first day in Perth, a city that later on became quite an obsession. It was the start of an extraordinary journey that last till now...in the back of my head.

Can't believe how time goes by so fast. I can still remember the details of my trip to Perth. It was the BEST holiday I've ever had. The buildings, the people, the food, the air, the weather....everything. It was some kind of wonderland to me. I felt like a village people come to a city for a very first time. Everything seemed so amazing.

I'd really love to go there again..... I will....

Once again I'm quoting Savage Garden's song...Memories Are Designed to Fade....Maybe that's why I write this blog...Coz I don't wanna ever forget the Perth experience...I don't want this particular memory to fade...Though eventually I will...I will forget the tiny details and only remember the pleasant impression I got there..... It's lingering.....

Perth....you will always be a fond memory....

Click

post #119

It's been a long time since my last writing. Well..it turned out the fever n (terrible) headache that I got in early Oct was a typhus symptoms. I was still experiencing the fever n headache on Monday, Oct 9, so I went to see a doctor on Tuesday. That's when I knew that I had a typhus symptoms...the most known signs are severe headache and fever starting in the afternoon. So a person who has typhus symptoms feels fresher in the morning and in the afternoon he/she will suffer (severe) headache and fever....like me.

The doctor gave me some medicine and said that I should get a bed rest at least 5 days. I still attended the training on Wednesday, but only for half day. After I told my division head, he insisted that I should get a bed rest asap, so I went home after lunch. Then I began my bed rest period. It was kinda boring. In short, I went to work again on Wednesday. But on Friday I got this deadline to debug an ABAP program, I worked so hard (and Thank God a colleague helped me out) and have to stay till 7 PM. But it was finished ...so I could have a peaceful holiday. That's when I got the aching on my head n a fever. I said to myself...darn... I pushed myself too hard... Well, for someone who hasn't been in programming world for almost 2 years and suddenly has to debug a quite complicated program, to make sure it works, it takes all the brain resources....It took my reserve energy to go home....and I went straight to sleep...Got sms on midnite from Kitty and I managed to reply with two characters...Ok.

Btw...I had a small gath on Thursday nite with Shella, Cybelle, Justifie, Sanmei, Uting and the guest star, Achambs. We had a buffet on Marinara, Sarinah. Took some pictures after that. It was great.

I woke up at around 8 AM on saturday. Feeling quite well. And went to Kitty's parents in law's. With some help from Tomz about the direction, I managed tp get there...15 minutes late. Finally met Ruel in person, Ricky in person and got the chance to take pictures of and with Ruel...lolz....Not so long after I arrived, tomz came. We stayed there for about two hours, talked from A-Z...and we went back home.

I went to Mangga Dua to buy DVDs for the Lebaran holiday. Bought 33 DVDs. Lots of them are Gilmore Girls DVDs. I bought Season 1-3. Plus few other DVDs like Garfield 2, Dorm Daze, You Me n Dupree, and Click. I felt a little warm and worried that I might be sick again. So I quickly went back home and rest.

Yesterday was (DVD watching day) bed rest day. I watched Dorm Daze, Garfield 2, and You Me n Dupree. And I was back eating porridge again...though in the afternoon a neighbour came and gave ketupat package....which I couldn't eat......what a torture....

Well nevermind. Health is more important. Today I woke up, feeling much better. Thank God. It's amazing what a little faith can do. He made me able to arrive at home in one piece with such a headache and fever on Friday. All I asked Him was His guidance and extra strength to go home safely...

I just finished watching Click. It's an EXCELLENT movie. It's very touching. I strongly recommend you to watch it. It has a simple yet stron moral message. Whatever you choose, you'll also have to be ready for the consequences. Once again I'm quoting Stephen R. Covey's words in his book, "When you pick a stick, you also pick the other end of that stick". We cannot run from the consequences of our choices, our actions. That's what life is all about. I believe I heard this from Smallville....Life is not about chances, it's about choices and consequences.

That's all for now. Happy Idul Fitri day for you who celebrate it. I'm going back to my bed rest routine.....sleeping, watching DVDs and browsing...lolz....


God Bless...


And as usual....here's the song that was played when Michael and Donna had their first kiss... (and also the song that was played on Michael's son, Ben's wedding). An old and beautiful song.


The Cranberries - Linger

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

(chorus)
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

Recovering

post #118

I finally managed to complete 5 days of ABAP training. But on Thursday I got this terrible headache….my head was throbbing like crazy. Didn’t exactly know why, maybe it’s because the air conditioner. Maybe because I was looking at my laptop all day long and it made my neck stiff, thus brought a headache. And later in the afternoon got this office event, ‘Buka Puasa Bersama’. I went home at 7PM coz my body began to trembling. I prayed to God to give me the strength so I can arrive at home safe. And it was amazing, on my way home I didn’t feel this headache at all. Arrived at home I washed my face n cleaned my body then quickly went to sleep. I thought a decent sleep will solve this headache.

But I was wrong. On Friday I woke up, the headache still there…and I got a bonus, lite fever. I pushed myself to go to the office. I managed to absorb the training till lunch, but after that, the fever’s getting worse n I only listened and didn’t do the exercises. I went home earlier and bought Panadol for my fever. I ate the panadol and went to sleep at 7 PM. Woke up yesterday on 7 AM. I slept for twelve hours….lolz. The fever was gone, but I still felt the headache a bit. Then I went online for a while… then went to sleep again. Finally the headache subsided. I watched Sentinel, and the headache came again….arghhhh…then I went to sleep again….. so basically…yesterday was a sleeping day for me….to recover the energy I need for the rest of ABAP training sessions.

Now I’m feeling much better. No fever and no headache…just don’t really have an appetite. I have to really rejuvenate myself for next week. I’ve never been sick in a very long time and the experience on those two days really really torturing. Thank You God for the strength you gave me on Thursday and Friday esp.

Btw, there’s a cute newcomer in my division. She has this cute girl’s voice…. A nice addition I must say…lolz. Could this lead to an office romance? Nope, I don’t think so… I kissed romance goodbye two years ago and I ain’t really keen about starting it…

This week recap

post # 117

Ahh….finally get some time to write a blog. It’s been exciting week. Last Saturday I went to the 7th Novena at STC. Met Eddy, Devi, Julius n Verra there. The theme was Set My Heart On Fire. It was held by universities across Jakarta. After it finished, I saw Susan again, in a different hairstyle. I really admire her face. It’s just so….flawless. her face is just like a doll’s face, very lovely.

On Sunday I went to Jef’s. As usual we played WE. When I was about to take a nap, Agus called me and said that David asked us to accompany him to Roxy to buy cellphone. I said okay n not so long after that they picked me up. We went there, looked around, store by store, floor by floor, but only got two out of three cellphones that David wanted to buy. So we went to Cempaka Mas, and finally we got it. It’s kinda tiring, but that’s what friends do.

There’s nothing really special from monday to Friday, just went to Starbuck a few times (well since it’s located on the ground floor of my office building, it’s very convenient). And on Friday, I finally upgraded my status on WG and became a Godfather. It was quite a leap since I only got 5900 posts on September 11. It’s time to slow down. Beside I’ll be having my classroom ABAP training for two weeks starting from tomorrow, so I may not have the time do that anymore (posting like crazy I mean). There’s a time for everything.

Yesterday was the perfect closure for this week. Played badminton in the morning. When I was playing I noticed there’s this attractive girl playing on the field next to us. Her face seemed familiar but I wasn’t sure. After we finished playing, then I had a better look at her and she was looking at me too, then I realized that she’s Shelley, my friend’s ex. She recognized me too and then we talked. She’s about to become a dentist in the next two years. She looked amazing. Her body was well figured with nice muscle tone, athletic. It was a very nice surprise coz I haven’t seen her since they broke up. Got her cellphone number and she continued playing badminton. She was quite good too…..hmmm. Then I took a bath, ate lunch and went to Tomz’s office. It was very cozy. I’d love to work in a place like that. Then I went back home and took a nap coz the badminton session was really really exhausting. There were only five persons who played. Really drained my energy.

Well…that’s all for this week. God has been so good. Everything went well. Sometimes when everything went well we forget to thank Him. We’re too preoccupied with ourselves. We take His blessings which appear in simple things like clear traffic, fresh air, help from others for granted. We really need to start appreciating those simple things and never forget to say thanks to Him.

This song is dedicated for my ‘true friends’. Quoting David’s testimonial for me…

“ Yang pasti ***** adalah salah satu
sahabat sejati gua dari semua temen
yang gua kenal catet ya SAHABAT
SEJATI. “

it’s a flattering testi I must say.



Sheila on 7 – Sahabat Sejati

Sahabat sejatiku, hilangkah dari ingatanmu
Di hari kita saling berbagi
Dengan kotak sejuta mimpi, aku datang menghampirimu
Kuperlihat semua hartaku

Kita s’lalu berpendapat, kita ini yang terhebat
Kesombongan di masa muda yang indah
Aku raja kaupun raja
Aku hitam kaupun hitam
Arti teman lebih dari sekedar materi

Pegang pundakku, jangan pernah lepaskan
Bila ku mulai lelah… lelah dan tak bersinar
Remas sayapku, jangan pernah lepaskan
Bila ku ingin terbang… terbang meninggalkanmu

Ku s’lalu membanggakanmu, kaupun s’lalu menyanjungku
Aku dan kamu darah abadi
Demi bermain bersama, kita duakan segalanya
Merdeka kita, kita merdeka

Tak pernah kita pikirkan
Ujung perjalanan ini
Tak usah kita pikirkan
Akhir perjalanan ini

Magnificent Seven

post # 116

Got these incredible songs from Moet few days earlier (I wanna thank her again for that) and these days my playlist has been dominated by them. Currently I really like to hear Jessica Simpson’s – A Public Affair. It’s veryyyyy catchy and the rhythm is great. I really love the part when she sings “All the girls stepping out for a public affair”…they way she says public affair just appeals to me…lolz. There’s also Savage Garden’s version of Last Christmas..Darren’s voice is just so beautiful…. I forget how many times I say that I wish I could have voice like his. Don’t care that he’s a gay, he’s surely has excellent voice. I also like the guitar sound in Donovan Frankenreiter – The Way It Is. Next I got Janet Jackson – Doesn’t Really Matter, a song that has been on my search list all this time. Great song. And Madonna’s Dear Jessie… I like the sound of the baby’s laughter in the middle of the song. There are also Hanson – If Only and The Moffatts – Who Do You Love, two songs that I once had but lost due to HDD incident. Now I got them back again. There are other songs but these magnificent seven are the best.

During my free time in the office (which I have a lot lately) yesterday, I looked up Kate Beckinsale fan site and oh boy….she’s really gorgeous. Downloaded some of her commercials. I just found out that Lux used her as their advertisement model. If you interested to see this British Beauty, you can click the link on the right hand side of this blog.

Well…I guess that’s all for now…Back to WG lolz….been posting like crazy these days…like there’s some competition with the other users like Brit, Ivo, Makino….even Moet hahahahha…..

I’ll leave you with Jay’s song, Romantic Handphone…. Another excellent song from the talented musician.

浪漫手機
Lang Man Shou Ji
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) Lyricist: Vincent Fong (方文山)


輕輕放
qing qing fang
我就是卸不下對妳的喜歡
wo jiu shi xie bu xia dui ni de xi huan
原來愛會慢慢增加重量
yuan lai ai hui man man zeng jia zhong liang
想關上這城市所有的燈光
xiang guan shang zhe cheng shi suo you de deng guang
黑暗中專心聞妳的髮香
hei an zhong zhuan xin wen ni de fa xiang

這夜晚
zhe ye wan
讓暗戀很有畫面感
rang an lian hen you hua mian gan
回想
hui xiang
與妳約會過的地方
yu ni yue hui guo de di fang
都捨不得刪
dou she bu de shan
在腦海裡儲存欣賞
zai nao hai li chu cun xin shang

妳微笑瀏覽
ni wei xiao liu lan
手機裡的浪漫
shou ji li de lang man
原來真心送出愛是這麼簡單
yuan lai zhen xin song chu ai shi zhe me jian dan
溫習螢幕上
wen xi ying mu shang
妳可愛的模樣
ni ke ai de mo yang
關於緣份的解釋我又多傳了一行
guan yu yuan fen de jie shi wo you duo chuan le yi hang

妳微笑瀏覽
ni wei xiao liu lan
手機裡的浪漫
shou ji li de lang man
原來愛情可以來的這麼突然
yuan lai ai qing ke yi lai de zhe me tu ran
短信的橋樑
duan xin de qiao liang
將曖昧期拉長
jiang ai mei qi la chang
我們的感情蔓延滋長用文字培養
wo men de gan qing man yan zi chang yong wen zi pei yang
在虛擬土壤
zai xu ni tu rang

電視牆
dian shi qiang
吵雜的情歌還在拼命播放
chao za de qing ge hai zai pin ming bo fang
我安靜在鬧區等來電鈴響
wo an jing zai nao qu deng lai dian ling xiang
有一些話打好了卻不敢傳
you yi xie hua da hao le que bu gan chuan
怕收到信息的妳在為難
pa shou dao xin xi de ni zai wei nan

街道上
jie dao shang
人潮襯托我的孤單
ren chao chen tuo wo de gu dan
想像
xiang xiang
誰幸運的陪在妳身旁
shui xing yun de pei zai ni shen bang
卻誤會一場
que wu hui yi chang
妳也在等妳手機響
ni ye zai deng ni shou ji xiang

妳微笑瀏覽
ni wei xiao liu lan
手機裡的浪漫
shou ji li de lang man
原來真心送出愛是這麼簡單
yuan lai zhen xin song chu ai shi zhe me jian dan
溫習螢幕上
wen xi ying mu shang
妳可愛的模樣
ni ke ai de mo yang
關於緣份的解釋我又多傳了一行
guan yu yuan fen de jie shi wo you duo chuan le yi hang

妳微笑瀏覽
ni wei xiao liu lan
手機裡的浪漫
shou ji li de lang man
原來愛情可以來的這麼突然
yuan lai ai qing ke yi lai de zhe me tu ran
短信的橋樑
duan xin de qiao liang
將曖昧期拉長
jiang ai mei qi la chang
我們的感情蔓延滋長用文字培養
wo men de gan qing man yan zi chang yong wen zi pei yang
在虛擬土壤
zai xu ni tu rang



Romantic Handphone

Lightly let go
I just can’t take down my fondness for you
In fact love will slowly increase in weight
I want to turn off all the lights in this city
In the dark, concentrate on smelling the fragrance of your hair

This night
Makes the crush have a lot of imagery feel
Remembering
The places I have been on dates with you
I’m unwilling to delete them
Storing them in my mind to enjoy

Your smile browsing
The romance in the handphone
In fact giving out love with a genuine heart is so simple
Practising on the movies screens
Your cute face
About the explanation of fate, I have texted another line


Your smile browsing
The romance in the handphone
In fact love can come so suddenly
The text message’s bridge
Pulls the period of ambiguity longer
Our feelings spread and develop using words to cultivate
On the fictitious soil


The TV wall
The noisy love song is still desperately broadcasting
I silently wait for the incoming call ringtone in downtown
Some words I have typed already but I didn’t dare send
Scared that you, who will receive the message, will be troubled
On the street


The tide of people sets off my loneliness
Imagining
Who is lucky to be by your side?
Yet it was a misunderstanding
You are also waiting for your handphone to ring


Your smile browsing
The romance in the handphone
In fact giving out love with a genuine heart is so simple
Practising at the movies
Your cute face
About the explanation of fate, I have texted another line

Your smile browsing
The romance in the handphone
In fact love can come so suddenly
The text message’s bridge
Pulls the period of ambiguity longer
Our feelings spread and develop using words to cultivate
On the fictitious soil

If Only

post # 115


Last Sunday I went to her spa. When I was parking Elisha, Agus came. Then we both went in and she greeted us. Boy….I almost forgot how adorable she’s. We talked for a while and we moved into the reflexology room. The chair was very comfortable. About 20 minutes later David n Bowo came. The five of us started remembering the times we had back in jr. high, asking how are our other friends doing, etc. after that the four of us went to Happy Puppy (not again….). We really have to find another place to go to..lolz..

I reminisced my feelings by singing few songs that reminds me of the time when I was so naïve, so dumb. Songs like I Want It That Way and All That I Need. Seeing her again was great and it kinda brought a cool breeze. She’s still….loveable. Maybe that’s the thing about wanting something (or someone) you could never have. Because I never have her, I always have this impression, this perception in my mind that she’s exceptional. It’s like having a crush on an artist. We always have this imagination of how good it would be if it had been happened. But in the reality it never happened, and we still carry on our perfect dream perception about that person. Having this kind of emotion makes me wondering, have I moved on? I’m sure I have, but feeling’s a tricky thing. It always manages to mess up with the mind. There’s a good line in Alias… someone who’s master at deception has a very good chance to deceive themselves, deny their own feelings. I guess it’s just because unconsciously I’m trying to fill the void in my heart with this make-believe feelings. Or maybe it’s because the lack of gf to be my OOA. No…it’s not Object Oriented Analysis….but it stands for Object Of Affection (got this term from Smallville)…lolzzz..

Hanson - If Only

Yeah
Cause I need you
Yeah
Cause I need you

Every single time I see you I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I am ever gonna feel this way again
There's a picture that's hanging in the back of my head
I see it over and over

I wanna hold you and love you
In my arms and then
I wanna need you
Cause I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply "You've got to hold it in" this time tonight

chorus:
If only I had the guts to feel this way
If only you'd look at me and want to stay
If only I could take you in my arms and say
I won't go cause I need you
Cause I need you

Yeah

I sit here waiting, wondering, hoping that I'll make this right
Cause all I think about is your hands, your face and all these lonely nights
There's a feeling screaming in the back of my head
Saying it over and over

I wanna hold you and love you
In my arms and then
I wanna need you
Cause I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply "She'll never let you in" this time tonight

chorus
please don`t go cause I need you now

I wanna hear you say it'll always be this way
And we'll be hand in hand for everynight and everyday
I wanna scream and shout cause I'm losing any doubt
And all I care about is you and me and us and now

chorus
Please don't go cause I need you now

Yeah cause I need you

If only, yeah oh yeah cause I need you now
If only cause I need you, I need you
If only, cause I need you
If only cause I need you
If only, yeah, if only...I need you now....yeah


Talking about move on, there’s also another person who’s moving on. I come to that assumption after reading some of her latest blog entries. Just like I have thought before, it took about two months for her to transform the momentum, her feelings for me, into another form. A bigger and better form I believe. Plus she has other activities that she needs to focus on. I’m glad for her. Been in her position before and I may say I know what it’s like, that it’s just a phase that she’ll get through. An experience that I believe enriches her life, makes her a better person.

Today’s Lorena bday. Haven’t met or had any contact with her in a long time. And the bad news is I lost her phone # in my cellphone incident. Well, I just wanna congratulate her, wishing her the best in this her 22nd birthday. May God bless her even more abundantly.

Writing this blog while listening to Naff – Akhirnya Ku Menemukanmu. It’s a mellow song…my type of song at the moment. Thanks to Moet who sent me this song today.


Naff – Akhirnya Ku Menemukanmu

Akhirnya ku menemukanmu
Saat hati ini mulai merapuh
akhirnya ku menemukanmu
Saat raga ini ingin berlabuh

Ku berharap engkaulah
Jawaban segala risau hatiku
Dan biarkan diriku
Mencintaimu hingga ujung usiaku

Reff:
Jika nanti ku sanding dirimu
Miliki aku dengan segala kelemahanku
Dan bila nanti engkau di sampingku
Jangan pernah letih tuk mencintaiku

Akhirnya ku menemukanmu
Saat hati ini mulai meragu

Ku berharap engkaulah
Jawaban segala risau hatiku
Dan biarkan diriku
Mencintaimu hingga ujung usiaku

Reff (2x)

Akhirnya ku menemukanmu


When will I find you?